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BM with zero boundaries strikes again

blendin's picture

Submitted by blendin on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 9:25am

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Just when things were going well (BM calling at appropriate times, attending school events and not sitting with FI not e-mailing every five minutes with nonsense etc), FI gets an e-mail this morning from BM telling him she thinks she and FI should go together to their former marriage counselor to "work out communication issues, and be on the same page as far as what to tell sd8 about the divorce." Um, they've been divorced, this isn't news to the kids. I move in three weeks from now, the kids are thrilled. Basically, BM doesn't want the kids to ever know she's a cheater with daddy and multiple other issues. What a sicko. They were in therapy for over a year and she thought that was pointless, now that they're divorced she wants to go back? What a control freak. Ugh. FI told her no way in hell, and he will communicate as he pleases regarding the divorce to both children.

amber3902's picture

Submitted by amber3902 on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 9:50am

Good for Dad.

Neither parent should be discussing the details of the divorce with the kids anyway.

blendin's picture

Submitted by blendin on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 10:11am

Exactly! They're 8 and 5, FI isn't about to tell them their mom cheated (among other nonsense). When they ask, they are told that there were issues that simply couldn't be worked out, end of discussion. Might they find out more someday? Anything's possible, but if she's so afraid of the kids finding out, she should have thought of that sooner. She said the changes she's made in the last two weeks are killing her. Calling at a designated time instead of in the middle of dinner and not sitting with FI at sd8's practice are killing her? Time to let go, BM.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 10:21am

This sounds SO much like something our NPD BM would have done. Shortly after DH and I got together she was begging him to go on holiday abroad with them "for the children's sake". Totally inappropriate - no boundaries. Then she made up lies about reporting him to social services (when he rang them they had no idea who he was, and no record of a call from her).

She accused him of paedophiliac tendencies - in an attempt, I am sure, to get me to leave him.
She violated so many boundaries in those early years, and still has a go at it every now and then up until the present day, although DH is a LOT better at dealing with her now.

Good for your DH - you need to hold your own very strong boundaries when dealing with such unprincipled people.

blendin's picture

Submitted by blendin on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 11:11am

Oh BM in my case is the queen of saying it's for the children when really it's to help her cover up her own issues and guilt. What BM in your case is doing sounds like a special circle of hell. That's terrible!