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changed fb rs tatus after ExSO suggested we could still catch up

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Sat, 08/17/2013 - 4:20pm

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It is so sad,but SO picked up the rest of his stuff - and the brat came along.We tried to escape, but they came early.Anyway, we somehow survived it- I managed not to cry and just ignored her behaviour- she was acting totally hyper and show off party -like, which was totally expected as she wanted to show everyone that she won and has daddy for herself.But no one cared, think my kids are happy she is gone since she always dobs and manipulates .The one who cried was ExSO.Now, here is the thing- he did show no effort in regards to my suggestion to go to councelling and refused to fight for our rs, even not when it came to the crunch.BUT he suggested that we could see each other when SD is not around!!!!!!!!! So, to summarize, he really wants the cream of the cake everywhere- doing no changes or councelling at all , parenting his mini wife as a priority when she is there (without any interference by the evil sm) and in the left over time I am expected to wait for him and play the happy girlfriend who is grateful that she can still see him at least???So I am left with a broke and stubborn part time partner who can't give me a future for the next 10 years since he has to parent and doesn't want to find ways to work things out....I am sorry, am I the only one who finds his proposal really disturbing?

sbm014's picture

Submitted by sbm014 on Sat, 08/17/2013 - 4:41pm

It is very disturbing. This is his attempted to as you said "have cream of the cake everywhere", he doesn't want to make a effort to have to go out and find another woman to get that bit of affection - as he probably know PrincessPoo won't approve and she is the main priority. I would cut off any form of contact - this is YOUR life now, you are not second best you are the best it is time for you to take control and feel that way with this scum completely in the dust.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 08/17/2013 - 5:07pm

He doesn't want a relationship, he wants to add you to his booty call list.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Sat, 08/17/2013 - 9:45pm

Yeah, my ex-bf did the same thing to me. After he told me he didn't want me living with him anymore, and before I could find a new place to live, he took me to lunch and proposed that we just date on his weeks off from the kids, and then on kid week, we would just have a lot of lunches. Two hours later, I broke it off with him completely. I had never been so enraged.

I made him help me move into my new house, made him pay for the trailer.

Anyway, he kept calling me and texting me, wanting to date me, I told him he was just looking for some free and convenient sex. He was so shocked I could every think that of him.

It's not really disturbing, it's just what asshole men do. They don't really want to date, they just want a free nanny with sex benefits.

anafiodorova's picture

Submitted by anafiodorova on Sun, 08/18/2013 - 6:49am

Sadly been there done that. I said sadly because it was sad and lonely. I know how you feel - applaud your courage to leave and take care of you.
I know the back and forth and the lets be friends, date, meet etc. No need to tell you not to buy it.
His behavior shows you that he still does not get it- he wants to remove the daughter and be just you and him and then on his week with the daughter to be just him and the daughter. What does this tell you- he sees YOU as the problem not him or his behaviour. In his mind- keep daughter and girlfriend separate and everybody will be happy. So he has to remove the problem and then everybody is happy. He is trying to please, you and his daughter and his family instead of standing up as a man of integrity and putting some boundaries and order in the situation.You wanted to go to counseling so that this process is started. He is not ready to see this yet.He stills sees you as the problem, and he is the poor victim that is left because he needs to take care of his daughter. This is so convenient for him and saves him face.But he still wants ex and is lazy, tired, old etc to look for booty call so he figures some friends with benefits will not harm anyone since you already know him. Well, this is how much he values you and respects you.
Put your life in order after this mess and attract the right MAN for YOU!!!! Many blessings and love on your new path!