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DD art supplies "disappear"

stepmominhiding's picture

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stepmominhiding's picture

DD15, DD16 and SD14 all spent the night at my mothershouse. DD16 brought her art supplies that she had just bought. She spent  $45 on everything, sketch pad, carrying case pencils, erasere, sharpener, smudging stick, etc. Well after they returned from spending the night, she realized that she couldn't find her art supplies. She swore she put it in her overnight bag, but assumed that she left them behind. She called my mother, explained what it looked like, and she couldn't find it. DD16 looked EVERYWHERE, I helped look in her room, I tore open garbage bags from the last few days. I explained to DH that i was looking for DDs art supplies, he called SD and asked her about it (at this point, SD is back home with BM), SD said last she saw it was at my mothers house. We looked EVERYWHERE, DH was sure that nobody stole it, but bought DD16 new set of everything (I am sure it's because he is feeling guilty that SD probably DID steal it.)

A few weeks before this, ater picking DD15 up from babysitting, I left my purse on the TV stand in the room that SD was watching TV in (I don't keep money in my purse, so i didn't think anything of it) Apparently on the way home, DD15 put money in my purse since she had no pockets, and I didn't realize it. well about 15 min later, DD asked me to put her money in her wallet. I go to look in my purse, and there is no money in it. I search frantically, I search the yard, I search my purse again, I search MY pockets, I look around and behind the TV. no money, DD gave DD15 the $50 out of his own pocket, because I am sure he felt guilty because he thinks SD took it.

I have no proof, I can't be 100% sure, but SD has a history of stealing multiple time from BM, Multiple times fro her brother at BMs house, and multiple times from the school fundraiser. It's not far fetched that she did it here as well. I am literally in tears over this!

Petronella's picture

Ugh, that's tough. At least your husband replaced everything right away. You're right, you have no proof. 

You and your daughters need to be a lot more careful with your cash and possessions. Caution them about this. Don't leave anything of value unattended. Give them drawers or boxes for their rooms that can be locked.

I would hope that after this there would be no further invitations for SD to spend the night at your mother's house.

 

stepmominhiding's picture

We actually have a safe in our bedroom that everyone leaves their wallets/cash/valuables. I wasnt aware that dd had put her money in my purse.  By the time she told me it was too late, sd had taken it.  Dd16 wanted to show off her art supplies to my parents (she loves  drawing for them).  She left everything in her bag when not in use.  She didn't think sd would go through her bag, esp at my parent's house.  But she knows now that it should stay in her room. 

stepmominhiding's picture

I agree 100% he doesn't want to admit that his daughter is stealing, but doesn't wasnt DD to go without. I also agree that it's BM and DH are at fault. SD will never learn if she isn't made to face her mistakes.  

 

BM wrote sd's application letter for  national honor society speaking of how great jet character is. How honorable and trustworthy she is.  She also told all her friends to write the same thing.  When she stole from the fundraiser ger mother paid for all the candy she stole.  And gave her brother the money that she stole from him.  And now DH is basically doing the same thing. I am not sd's mother and can't really do much other than state my opinion. 

BethAnne's picture

Put up some discreet nanny cams, don't tell anyone they are there but make sure to check them if anything else goes missing. 

Siemprematahari's picture

So you have sticky fingers on your hands and your H continues to sweep it under the rug and cover it up.....What is he going to do when she escalates to bigger and more expensive things? Is he going to attempt to smooth that over too? This is a problem and your H needed to address this YESTERDAY.

 

stepmominhiding's picture

I agree 100% he doesn't want to admit that his daughter is stealing, but doesn't wasnt DD to go without. I also agree that it's BM and DH are at fault. SD will never learn if she isn't made to face her mistakes.  

 

BM wrote sd's application letter for  national honor society speaking of how great jet character is. How honorable and trustworthy she is.  She also told all her friends to write the same thing.  When she stole from the fundraiser ger mother paid for all the candy she stole.  And gave her brother the money that she stole from him.  And now DH is basically doing the same thing. I am not sd's mother and can't really do much other than state my opinion. 

stepmominhiding's picture

Dds and i have been more careful. Dd had put her art supplies in her overnight bag, short of getting a lock for the bag there's not much more she can do.  Dd put her money in my purse and I wasnt aware.  It wasn't until she asked me to put it away in her wallet that is actually in a locked safe in MY room, that i knew she adopted it in my purse.  She didn't know o was going to put my purse out in the open.  It's sad that one time we get only a little lax for just 15 min that sticky fingers takes advantage. 

tog redux's picture

Yes. That means she goes through your purse all the time to check for money, and this time, she found it.  How old is this thief?

stepmominhiding's picture

14yrs old. I only put my debit card in my purse if i am going shopping.  Other than that it's just my driver's license a pack of gum and a bunch of old receipts. I keep my keys on a hook. I can only think that she was looking for a peice of gum, but she still should have asked. It's ridiculous. 

stepmominhiding's picture

Im not making excuses, i just don't see any reason ti go in my purse, but you could be right, she probably does go through my purse daily,  99%the is nothing in there that she could take. 

tog redux's picture

Well, most women have money in their purse, so she probably checks periodically to see if it's in there. If my SS ever went through my purse even looking for gum, there would have been hell to pay from DH.

It's sad to me that you have to be so careful about your purse in your own home.  I agree with the nanny cam idea - catch her in the act and insist on action from DH or the police will be called.

Ispofacto's picture

Put some theft powder on a $20 bill and put it in your purse.  When it disappears, have the kids show their hands.  Have her arrested.

 

SteppedOut's picture

My formerSO's kid stole whatever he could from me (and others) multiple times. He stole jewelry from me even, a couple thousand in retail value. Never got it back and formerSO made excuses for how it was missing and never replaced it. I left a couple months after I discovered it was gone and he said he would replace it "when I came back". Anything of value and things not even of value he would take (like a half drank juice bottle). He just felt anything was subject to becoming his when he wanted it. 

It STINKS living with a thief. I will NEVER live with someone again that I have to hide and/or lock up my belongings to feel they are secure. 

beebeel's picture

I would tell my husband he has until tomorrow evening to address his daughters stealing, or I would be doing it myself. He won't like how I address it, so he'd best get off his ass and get to parenting.