Dear BM,
Is nothing sacred? Don't you see your daughter suffering? Most couples I know fight over visitation for the holidays but not you. You were shipping SD11 off to family for Christmas but I guess you changed your mind after you saw the prices for the flight. I think your comment to me was "you guys won't see her until the new year". How things change so quickly! Now DH has instructions to pick up "your" daughter 12/23 and don't bring her back until 12/26. So you don't want to see her at all?? Are you pulling the same thing you pulled for her birthday? Remember we bought her an I-Pod Touch and your gift was supposed to be the $30 to upgrade it? How tacky! DH is with me now and I'm filling him in on the tricks. I guess you aren't planning to buy her any presents this year and she can just have Christmas with her dad and his new family as you call us. Well guess what when his new family heard that she was coming for Christmas and that her mother wasn't interested in spending any time with her they all stepped up to the plate. Your daughter will have the best Christmas of her life. You are a low down, dirty piece of crap and you don't deserve the title of mother. Nothing but death itself could keep me away from my own bio kid. I hope you will be enjoying another free weekend because I'll be enjoying the company of your daughter who by the way keeps asking me if she can call me mom. Out of respect for you I have declined (i'm really starting to rethink this one).
I think I can see what she is
I think I can see what she is saying. I am sure they are happy to have SD but feel sorry for her that her own mother doesn't want her. BM planned all sorts of appts and sleepovers for the steps during our Christmas break time, but she isn't actually spending time with her children. She is dropping them off at her mom's and enjoying 2 weeks of child-free bliss. If she were to actually spend that time with her children, I would be happy for them. The fact that she is purposely pulling them from DH just to dump them elsewhere makes me sad for them. It is appalling how some of these women cannot be bothered to spend time with their children.
Echo this is about his
Echo this is about his DAUGHTER. This BM dumps her at every occasion. She finds every excuse in the book not to make basketball games or practice, she attends no school functions. We have even had SD on Mother's day. Can you imagine how awkward that was for her. Wanting to celebrate but your mom didn't give a good rip to try and even spend the day with you.
Every weekend and holiday BM dumps her. She doesn't even make sure her hair is combed or that she's bathing. Her only concern is the check, if it wasn't for that she would have given up custody a long time ago. We are tickled to death that she will be with a loving family on Christmas but this does not excuse the fact that her mother is a dead beat. That was the only reason for the post. DH is thrilled that he will be able to spend time with his daughter but that doesn't excuse the fact that her momma doesn't deserve the term.
Also, I've been in this little girls life for almost 8 years so the family ain't so new. Picking up BM's slack. I have watched the disappointment on this kid's face regarding her own mother. The chick needs to wake up.
PS. she deserves a good bashing (literaly)
I had a hard time when my SD
I had a hard time when my SD started calling me Mommy. I didn't feel like I deserved the title, after all, she does have her "own" mom. It took a very mad 3 year old SD to TELL me that "I was her mommy cause she NEEDED me to be her forever mommy." I realized then that I was only hurting this little girl further by not allowing her the comfort and security she needed from me as a mommy. Bio mom is a POS and has done some really horrible things to this little girl. After numerous calls to CPS my SD was placed for a short time in foster care. She is now in our custody and at the end of Jan. we have a court date set for custody. I realize now that by me being her mommy she felt safe and loved where Bio mom didn't make her feel that way. My two cents? let her call you mom, she NEEDS you!
bm over here flat out told
bm over here flat out told sd13 that she doesnt have money to get her anything until january, so therefore wont be seeing her at all christmas break, the actual holiday included. and for new years eve? bm, dopey, and dopey's mother will be going to a gay bar. NOT knocking homosexuals (one of my good friends is a lesbian), all im saying is they made the plans and actually told me they have to 'save up' for the bar night. so...where is the money for sd's gifts?
its rediculous how bm's are the 'heros' to most of these skids, and the stepparents are evil, yet the bms, and some biodads, could care less about their kids. they act as if they would rather gouge their eyes out than be with their kids.
I a bm that could care less
I a bm that could care less about Holiday time. Truly. I'm not a holiday person....I have them @300 days a year....I don't need 12/24 or 12/25 to make me happy. Also..if I had the kids..we would go to my mom's...that's it, no other family on my side at the holidays. However my ex has a HUGE family with plenty of out of towners and other guests..there's always a big fun crowd. I'm also anti-gifts...I don't spend much on them at Christmas/totally anti-commercialism. Their dad is a huge techie fan...they get laptops and such and he loves to splurge.
I feel like Holiday celebrations are my ex's specialty...I do the game nights, puzzles, crafts, cooking, homework...I just have a different set of strengths.
So I'm that awful bm that doesn't care if they are with me on the holidays. IMO...it's just another day.
I get this, as my kids are 17
I get this, as my kids are 17 and 15. This year, not much of a celebration as it is just some well needed restful time. BUT, I have been the one for all these years as a mom to make sure Christmas for my kids were good. While they were young I was the one who played Santa, put gifts under the tree at 12 on Christmas Eve, fill their stockings, ect. My ex, when the kids were little, was too busy being a grown-up kid going on trips and having plans of his own to make Christmas special or take them on the holidays. So, now that he has grown up- and the kids don't need me to make it "special", they have more interest in being with their father, and this year, that is OK with me.
I think the difference is
I think the difference is that you do spend time with your children. You play with them, are involved in their school work, do crafts with them. We have the kids EOWe. The weekends we don't have them, the grandparents have them. And during the week when BM is supposed to mother them, she goes home from work and smokes and drinks till she passes out. Not spending the holidays with your kids when you have a small family is one thing. Not spending the holidays with your kids because you would rather just pretend you were single and child-free is a completely different story.
I'm not saying she's not a
I'm not saying she's not a horrible mother...just that not caring to be with your kids on the holidays doesn't mean you are a piece of shit. Dh and I fully plan on acting like a wild, crazy, childfree couple over Christmas!!
Let her call you mom if she's
Let her call you mom if she's comfortable with it.
I wish sd8 would call me
I wish sd8 would call me mom/momma/mommy whatever just not "slut with a bad attitude" yes, she called me that (behind my back) then she was very rudely ignored the remainder of the time we had them.
I wish my sd's would go back to the sweet little girls they were, before being PASed. I truly loved those little girls. Now we're just strangers who occupy the same house once in a while, sharing their dads Love and attention.
I'm very sorry for this little girl, her mother should be ashamed.