Does anyone wish they worked eow when skids are there?
Lately, when it's our eow with skids, I find myself dreading leaving work. They get to my house before I get home, and I walk into a chaotic mess. They just drop their backpacks anywhere on the floor, they always have to have snacks, which I am fine with, but they leave crumbs and glasses, and wrappers in my living room. The two girls always change into about 4 or 5 different outfits and leave the clothes everywhere. My kids hide out in their rooms pretty much the whole weekend, and by the time the skids leave, I am totally exhausted. They don't go to bed at a decent hour and one or more always wakes up through the night. I feel like I need to take a day off just to catch up on rest and get my house back in order. I leave work in an hour, and since today was a day off school the skids arrived right after I left for work. I am really dreading what shape I will find the house in when I get home. I wish I could just go stay at my mom's eow when they are there.
My question is why do you but
My question is why do you but up with all of that ^^^^^^^^^?
No I don't wish I worked when the skids are with us. I am not always there, I do have a life outside of FDH's kids. I go and do my own thing.
But I can tell you this, no one leaves their stuff, trash or whatever around my house. You stuff you pick it up. Early on FSD9 then, left her towel on the bathroom floor. I went in there looked at it and said who's towel is on the floor. She said mine. I said please pick it up and take it to the laundry room. She looked at me and said I don't pick it up at my mom's.
I said does this look like your mom's house? Do I look like your mom? FSD9 at this house everyone pick up after themselves. I will not ask you to pick up after me, do not expect me to pick up after you.
That was almost 4 yrs ago. Sometime the skids will leave something here or there, most of the time Fdh see's it and gets onto them, but if he doesn't, where ever I am or what ever it is I say in a loud voice "who left .....". Which ever skid it is they come and put it away.
Yes, the house is messier when the skids come... 4 people vs 2, and they are in and out of the house, playing outside etc, and yes sometime I get sick of cleaning up on Sunday nite after they leave. But FDH helps, and we get it out of the way pretty quick. Also I have mellowed some, if it all doesn't get vacuumed, mopped, etc that night is will in the next couple.
Maybe it is time for a new set of rules at your house, and some tough love.
I don't like it, but I have
I don't like it, but I have stepped back and am letting DH deal with his children. I have sat down with DH multiple times to talk about what is expected, and to be quite honest, I don't care if he picks up after them, or if he makes them do it, It just bothers me that it is not done. My bio's are grown and I've already been there and done all of it with them, and don't want to do it over again with his kids. I guess the main problem is that he basically has blinders on when it comes to his kids, and doesn't discipline them or even see how much chaos they cause. I do sometimes wonder what DH would think if I went away on the weekends that the skids are there and let him deal with it all. I could just tell him I expect the house to be in the same condition as I left it when I get back. That is my fantasy.
Great fantasy! I have never
Great fantasy! I have never full engaged, so it is much easier for me. I found this site early on and read everything I could get my hands on. I have kept my distance. I have very strick boundaries for myself, but I will not let my house be wreck. But once again I started from day one. Also it is my house, when they first visited me so it was much easier to establish the ground rules.
I feel bad for you, I hate it when my house is a mess.
Yes, I too already raised my own. Maybe you should join some ladies groups or a gym and not be there as much when they are there...
My second suggestion is to start drinking a lot, then it will just be a blur when they are there
I do both, and it seems to work.
Thank you Dragonfly, I
Thank you Dragonfly, I appreciate the advice. I think I might find more things to do outside the house when they are there. I should have started with the ground rules right from the start. I suppose I just expected that DH would get after them when they were making a mess, as I would have visiting someone when my bio's were small.
Drinking sounds good. TGIF. Have a great weekend.
Join a meet up group! There a
Join a meet up group! There a blast. I have 2 that I am a member of and they are always doing something. If I want I go if I don't its ok.
I am so thankful for this site. If I hadn't found it, I am not sure we would have survived. I have learned so much!
Give them plenty of warning
Give them plenty of warning and then start throwing their crap away. The good stuff. The trash I would save and stuff in their backpack on the way out the door.
It's called consequences.