Maybe not. At the same time, not sure her side of the story. Are you the innocent victim here? Is she doing it all for the kids? Do you do any type of parenting here? Setting boundaries, etc? Or is it all left up to your wife? Just wondering. It seems your ex is now a wonderful person, your kids are "poor innocent kids" and you too are a victim...all victims of your wife...makes me wonder. There are always two sides to every story.

BTW, I do not agree with anyone slapping another person, but I do believe that if a man disrespects a woman, he deserves at least a slap in the face. }:)
PS, I wouldn't stay around though...if a man disrespected me enough to slap him, I think I would tell him where to go and move on.

OK, once MAY be forgivable. But I don't see what she has done to you as forgivable. She has a lot of anger issues and she is not going to get better because her anger gives her what she wants.

SHE needs to realize that no matter what the issue is, the way she choses to respond is UNACCEPTABLE. There might not be any other way of making her realize this but to move out or kick her out.

Anger can be a good emotion...until you can no longer control it. Your wife is not in control of herself. Please don't wait until she turns on your kids or her own. She is verbally, emotionally AND physically abusive. It will get worse and worse.

The way I see it, your options are few:
1. Get you, her or BOTH of you into counseling
2. You leave
3. She leaves

I agree with everybody else. She has anger issues and it's damaging you and your kids. It's not right or ok and you need to do something. If she sees her behavior as unhealthy and is willing to go to counseling start there. If not, then your options just got a lot smaller.

Robby, dude, get you and your kids out of there. You don't need it, they sure as hell don't need it. Speaking from experience, it's hard to bounce back from an abusive step parent's presence. She sounds bat shit crazy.

Look at it this way...if you don't do something, you will lose visits with your kids. You said their BM has notified you about her concerns about what is happening at your home more than once now.

I would not allow my children to go into this situation and be called names, screamed at or witness violence between their father and SM. The day they saw either adult punch the other in the face would be the last day they would be around that person for a loooonnnnggg time, until I was assured they had gotten their shit together. I would go to court and get the visitation suspended and your ex-wife may well do the same. Your wife's anger issues could cost you your kids.

If I could speak to your wife I bet I would be very sympathetic to her feelings and frustrations with blending a family. I also have no trouble imagining that you as the father are doing a bunch of things wrong and she is rightfully pissed off with the whole situation. However, I have no sympathy whatsoever for her behavior. She is out of control and needs to be stopped before more damage is done. Either separate while you seek major family counselling --and she needs to be willing--or cut your losses and file for divorce.

I agree...being a SM is hard, but you don't just get to hit people.

It bears repeating the pps... What she is doing is wrong. It is domestic violence, and her not changing, or you not leaving may make you lose your kids.

From your posts it seems your wife has some severe underlying anger issues. It is not normal to scream at innocent children, or the one you love. If you want a future with her she needs some severe mental help, and I suspect some family counseling. But, if she's screamed and hit all the love from you, it's time to take your kids and go. Wait til she's gone someplace, pack your things and walk out the door. The divorce decree will establish rights to the house... If it is only in your name, and purchased prior to the marriage it should be a little easier for you, along with the domestic violence and short marriage. If she hits you again please call the cops, and photograph the injury. Proof will make the divorce so much easier on you.

Good luck sir. My heart broke reading your post. No man deserves what that monster living inside of your wife is doing to you and your family. Leaving is scary, but losing the rights to your children will be much more terrifying.

Oh man, this is so bad and not right at all. It will get worse and your kids should not have to see that. I think you already know what you need to do, just bite the bullet, pack up and take your kids to a better place. Then I'd file a CPS complaint on her because her kids don't need to be her punching bag either.

My SO was in an abusive relationship with BM, he walked through the door one day from work, hadn't even taken his jacket off and she flew at him and just punched him in the mouth. A second incident occurred quite similar where he was watching some tv and she just came at him punching him in the mouth again. She had no explanation for why she did it either time. He basically said, once shame on me, twice shame on you, hit me again and I'll put your teeth down your throat. He wouldn't actually do that mind you, he is not abusive at all, he just thought maybe it would scare her into stopping. There was another incident, this was soon after he had left BM and he was at a wedding for his brother, BM had been invited months prior so she attended as well. SO had just had his second spinal surgery days prior so he was using a cane to help get around. He went out for a smoke with some friends, BM hid in the stairwell and waited for everyone to go in, then she went out, kicked him in the balls, he fell to the ground, she grabbed his cane and started beating him in the back with it! She denied the whole thing but it was clear he had been attacked because when he came back to my place later that night and my mom came to change his bandages my mom was like what the hell happened to you! The incision site looked horrible!

Anyways, you aren't the only man to be abused, and you won't be the last but you can change the situation and get out of it! People who love one another do NOT treat each other this way.

I am so sorry. Everyone is giving your great advice. You need to walk away from this relationship, for you and your children.

I have never been in an abusive relationship, so perhaps I am a little less sympathetic than those who have been in your shoes before. If you do not leave this sort of relationship, I honestly feel that you should not have any custody of your children. You are willingly and knowingly putting them at risk. I would say the same to a woman. Get out before it gets worse. You know this is wrong. It's not your fault that this happened, but what you do next is entirely on you.