facebook request
So today ss sent a facebook request to me. Should I accept or should I not? I dont think he requestd me because he likes me and wants to keep in touch with me. He just called here yesterday wanting me to give dh a message that he was trying to call him-said all he gets is voicemail on dh's phone-well duh, that's where you leave a message. Not call your sm that you have made clear that you can't stand and tell her to tell him to call. He didnt ask how anyone is doing, or tell us to call him, or even say hi. (for those of you that dont remember-my dh is out of town for the military and will be until probably May). SS had said earlier this year-that he doesnt like to be around me or my children because he doesnt feel he gets along well with them and well, darn it he just really doesnt like me. Not to mention that there are years worth of crap that made it advisable that noone mentioned ss visiting us while dh was gone. I felt though that I might get a call from himaaz or bm as xmas approached-1)bm will want to get rid of him for a good 10 days 2)SS will want presents-so I am afraid that this is what all this is about.
SS didnt request any of his siblings as friends, but is so happens that my dd13 is friends with one of his friends. So dd13 chatted with this friend and just said, "hey do you know my brother" and she said yes, she was just talking to him and never even knew that he had 2 sisters (she just knew of 1 at bm's). Actually he has 2 sisters here and 1 brother-that's all dd said and then signed off. Is it wrong that this bothers me on some level? SS has gone to school with this girl for over 3 years, in fact they used to "go out"-but ss NEVER mentioned that he had any other sibs? SS's friend request came for me-5 minutes after dd had this conversation-so my other thought is that he is pissy somehow because dd dared to speak to one of his friends?
Anywho, should i accept his request or not? I do not want to get involved as a go between him and dh. My dh is hard to get ahold of-but I feel like when and whether they talk is between the two of them and not me. I also dont want to discuss with him why he is not getting any presents here at this house. I dont feel there is any genuine desire to be my "friend" here-but I am just a means to an end.
take the blessings where you
take the blessings where you can. I always watch what I put on facebook, anyone can look you up and such so all of my kids have me on as a friend also. Small things like playing the same game can open a door to further the relationship between you.
It's a mixed bag. SS and SD
It's a mixed bag. SS and SD are my "friends" on facebook but anything I say is censored to the nth degree. Even if they weren't my friends my nieces and nephews are so it would get back to them anyway. I am not sure they would say anything because a) I am the only aunt they like and trust me that is not saying much and b) they aren't that close to the skids but it's not worth the risk.
BUT as I just reread your post ... Here is what I would first ask.
1. NO ONE else in your family is friends with SS? Then no, don't be the first. There is no precedent and as you stated it gives ample opportunity for you to become a go between.
2. Is DD close to SS's friend? If not there really is no need for her to continue down that path of friendship. That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. SS will exploit it for all it's worth now that he knows about it. DD does not need to be dragged into SS's drama.
I hope everything works out for you. The holidays are stressful enough without the love of the steps.
Ah, well dh was able to get
Ah, well dh was able to get ahold of ss yesterday. SS did mention to him that he had a facebook acount and that, while he was grounded right now and can't get on there, maybe he will be able to keep in touch with all of us after he is not grounded from the computer. Um, gee I got my request last night (after ss talked to dh), ss had a status update last night, and dd chatted with the girl who said she just got done chatting with ss at 7pm.
Ugh. I have not accepted and I dont think I want to. I realize that it also gives ss's bm and family access to my page, my personal info, pics, etc. And while I dont have anything incriminating on there-I just dont like the idea of bm being able to be up in my biznit. I dont even know if she would-but the opportunity would be there thru ss's page.
You can accept the FB request
You can accept the FB request while still blocking any of your status updates & pictures from him. Or anyone for that matter. YOu go to your privacy settings and click on CUSTOMIZE. Where it says SHARE POSTS BY ME there is a box that says Friends Only etc..But if you go to CUSTOMIZE - you can HIDE POSTS from so & so, so & so & So & So. So your updates will ALWAYS be hidden from whoever you have in that list. So while you are STILL FB friends you can still limit what they see. (This is how I have all my in-laws who ALL hate me yet they wanna be all up in my biz)
Hmm, this might be a viable
Hmm, this might be a viable option. I am sure I will be viewed as a wicked sm if I dont accept poor ss's request. Will he know that I am blocking him from my posts?
NO. He won't know. But make
NO. He won't know. But make sure you just add him to the HIDE POSTS FROM list and not the BLOCK list. It's different.
I actually accepted a friend
I actually accepted a friend request from my BFs daughter then she just recently deleted me. I confronted her and asked her why through text and email but no replies. But I did snoop on her page and I think that is a reason why she deleted me and come to think of it she actually blocked me.
I have two FB profiles for
I have two FB profiles for this exact reason. That way, on the one, I can put whatever I want. The other one is for skids benefit - and snoopy BM of course
omg facebook is stalker land
omg facebook is stalker land for bms. who knows, it may be her that added you under the kids name. they will do anything to get information. the bm in my life stirs up as much crap as possible, because that is her entertainment, making sure we are afflicted.