Wow. Ex's are ex's for a reason. They are too involved for my taste and gives kids the idea that if they get rid of you, mom and dad will get back together. No way I would do this & I would seriously be reconsidering a relationship with anyone who wanted to hang out with their ex. I am not a sister-wife. Tell him you are spending father's day with your ex instead. I bet it will go over like a lead balloon.

You're kidding, right?

No this is not normal. Why invite BM to a lunch? She's not the children's father. She's not BF's father. She's not your father. Why would she be included? What other things are these 4 doing as one big ol' happy family (you mention they do lots of things)? Hell, why have a GF moved in with Dad, why not Dad just move back in with Mom and call it a day.

If my husband wanted to have lunch, or do anything else, with his ex-wife and kids, he would have stayed married to her.

Me? I'd pack my things up and move out. This guy isn't ready to have a new partner in life. If he wants to play house/family with his ex, you can't stop him, He's happy. Ex is happy. Kids are happy. The only one not happy is you and this guy doesn't respect you enough to place proper boundaries and live a divorced life.

Wicked witch of the west? No, nothing you are suggesting as to appropriate boundaries makes you the bad guy. No other woman would be putting up with this, much less with a smile on her face. You're 40yrs old. Why have you chosen to live like this? If you don't stand up for yourself and respect yourself, nobody else is going to.

Move back to a nice little house or apartment by yourself. No man is worth them being allowed to disrespect you to the point Dad and Mom are treating you. You might as well just be the nanny (oh, who gives BF sweet benefits on the side).

You've mentioned BF isn't the one who wanted the divorce and it's been only a year since the divorce. This guy isn't ready to commit to another relationship. He's still in one with his ex except for the marital bed.

Hahahaha! Yeah, this would not be happening in my world. No, this is not normal and it's ridiculous to expect a partner to put up with. Your BF is an ass if he thinks this is okay.

The kids asked that she go? Do they get everything they ask for? They know their parents are divorced, right?

I would tell him to give me a call when he and BM are REALLY divorced. I mean, there's being civil and then there's dating.

Funny how these people want to put on some kind of a front "for the kids" but couldn't make their marriage work "for the kids". Eff that.

Yeah..... No.

Nope... never. I have seen situations (very few) where the BM, SM and DH all do things together with the kid/s. I could never do it. NoPE. DH wouldn't do it either.

But Father's Day... that's taking it a bit far!

This isn't normal and it shows zero respect to you as his partner. How would he feel if you invited your ex boyfriends to meals? If my DH pulled this on me I would tell him that his continued relationship with his ex is stressful and alienating to me, and he must understand that I would be the odd one out at this 'family' dinner. Doesn't matter if the kids want her there or not, it wouldn't be happening.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I would never do this.

Around Mothers/Fathers Day season in our first 6 mos of marriage SDthen13 started blubbering about making things even or the same or something between the two. I flat out told her that we would help her prepare for Mother's Day if she wanted but otherwise there was a boundary between the two houses. (Yes, I actually used the word "boundary" to her!) Therefore there was no way we were going to plan a party for her mom or attend one. We would take her gift shopping or whatever and then it was up to her.

Your bf and his ex are living in fantasyland. Not good for kids.

The best advice I ever got on st from someone. " pick a wife!" Yep, tell him to choose a wife. If she texts his phone asking if she can come or says In front of you, you simply ask her if they would like for you to get out of their way. There can not be two wife's. Maybe in the bible days or In some sick twisted mans fantasy world. Marriage is a man and wife forming a union of family. Really, you are the mother of your household. Of coarse they have a mother and you do not want to take away that from them such as big decision making in their world. However, you do not want to be a third wheel.