Feelings about DH's Ex-Wife/BM
I seen a post on here that made me think... Did you realize when you got together with your DH/SO that the feelings would be so strong when dealing with his Ex/BM? I have to say for me the intensity of it definitely hit me up side the head. I knew he would have to deal with her because of the child but it seemed like she was trying her best to maintain control of Dh and their relationship even his relationship with SS. It aggravated me that she still had a key to the house and felt like she could come by, have dinner together and call whenever she wanted and talk about whatever she wanted even stuff non-related to SS. What also shocked me was how much that DH allowed this behavior to continue and did not see anything wrong with it until I started talking to my Ex. My feelings have evened out a little more but wow she can get my blood boiling when she calls DH to whine on his shoulder and all he says is I was trying to get off the phone. I agree with someone else that stated on here why can't the Ex/BM get a life??? Make her own friends? Hang out with her own family? Whine to her friends and family? I'm ranting again.... Anyway, my feelings were and are very hard to deal with sometimes and it is hard to be logical when it makes me soooo upset that she acts like she is the boss over DH and our home. How do you deal with it?
I was with you until you
I was with you until you talked about how much control she has over YOUR household.
That is not a problem with HER, that is a problem wiht your DH/SO!
I complained to DH about how often she would call...and always screaming about something money related. When he decided to go to court to get a visitation order (only when PB needed a free sitter, when I came in the picture), he ALSO put in a "No Contact Unless Emergency" clause to diminish her futile attempts to win DH back through phone/text etc.
I guess she must have felt like if you scream enough at a person, they will fall in love with you! LOL
I absolutely didn't know how
I absolutely didn't know how strong my feelings were going to be. It's like one day it all just hit me and now I'm thinking what have I gotten myself into.
I wish BM would make a new friend and stop feeling like it's ok to try to bug FDH about how she's going to school now to be a nurse and she'll be making more money or dumb bs like that. Sounds great, then maybe she won't have to ask FDH for money all the time. FDH could care less about her life. I'm just waiting on him to actually tell her he doesn't care one way or another what she's doing in her life. Ugh, I know I was just saying how when the texts start rolling in it kills me. One or two texts are fine. No biggie but text after text.. really come on woman, find your own man to talk text! I hate the sound of his texts when they come through anymore. I just want to walk over to the phone and throw it against a wall. haha. God, that would feel great! But lately he's starting to realize it's not ok to talk about anything else but the kids. So her texts come in he doesn't text back unless it's literally about the kids.
The only way I deal with it is to
A. To turn my head, roll my eyes and exhale really loudly so he gets the point.
B. If A. doesn't work I make a smartass remark.
C. Once I settle down, I'll talk to him about how it's irritating and wrong (or come on here and complain! haha).
I really haven't found a way that cope with all this. He tries to tell me how frustrating it is for him but sometimes I feel my frustration is so much worse than his. I have so many solutions that will work for him but none for me besides saying BYE! (Which I don't want to do.)
I know exactly how you feel!
I know exactly how you feel! I find myself doing A alot also. I'm so glad I have this site to complain too, bc my first instinct is to take it out on my DH and when he doesnt respong 98% of the time bc its NOT about the skids, then its really not his fault that the BM is a psycho dramaqueen who thinks the world revovles around her. lol