First Day of School Drama!
Does anyone else experience first day drama??? In the grand scheme of things, this drama is mild compared to most, but it's still getting OLD!!!
I've been with DH for 7 years, so I'm not new to BM drama, yet it still surprises me. Every year school supplies are a big deal....WAY bigger than they should be.
Kindergarten: BM complained and complained in mediation that she didn't have the money for supplies, clothes, etc. DH said he would handle the supplies and help with clothes if needed, but they would not be purchased from the Nike, Adidas, etc. because SS doesn't need name brand in Kindergarten. She crapped all over that so no rules about supplies made it into the order. However, DH being the nice guy (more like sucker) went out and bought all the supplies. BM bitched because he didn't invite her along and so she didn't get to be involved in the process...
1st Grade: She rushed out to get all supplies the day the list came out before DH could (even though he wasn't planning on it since she threw a fit the year before). Then of course complained for months that he didn't help out...
2nd Grade (This year): DH went out and bought half the supplies and let her know what was left. She seemed fine with this strategy. They combined everything in his backpack the weekend before.....First day of school: DH and BM are disagreeing (back in mediation again) BM informs DH the night before she doesn't want to do the normal bring him to school the first day and is just putting him on the bus. DH decides to skip the bus send off at BM's house and met SS at school to give hugs, take pics, etc. We ride to work together so I was there too. SS opens his back pack to get out his supplies and starts digging in a panic, I ask whats wrong and he says - these aren't the folders we picked out and he pulls out plain colored folders with his name on them (the ones he and DH picked out were football, baseball, and basketball folders). SS is clearly upset by this and DH does his best to calm him down, said there must have been a mistake and we will fix. Finally SS is smiling again and starts off his first day happier. [[side note - the school has no restriction on folders. They can be plain or character, it doesn't matter]]
DH calls BM on our way to work and asks about the folders...her response? Oh ya, I didn't like those so I threw them away.......WTF!
1. Why do that to your child. Sure you wanted to slight DH for whatever reason, but don't hurt your kid in the process. At least tell him your changing them!!! LIE if you must, anything is better then added stress, his already stressful first day!
2. DON'T THROW PERFECTLY GOOD STUFF AWAY!!! If you don't like them, give them back. I have plenty of uses for folders at home, or we could donate them, something...not just throw money in the garbage.
3. Really! Grow up!
Obviously since they are in mediation again DH is going to try to work in something with supplies, lunch money, etc. in hopes that it will solve this. But lets be honest, she will always find something. I joked to him that next year DH and BM will have to go together with SS, BM can pick everything out and DH can foot the bill. That should solve all the problems!!!! DH gave me the biggest glare and said he would rather chew off his arm then go shopping with her. She would probably insist on gold plated folders! LOL
Phew, I feel much better now! 
This is how my DH dealt with
This is how my DH dealt with the school supplies/clothes drama, "Child support covers that."
RIGHT! My DH says he doesn't
RIGHT! My DH says he doesn't want SS to suffer because BM doesn't have her shit together. I told him if she can afford to go on out of state vacations every other month, she can afford school supplies!
And that right there is what
And that right there is what BM is counting on, that your DH will do whatever for the sake of his son, so that he won't suffer.
Your DH has got to put his foot down. SS didn't get what he wanted anyway, as she threw away what his dad bought him.
You are 100% correct. I keep
You are 100% correct. I keep waiting for this to click for him. I feel like he's getting close, but I don't know.
maybe the hurt his son
maybe the hurt his son suffered will help him see he is not helping
Ooo that's interesting! I
Ooo that's interesting! I never thought about that! That's good to keep in mind! I know she said she doesn't qualify for the free or reduced lunch I've looked at the requirements here and you have to make less then 30K per household. So between her and her husband they must make too much.
Agreed with the supplies. Who cares who buys them!
It never ends detailed CO's
It never ends detailed CO's restrictions, motions I've come to the conclusion these BM's will always find a way to mess with Dad or torment Dad and they will ALWAYS find a reason to insert themselves or make their presence known. I often tease SO saying you know I can see it in 15 years or so BM calling SO because the Grandbaby pooped green or some odd shade of brown. lol I try to just disengage and go with the not my monkey not my circus!
It's So hard!!! I've come a
It's So hard!!! I've come a long way, but still have further to go LOL. Sometimes I surprise myself with my ability to let it roll off and other times I can tell that my frustration is only making DH more frustrated.
Yep. BM rests her ugly self
Yep. BM rests her ugly self like a bad rash during Holidays that don't fall on her year and during the first days of anything: School, Sports, etc. BM dropped SS off for his first day of school for the last two years because they fell on her days. Well this year it fell on DH's day so when BM asked to take him, he told her no that this is not her year. Guess who waited until we dropped him off outside his classroom that morning for a MOTY photo-op? Yep. I'm starting to think it would actually kill her to let DH and SS have anything special just to themselves for once.
At least she just
At least she just demonstrated that she CAN afford school supplies. She purchased her own even after your DH provided. To me, that shows she has plenty of disposable income if she can waste it on duplicating efforts. Clearly child support is sufficient.
I hope some one told SS what
I hope some one told SS what a mongrel his mother is, for trashing his nice folders..
when the skids were young bm
when the skids were young bm was always asking for money on top of cs. this is because she was spending cs on mortgage for the love nest with her new husband. dh would open his wallet for everything: dance lessons, sports camps, clothing for school (expensive things they wanted), you name it.
bm left dh for another man while he was overseas in the military after meeting up with a married former lover who divorced to marry bm. karma hit her in the face when the second husband left for another woman. i dont understand women who cheat with married men and then marry them.
do they think the same fate wont happen to them? lol.