Full custody Week 1!
So, DH and I have full custody of ss8 for the next 6 months(provided that bm comes back!!!) We officially started our journey on Friday. It is monday, MLK jr day so no school. Now originally I had some things to do at work but it has been rescheduled until tomorrow which means it is just ss and myself today. Which generally speaking is not a problem. I do not mind ss, he is a good kid. He does hold some of his mother's entitlement and baby issues but all in all he is a good 8 year old. I am having issues with adjusting. Or with even the thought of adjusting. I do not have my own children. Call it selfish or what have you... I can only take but so much of being the care giver. I am sure the older and less dependent ss becomes the less agitated I will be.
DH doesn't get it. I usually use days like this to get my own stuff done. Like laundry, gym, reading, cleaning, lunch with the ladies, shopping, playing, and what ever else I can get into. Now don't get me wrong I get frustrated when DH isn't around nd I don't want to spend every waking moment alone or with someone for that matter. But I guess wht I m saying is... HE IS NOT MY KID!!! There I said it... I know it is not wrong. It just sounds bad! I did have the option of taking ss to the sitter we had lined up but I opted not to. I mean why spend the money when I will be home any way?
None of the neighborhood kids are home though... DH wants to go handle some stuff after work... The walls are closing in! Dramatic I know but oh so true...
There are so many things running through my head right now like: Does he(ss) think I am a horrible person because I am doing chores and not playing? Would DH think the same things? Am I being selfish? Is it really more fun at BM's?
Back to reality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least the house is clean. I am the one here. I am the exact opposite of selfish today. Who cares about BM? She up and left to sow her oats while her son needs stability and a positive role model!
Ladies, I may just be getting the hang of this... Will keep ya'll posted!
I'm in the same boat. BM left
I'm in the same boat. BM left here about 6 months ago, allegedly temporarily... but there is no indication that she will be returning any time soon.
I know how you feel. My SO isn't perfect but he generally parents his kids well and supports me on my needs in regards to them. The skids aren't perfect but they aren't terrors either, they are generally well-behaved, stay out of my hair, and listen to me.
And yet... I can't stand it sometimes. Sometimes I hide in my room, and just the sound of everyone milling about, making food or talking or watching TV or movies... makes me want to run away crying. This morning I stayed in bed until past noon - not sleeping, just not wanting to socialize. I got up when I could hear that they were gone. Maybe grocery shopping? Not sure.
I am going through the emotions now of evaluating whether this is what I want for my life, if BM does not come back. I have a situation that is better than most here and still not sure I can handle it. It makes me feel selfish and guilty, but it is what it is. I hope you fare better!
boy. i can totally relate. i
boy. i can totally relate. i have a sd6 that we have full custody of and my fiance works nights. yep. i actually went out and got a pt job to get AWAY! shes a great kid too, but its horrible feeling like a prisoner in your own home and feeling you need to entertain someone. its like being a full time babysitter and not getting paid.
finally broke down to my fiance about it last night. i should probably post about it later... anyway... trust me... you are not alone. i feel the same way. hopefully you will get somewhat adjusted... good luck!
DH and I have full custody of
DH and I have full custody of my SS7. My DH wants me to baby sitter while he goes fishing and out with the guys sometimes. I did this alot when SS was little. But I had to put my foot down because then we were doing visit and it was like me going to get my son for the weekend instead of DH because I did all the work. (I already raised my bio dauhgters they are grown.) I force DH to take over. Now thats come back to bit me in the butt. DH is way to easy now that we have SS full time and will give in all the time to SS. So now I back to being the inforcer. The good thing is I've been in my SS life so long hes not resentful. SS is really a good kid. Stability and structure. Are the number one key. There are days I still fill overwhelmed. You need me time. I finally started working out at my neices house. It has helped.
Whenever you're feeling
Whenever you're feeling overwhelmed call me.
We have full custody of 3 skids 9,11 and 14. Laundry x 3 Grocery bill x 3 Gas ,lights and water bills x 3. The 11 sd got her period the second day they were here. The 9 ss is being told by BM that I'm the devil and not to listen to me. We have to go Psychologists to deal with the damage done by the psycho BM. Less sex, because one of them is always sneaking into our bed.
Lastly, NO one says thanks for taking care of me even though you're not my MOM!!!