Funeral of person from ex wife's church/ex life's church
I know this sounds kind of weird but I'm so ready for our life to be OUR life. I've been with my DH over 6 years now, but we don't have our own church, and not many of OUR friends. We've visited plenty of churches, but DH always finds something wrong with them. Anyway, yesterday DH told me that someone from his old church died unexpectedly. Well, the person is in their 30's and has 2 kids. He tried telling me he knew her from when he taught youth group. Beings he's only 43, he would have been teaching her when he was 10 years old or so, so I know that's not really the case. This is a tiny church, where his ex wife's family basically is a major part of. You go to a service there and only about 50 attend. I've had to go a few times for when the kid's sang, etc. It's very uncomfortable. When they divorced, basically that group of people stuck with the ex because her family goes there. Anyway, he said yesterday that he wondered when the funeral would be. It sounds like he wants to go. I have no desire to go with him. I've never even heard this person's name mentioned before. It's no one he was close to. I guess if he goes, he goes without me. Is it weird for me to wish he would let that part of his life go and move on?
Confused
If he is 10 years older than she is, couldn't he have been teaching (or assistant teaching) when he was say 20 and she was 10? Happens at my church.. In any event, I understand why you are loathe to join the ex-wife's family's church. When you visit churches, does he tell you waht he doen't like about them? Surely you can find one you can both agree on.
He always finds some sort of
He always finds some sort of fault. Most of the time, it's because people aren't running up to us to get to know us right away, or basically doting all over us. I'm ok with a church as long as I'm getting something out of the message, and it's making me grow spiritually. He wants the aspect of that's the people we hang out with and do things with. So far, we haven't been able to find both of that combination. The ex's church is not even close. It's almost an hour away and it's a tiny country church basically made up of two larger families. If we would walk into a church like that near us, he would pick it apart. No one talks to us, the music isn't contemporary, etc. I just feel it's time to move on from that side of his life.
Next time
Next time, before you check out a church, call first, and see if they have a newcomers or welcoming committe, many do. If so, talk to one of them first, WITHOUT HIM, and then when you go the church, hopefully they wll be there to help break the ice.
Is there a reason your DH
Is there a reason your DH feels the need to keep attending this church because there are so many ties to his ex?? I'm baffled.
He doesn't attend there
He doesn't attend there regulary. He goes back for things when SD 18 & 16 ask him to come watch them perform or something. That's why I was kind of taken back that he was wanting to go to this funeral. He hasn't attended the church in I know of about 7 or 8 years.