SD19 trying to talk DH to move in

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I haven't posted in awhile well because....things have been going really great. Honestly, the step kiddos are growing up and not coming around much to reak havoc on the old marriage. DH takes them to dinner every week without me and that's ok with me. No fights, no nothing for us! The only thing we really would fight about is the stepkids!!! Well, after dinner this past week, DH tells me that SD19 wants to move in with us. What?!? Now if anyone has followed my blogs, this would not be good for my marriage. First of all, SD19 is not a go getter. She's lazy, dad dotes on her and does everything for her. I'm not even allowed to ask her to pick up her dirty dishes. Dad coddles her. She is not kind to me. If dad is not in the room, I will speak directly to her and she refuses to answer back. I've told DH this, but he doesn't believe me. He basically calls me a liar over even thinking she would do such a thing. I don't want to pick up her financial responsibilities. I don't want her to impede on my home. I would have to walk on egg shells not to say the wrong thing and upset DH. I see NO good coming of this. She is only moving in because her mom is parenting. Mom corrected her this week on something and SD is not used to this. All her life she's never been told no or corrected. Now all of a suddent that house is to "chaotic" to live in so she wants to move with daddy because she knows dad is the push over. She does no wrong in dad's eyes. Talking to DH does NO good because SD is PERFECT. HELP!!!!!!!!! I KNOW this would be the end of my sanity and probably our marriage.

Your husband "doesn't believe

Your husband "doesn't believe" you? and "calls you a liar" ??????? This would be the end of the marriage for me.

She acts all sweet in front

She acts all sweet in front of DH. When he's out of the room, she refused to talk to me. Last time she stayed over, she came into the room when DH was in the back using the restroom. I told her good morning and she just looked at me. I repeated it again and she flat out refused to speak to me. I later told DH how it upset me how rude she was. He immediately took up for her and said she didn't do that. I said, you weren't even there! He then lied and said I heard her tell you good morning. First of all, he can't hear me when he's in the back and IF he heard something, it was me repeating it!!! He then said, she wouldn't do that. Another time she rolled her eyes at me while he was there and saw it and argued with me that she didn't do it. It's ridiculous!!!!

If it were me, he would be

If it were me, he would be choosing her or me.You can't just live with mom...turn 19 and then move in because mom makes rules. It mind sound mean or harsh....and up until I became a step parent with a large blended family...I never thought "choose" would ever be uttered out of my mouth....but sometimes it is reality.

I can see this happening with my oldest SD, pretty much exact same as yours...she's only 16 right now. It will be a hard NO from me. If she wants to live with dad at 19....DH and SD can get their own place. I'm in living hell right now....and I refuse to let it continue as the kids become adults...nope

Film it

I had to do that with DH. He absolutely would defend a skid regardless of the evidence. Then I filmed the skid. Hard to argue while watching your child do exactly the bad behavior you've been saying is non-existent.

You know what's sad....I

You know what's sad....I think even on film he would somehow turn it around that she wasn't doing it ON PURPOSE. That's how over the top he is about thinking she's perfect. I have literally NEVER heard him say one negative thing about her in all our years together.

This is a moment when you need to tell your man

To stop defending rudeness, disrespect as it makes him no better and he is justifying unacceptable behaviour. Took me about 2-3 yrs of doing this before hubby manned up... the result is ss20 realised he couldn’t bullshit daddy anymore

My DH also thinks SD14 walks

My DH also thinks SD14 walks on water. If I do point out somethings she does sometimes and he just chuckles about it, like it's cute or something. But if my BD14 does the exact same thing, he becomes hostile about it. When he gets that way, I completely ignore him, do not make eye contact with him and don't even think about it. It's working for me.

Say NO!!! Don't get suckered in!!

Say no. You can do it without being too harsh and at the end of the day no means no. You can say no because you are truly concerned about your relationship and marriage, and remind your DH that this will not do his daughter any favors if he wants her to adult on her own one day. What do you have to lose at this point either you and DH break up becaues you say no or you let SD move in and just drag out the process of breaking up and putting more drama and fights ahead of you.

I was suckered in last fall so I am talking from experince.

Skid24 was kicked out of our house 3 years ago. Would not follow the rules, was not respectful and I finally put my foot down after the 3rd time I found drugs in our house. DH backed me up or otherwise he was out too.

Skid is not my favorite person but over time it was better between us since we were not living together. Skid wanted to move back in with us because of his financial troubles. Of course my husband was saying all the right things, that it would be different, skid has changed, and he would enforce the house rules. I agreed to 6 months and I drafted a contract, it was signed by all of us and agreed to. Skid24 moved in December 1st and not even a month went by before there were major issues:

https://www.steptalk.org/blog/grace8205/christmas-dinner-sh1t-storm-250920

https://www.steptalk.org/blog/grace8205/aftermath-christmas-dinner-sh1t-...

Needless to say every expectation and rule has been broken since he has been here except I have not found any drugs and he make sure his girlfirend is out by the said time and does not sleep over.

He does not clean his bathroom or bedroom, he eats food in his room, he doesn't follow the contract. He is still an a$$hole.

DH and I have been fighting ever since he moved in, I have lost a lot of respect for my DH and I even thought of divorce over this time.

In the contract it says it can be extended if all the parties agree. Well I do not agree to extend it. So I am counting down the says.

The rent he has paid is saved for him so he can move out at the 6 month mark. However in the contract it states that if skid borrows funds he it to pay it back on his next pay day, otherwise it will be taken out of the saved rent. Well at this point skid should have $2400 saved for first months rent and damage deposit however because he borrow money and does not pay it back he has $1604.00. My husband is away and returns Monday night, I will be discussing it with him and if he is forgiving the money that was loaned to him during his tenancy here then I will tell him that I will evict skid ASAP because no one else is following the rules so why should I.

If you let this happen you will be just as pissed off as I am. Save yourself the grief and say no and go from there.

Good luck.