Have you ever...

Forums:

...wondered if you would be 'discovered' here? I ask this because someone mentioned recently their fear of being discovered....

I know I have worried. If I were to be 'discovered' I would likely be seen as even more of a 'problem' in my husband's family, as in "How dare you?!" How dare I what? Tell the truth? Perhaps trigger you to feel shame at how you have treated me, and your own son/brother/father? (Not likely.) There are a plethora of reactions/events that could occur. Most not good.

I know I have held back on giving all the ugly details of the truth...those nasty, unhinged details that would help to identify the person or situation. I am guessing others have done the same. I would be interested in hearing the full, 'unsanitized' versions of StepTalker's experiences. I bet there is so much more than people share. I hope, if that is the case, that they are sharing with a therapist because that 'yuck' eats at one's soul.

What about the potential good though? I have to believe that some people, who have perpetrated or enabled bad behavior, have a conscience! What if our spouses/families/the ex read our words and, after their initial shock, they took them to heart and really realized the pain that they, their family, or their ex caused? Would that be a bad thing? I think not! And what about other people's situations? And StepTalker's reactions to those situations? It would be hard to read about all of the dysfunction, and the tremendous amount of pain people experience, and not realize there is a problem. One would have to be cold as ice to not 'see' it or 'feel' it. Gee, maybe it's not the stepmom or the stepdad...maybe we are the problem? Maybe we need to set things straight by making apologies, amends, and practicing changed behaviors. Healthy behaviors.

Isn't this what we wish for? People to open their eyes to their nonsense? The nonsense to stop? Resolution? As I write this, I realize that would never be likely to happen for many because it is the ingrained dysfunction that prompts us to come here and seek others to commiserate with and who understand.

I don't have to worry

SD63 isn't bright enough to find me on Steptalk.

!!!

I guess you are lucky! SD...not so much.

There is family member who deals with stepkids, I often wonder if someday she may stumble upon StepTalk when Googling for answers like I did?

I've thought about it. I feel

I've thought about it. I feel the benefits of having a place to vent and ask for advice from people who understand outweigh the risks of getting "caught." Caught listing behaviors of other people and my feelings about them. I haven't said anything on here that i haven't also said to my SO. But i try not to rant to him or harp on things, even though sometimes these things just eat away at me. Having an anonymous place to talk about it helps a lot. As a lot of you know, "normies" meaning people with no experience dating or married to a partner with kids just don't get it. Even people involved with well-adjusted skids and BMs/BDs probably wouldn't get it. I wouldn't have got it before i dealt with it.

You know.. people should "get

You know.. people should "get it". I don't think anyone in this world can truly say that they have never had interpersonal issues. That there aren't people they dislike.. or that there have not been people that have treated them unfairly. Sure, steplife has it's own unique interpersonal dynamics but I'm quite certain we all have had outside of steplife situations where in the heat of being hurt, angry, upset.. we would have said unkind things about people.. even people we might care for.. and would be horrified if they actually heard those angry words.

You can't vent to friends and family like you can a place like this.. the real fallout in your life would be too great... even if it weren't step related..

I think...

...that the important difference is they are family. Maybe not family who acts like true family, but family nonetheless. I believe that makes the dynamic so much harder.

I always tell my husband it is far easier to not say something unkind, in the heat of the moment, than it is to to eat crow and make things right. I try to pause before I reply. Sometimes I just remove myself.

In my life, i know very few

In my life, i know very few stepparents. Most people i know are married with kids. My sister is a BM married to a man without kids and some of my friends and coworkers are single parents. So maybe my pool of people is skewed. I often hear "Kids come first!" Or, "Put your feelings aside, it's the kids who are important here!"

I would never want my SO to be less of a parent or spend less time with his kids. I would also never try to make their life difficult or speak ill of their mother in front of them. I wouldn't want to be the reason they didn't get to do or have things that i think all kids should have like extracurricular activities, college education, etc. But i would also never live my life according to the whims of a woman whose goal is to "run me off." Also, i won't be disrespected in my home or tolerate what i believe to be awful behavior. I don't want to open my home to BM or to SO's family members who are "team BM."

My dad and my SO often talk about my sister's husband in what i think to be a derogatory way, as if he doesn't do enough for his skids (my niece and nephew), though he is very present and even volunteer coaches some of their sports teams. My dad actually allowed my sister's ex to live on a property he owns for free for 6 months "so his grandkids' father wouldn't be homeless." My BIL was disgusted. I stick up for him because i know what it's like to deal with skids and a dysfunctional ex. I still don't feel they truly "get it." I do wonder if i truly would understand if i hadn't put up with what i have. I hope i would.

Thoughts....

Rumple, this really made me think ---> I would never want my SO to be less of a parent or spend less time with his kids.

That is exactly what happened when I entered the picture. Not immediately, but as a last resort to stop the sick, dysfunctional nonsense. At 35 years old, OSD should know better than to call someone filthy names (especially someone she had never met), or attack their children (again, never met them), talk badly of her father (and her mother) to me, and text, message, email, and conduct phone converstions in which she is either going for the jugular (to me) or telling bald-faced lies (to her father and his family). And then there was the attempted break in.... This was all handled with kindness and grace on my part, never (not one single time) was I anything but kind as I set boundaries and standards of behavior. Anything can be said or done with love...and it was. Until I had enough. It needed to stop. Right now! One can only take so much. My husband had previously thought she would figure it out and stop, that she just needed to "assert her dominance" over me. He knew she was wrong and yes, he did call her out on it every time. But it didn't stop. Because there really were not strict enough consequences. Some people (OSD) do not understand anything other than harsh consequences (jail, restraining orders). So the decision was made to go no contact. Sadly, we have both incurred backlash from his family. Hard to believe, right? Had things not changed, I would likely have walked.

Thank you for making me think about this. After much thought, I still believe we made the right decision. Some people leave you no other alternative. I am willing to be cast as the villian to maintain my peace, sanity, and to protect my marriage. Also, food for thought...those who know what is going on, do nothing to stop it, and support the abuser instead of the abused are not my people. They simply do not matter.

No, I am not sure I would 'get it' either, if I had not gone through it or witnessed it happening to someone close to me. My husband's family knew. It became a matter of standing up for what is right, even if we stood alone. Something I have done many times, but something new to my husband. It had to be done. And I will do it every time. Full stop.

???

StepTalkers, I am truly curious. If YOU found yourself in my situation, what would YOU have done?

Same thing.

My DH and I did the same

My DH and I did the same thing. We each came into the relationship with 2 kids. We both beleived that we had to put the kids first, and everything went well (with very minor bumps) for 12 years. But then a situation came up where adult SD (she was 31) drew the family lines in an attempt to get the resolution she wanted. The rest of DH's family got involved and it was an ugly experience that almost ended our marriage. In the end, I couldn't stay in the marriage the way it was. My DH drew clear reasonable boundaries (aka "don't disrespect my wife") and his family kept leaping over them. So now we have been no contact with his family for 2-3 years (depending on the particular family member). My heart breaks for my husband. But that wasn't a situation I was going to spend my life in.

I'm so sorry this happened to

I'm so sorry this happened to you, Sadie. May I ask how old all the kids were at the time of your marriage? (My 2 were early 20's and his 2 were early 30's.) It seems so unreasonable, that afer 12 years of basically smooth sailing, that his family would turn against you. Unfortunately his family's response just adding gas to SD's fire, they should not be fueling that flame. I 100% understand your sadness for your husband, but the loss of relationships is the fault of the family member's who could not behave with common decency. He chose wisely...you comes first. Did he come to that conclusion on his own or did you have a 'come to Jesus' with him?

I realize now, that from the start, I was in a no win situation. My husband's family had the mistaken notion that they could make me step in line, but I completely stopped being a passive doormat when I got divorced...yes, it took years of hard work and therapy to get there. My circle includes strong, intelligent, and supportive women. That description does not describe the females in my husband's family; weak, snooty, non-inclusive, mean leeches that depend on men would be my description. I could have made it work, until they chose not to play nice. I guess they didn't realize there were consequences for their choices. They blame me because they don't see their son/brother/dad like they used to; that was not my choice, it was made by him because of how they treat his wife.

Yes...

...agreed. It should not have taken 2 years of nonsense. I don't think any of their behaviors will likely change...YSD, MIL, SIL, and especially OSD. They do not think they are doing anything wrong and they have the support of each other in their "big, bad Trudie" narrative. It took me awhile to get there, but I understand it is simply not my problem.

I mean, at this point, the

I mean, at this point, the "parenting" is done. When i said i wouldn't want him to be less of a parent, i meant as far as caring for his minor children. When you are dealing with adults, it's a different animal. I feel the same way about my SO's adult daughters. I have boundaries to protect my peace. ETA even with minor children, there are special cases. For example, the poster with the 15-year-old SD.

Yes!

You have summed this up accurately! Sometimes it is all about we don't know what we don't know...until it's too late.

Agreed. I, too, share with my husband. I make it brief, to the point, and move on. I know he understands because he feels my pain. I also know he does not have the power to make his family act appropriately. However, he does have the power to stand up for me and set limits, and he does.

I will admit to occasionally

I will admit to occasionally taking a bit of license with what I share and details that might be more identifiable.. but the basic scenarios are pretty true to life. I will also admit to being mindful of saying things that are outright rude or uncalled for about people in my life.. just on the outside chance lol.

Honestly.. I don't need to name call to get my point across anyway.... facts speak for themselves (even sanitized facts..haha)

???

Do you think that it's not always about what we say, but the way we say it? Even things people do not want to hear can be said with love. When his family dishes up the nonsense, I call it out. I am also guessing there is plenty that neither he nor I am privy to.

Don't get me started! There are way too many 'sanitized' facts in step life.... Haha!

I think that the way a

I think that the way a message is delivered can definitely make a difference in how it is recieved. The way people might talk here is not likely to get a good response from their loved ones. I mean, yes.. I can call things out with people I care about, but I also only really bother with people that I know are receptive.. and in steplife that is not always a given.

By sanitized I mean.. I might leave some details out that would identify someone.. or the situation too directly... not that I am necessarily changing the narrative of the story. Sometimes details matter.. but often they are not providing much context... like it doesnt matter if the argument was at Chilis.. or at red lobster.. that detail doesn't matter really.

!!!

Gotcha! I was thinking of the 'sanitized' version that some parents use when seeing/discussing their kids/families dysfunction.

Yes!

Though there is certainly risk of people IRL finding STalk, IMHO the odds of that happening are slim. People who behave as so many of our SParenting crosses to bear do, do not recognize that they do what they do and would likely not recognize themselves if they actually did face the reality of their crap if they did find our community.

Agreed, I do not think persons capable of this type of nonsense would 'see' themselves. If they had the ability to 'see', they would not be indulging in nonsense in the first place.

As much as I rant, rage, and denigrate all of them here, I never have done those things in front of my kid, or my wife. Though I do not hesitate to call out their crap, or point out to my bride and my son when the SpermLand cast pulls their crap. I just do it in a far more calm tone than I tend to adopt here.

100%

Considering that all my steps

Considering that all my steps are mostly illiterate and the BMs aren't really bright and wouldn't really be good at putting 2 and 2 together, I'm definitely not worried

I do not disclose everything but I do wait a certain amount of time after events before talking about them on here. My husband isn't really online like that so he would never know. If he did, he would probably be upset or consider it weird and tell me to get friends lol

Anyone else in the steps family would probably not take it well but they wouldn't change at all lol...these aren't the type of people who would do some sort of introspection or even consider the thought that they could have done anything wrong to me lol

Most steps and BMs view themselves as victims and abandoned and would never reflect on their actions. They paint of story of loss, abandonment, financial struggle and being treated unfairly by the stepparent and the non custodial lol...they never mention that the BMs chose to end the marriage/leave, that their dad fought years in court for some type of custody, the thousands on child support and the constant hand holding and walking on egg shells + using the stepparent as a scapegoat

!!!

This is ALL true in my experience. I see no grace, no ownership, no conscience. Traits of people I do not include in my inner circle. If encountered, I'm cordial and move on. I think that is more than they deserve, but how I act is a reflection of me...not them.

The sooner we recognize this the sooner we can come to terms with it and enact a strategy for dealing with it. Part of that strategy is venting on StepTalk. I am so thankful for all here who share, commiserate, offer an ear, offer solutions...and let's not forget the humor! After all, it's better to laugh than cry.

This place is the only one in

This place is the only one in the world that I know of where ppl have similar issues to mine. Outside of here, no one understands and it's a bunch of entitled parents or kids who are trying to put you back into your place because you are so called evil

It's also strange that our life experiences are constantly dismissed in real life and we are told to deal with it since we chose a man with kids. I always thought that my choice was the man and his children but we had multiple conversations beforehand about my expectations which ended up totally dismissed. What I learned is that ppl without children shouldn't marry/be in relationships with parents. It just doesn't work...When you say this on here, everyone understands because everyone has life experience on it, but if you say this to anyone else outside of this site, they act like you are a mean evil stuck up person who hates on single parents, specifically single moms...

There is really no one who understands outside of here

What I learned is that ppl

What I learned is that ppl without children shouldn't marry/be in relationships with parents.

Sadly, when it comes to most cases, I agree with you.
I am so jealous of my ex who once told me, "I'll never get involved with a woman with kids" (and he loves kids). I thought: You smart SOB! lol.

!!!

Yes, maybe he is smart! Or perhaps intuitive? Has he heard horror stories from friends?

I still think "Who knew adult 'kids' could be so problematic?" I sure did not!

On the flip side, my husband has never had issues with my kids. Or my family. And I will be the first one to point out that my family of origin is highly dysfunctional! They have been kind, loving, and accepting. For that, I am thankful! Our experiences have been polar opposites. I wonder if part of the reason is that he never even realized how dysfunctional his family is? At first he had no idea how to handle them, but he's learning. No, it hasn't been easy to 'see' how awful his family can be. I am thankful he is able to 'see' it and doesn't blame me because, sadly, that seems to be pretty common.

"On the flip side, my husband

"On the flip side, my husband has never had issues with my kids. Or my family."

I'm guessing you didn't use him or his family members as free babysitters for thousands of hours only to sh!t on him/them or treat him/them as "not family" when it was time for your family to do "family" things. And i bet your kids never physically attacked him or tried to shove how wonderful their biodad is down his throat. And i bet you protected him from dealing with craziness involving your ex as best you could.

Kids are kids and none is perfect but things can be done and boundaries can be set so that your spouse doesn't bear the brunt of their less than positive attributes. Or your ex's dysfunction. I find that the parents of skids on this site have very poor boundaries and don't do what they should to guard their spouses from a lot of toxic crap.

No...

...absolutely not! My kids were too old to need a babysitter, but I didn't pawn my kids off on my own family when they were little. I wanted to be a full-time mama when I was not working...I loved spending my time with them! My son and my husband work in related fields, so they talk shop a lot...also sports, gardening, etc. I am thankful they get along very well and share mutual respect. And, yes, I deal with my ex too; only one time did he speak out of line to me about my husband; I shut it down immediately and blocked him. Done deal!

I remember when my son met DH's daughter. He stood there with his hand out, smiling and she just stared and fumbled...she never did take his hand. Yes, I understand that he may be a bit intimidating because he is very tall and good-looking, but he is also friendly and charming. He was so embarassed until I told him it was her shame to bear, not his.

!!!

I hate to say it, Rags...I will never be getting approval for the "family card"...simply will never happen. Unless I became a doormat, stopped thinking for myself, and bought a broom. It's not going to happen.

My DH and I have our own exclusive "family card"!

Yes!

Agreed! People don't get it and we come off looking b----y, so it's better to keep our mouths shut.

My therapist is the only place, besides here, that I can be brutally honest. With her I let it all out! And she doesn't even mind if I cuss. After our session, I put on a smile and face the world...even the ugly part of the world that includes step nonsense.

I am beyond thankful for this site.

I'm Good

While I recently did a screen name change, it has nothing to do with a fear of "being found here." It was simply to avoid any drama. My husband and our therapist are aware of my online presence dealing with Step life issues. Therapist highly recommended I stay in my groups to be with "like minded people."

I stand by everything I say here....but it would not do one bit of good to challenge or change SKs in my world, if they read my posts/comments. It would just be a bunch of whining and crying from immature adults, defending their silliness and wasting a lot of my time. That's the drama I don't want to deal with. Truth be told, after their "last" attack years ago, I pretty much told them everything I've said here. LOL

I'm aging....my goal is peace. Life brings us all enough troubles. No need to invite more or open the door for it. That was my sole reason for changing my screen name.

That...

...all makes perfect sense!

Truth be told, after their "last" attack years ago, I pretty much told them everything I've said here. LOL <--- Sometimes I wish I could do this. In fact, my husband has told me to "unload" on his daughter. Oh, it has been tempting!!! I just can't and won't. I will not give her ammunition. (She is a master manipulator.) I'm sure I would be disappointed in myself too. No, not saying you should be disappointed in yourself...no judgement intended at all. I believe we should handle things the way we see fit. Only the individual knows their breaking point.

Agreed, close the door on trouble! I, too, am about peace, love, and inclusion.

I don't care. When I joined

I don't care. When I joined ST, I was so overwhelmed and stressed out I didn't care if "they" saw what I wrote here. Since what I write is the full truth, I would be fine with them seeing it. Knowing them, they probably (still) scour the internet for any content of mine. They wouldn't dare confront me or us about it.

BM stalked me online for years. The idiot would occasionally accidentally click "like" on an old blog of mine, then go back a few days later and unlike the post. Or maybe she wanted me to know she was watching. They also apparently saw some of my online rants years ago (interestingly enough, not under my real name) about SD's horrific cult college/waste of good money, as I was soon magically signed up for constant email promotions from the school. At one point, I had a little fun with it and put on my Pinterest page that one of my favorite books was something about how to deal with your husband's crazy ex-wife. But I soon deleted that.

I think BM and SD have done a lot more spying on me than I know. I'm almost certain SD went through documents on my computer years ago, a few of which did not speak very highly of THEM.

It's all pretty creepy when I think of it.

!!!

I don't care. When I joined ST, I was so overwhelmed and stressed out I didn't care if "they" saw what I wrote here. Since what I write is the full truth, I would be fine with them seeing it. <--- Absolutely! We don't find ourselves her because things are peachy!!!

I honestly do not know how you deal with having them in your home? Going through your computer is a gross display of yuck! Entitlement, lack of boundaries, etc. Interesting with the stalking too. They must have indentified you based on situation alone; what did your husband have to say about that?

I don't have them in my home

I don't have them in my home any longer. They were here a year and a half ago because of an emergency medical situation with DH. . . and their presence made things so much worse. It was awful. Never again.
SS had visited us sporadically through the years--maybe once a year or every other year--but his behavior grew worse as he got older, so "we" stopped inviting him and his requests went ignored for the most part. SD was blocked from our home for 7 years and then wanted a "reconciliation" visit (read: cash grab for her upcoming wedding) in 2019.
For the most part, DH has gone to see them. I never go.
DH never said much about the online stalking behavior. He knows BM is crazy.

Family think you are jumping up and down

Happy. Life for you are roses and M&M. You would not be venting to other people. Family members would not google " I hate my SK". They would not find these boards. Unless someone find some thing to give them a ideas they will never find this boards

And even if they did find it so what. It's your feelings, it's your life , maybe they will change { no}.

You...

...are straight and to the point, Harry. I like that!

Honestly

I don't think any of em around me have the curiosity. Plus they have their own things going on. If they DID find it? What are they going to say? "I read this story about jackassery and knew it was us/me."

Yes.

Right. On the other hand, how about "This has got to be Trudie! How dare she talk about us in that way! She's lying, that never happened!" And on, and on, and on. The same nonsense they spew, even though deep down they know better. Just one more reason to villainize me...or any poster here.

Would I be sorry they saw it? No. However the backlash would not be pleasant.

'Jackassery' describes it well!

To stay anonymous I do change

To stay anonymous I do change insignificant, identifying details, although SD's and BM's behaviors are so specifcially odd (and bratty) that I do think that if they were to read my blogs, they may recognize themselves.

I mean who else, 2 years post divorce, pays a moving company to come to their ex's house to pick up pieces of a trashy, extremely low-quality piano and then stores the piano pieces in their hoarded garage? Only BM.

I feel that the theraputic value I get out of having a voice is more important than the risk of "discovery." The step diablas would be embarrassed and shamed if other's could see how they behave behind closed doors and how they treat their closest family members. I doubt they would tell on me even if they recognized themselves. If they do not like what they read then they should stop acting the way they act.

We can't talk about it elsewhere because society places step-parents in the dumpster role of the wicked villian, especially step-mothers's. If a step-father ends up being a bad guy then society says it's the mother's fault for bringing the SF into the kid's lives. So basically, the blame is typically on step-mother's or mother's rather than step-fathers. SF's are more likely to be seen as financially supporting the family or are portrayed in news stories, walking step-daughter down the aisle to make up for a dead-beat dad. You won't see such portrayals of a SM.

There is a laundry list of what seems to be universally agreed upon by society, of what we are "supposed" to do invented by people that have no idea what they are talking about, and that has nothing to do with reality. The laundry list such as "love them as your own" and "kids always come first." Family members usually care about how the SK's feel but have no care whatsoever for how the step-parent is doing.

Telling my true story is my resistance to this role. It's way easier to scapegoat step-parents, especially step-mom's, than to look at the reality of family dysfunction and high-divorce rates in marriages with kids. I reject the role of SM. I am a wife, a Mother, a friend, etc but I do not consider myself to be a SM.

!!!

All true! And well stated.

I, too, do not consider myself a stepmother. At one time I was sad because I was just seen as 'Mr. Trudie's wife'. Now I am glad it is so, I do not want his kids' (or family's) behavior reflecting on me in any way. I still wonder how on earth DH came out of his family?

StepTalkers, do you consider yourself a stepmom/stepdad?

I feel like an extra adult

And I'm fine with that. I really do believe in the "it takes a village" mantra, and have no problem being an extra pair of hands if/when needed, or handling the adult issues. I'm pretty lucky in that my partner and his ex are very involved in their kids lives, the issues have been that while they are very invested, they tend to "guilt parent" too much, and my partner still clings to the idea that parenting is all instinct...and I'm sorry but humans do not run on raw instinct, that's complete and utter rubbish. He is coming around, but old habits die hard. But I'm rambling! As I said, I feel like another adult in the room, and that's just fine. Not every role in a kids life is a parent.

Yes!

I love your approach! Healthy! Friendly adult would have worked well for me.

Sadly, you are right...old habits die hard.

I reject the role of SM

I reject the role of SM

Girl THIS is the comment of the year....

I feel the same way

Nothing to do with the kids per say but their delusional bio parents who are so entitled to think SM = free nanny, chauffeur, maid, nurse, therapist, chef, human blow up doll

If I ever consider being a step mom again it's going to be how I expect or not at all.

If I have to fill all those roles for free them I'm FLAT OUT HARDCORE rejecting and refusing.

wondered if you would be

wondered if you would be 'discovered' here? I ask this because someone mentioned recently their fear of being discovered....

sh*t I would pay money for Bovine Beastly Breeder w Cavernous Crotch, Crotch Gobblins, and Delusional Disneyland Dad to find this forum and rub their nose in the info like you do a dog that effed up a sh*tted on your fine Italian white leather couches

They need to know how their crappy behavior negatively affects other people so they can improve for the better

If it came down to it, I'd tell them everything to their faces (except for the minors)

But seriously I think like others mentioned not putting real identifying details is important however at the end of the day do any of us have real privacy? Don't put anything on here you don't mind being broadcast.

Broadcast!

Good points!

You know, I think I'd be less bothered with a broadcast than with just the family seeing the posts. Gaslighting would ensue as opposed to their behavior being revealed to others. It's easy to attempt to gaslight me, whereas multiple people knowing. Also, I know people who would stand up for me and call them out. Let them sit in their discomfort and embarrassment when people discover how yucky they really are.

I'm actually surprised I would say that, but I'm overdone.

I have every reason to

I have every reason to believe that DH reads steptalk and knows that I'm Evil4. He's a very skilled IT guy and is the one who set up my email accounts, etc., so he could easily see what I've been doing. In fact, given how DH magically changes, even drastically, after some of my epic totally unfiltered posts, I know damn well he reads what I post on here. It's at the point that whenever I want change I post a blog and viola! DH changes on a dime.

I love it because I'm able to post totally unfiltered blogs knowing that DH will see it and not jump to fiercely defending SD36 since I didn't say a word to him. He would have to admit to me that he reads what I put on Steptalk.

About four or five years ago, I posted on here how I withdrew from DH, put my retirement plan into place and was looking for houses so I could relocate. I had enough and was going to serve DH in short order. Within about two days, DH came to me and said he wanted to totally change, make me happy and be my husband for the rest of his life. He had arranged for his own therapy and marital counselling and had set up appointments. I was already in therapy. I know damn well it's because DH read my blog.

I still delete my blogs though because I'm more afraid of BM or SD finding me on here and using what I say as a way to turn SS34 against me or to have SD36 pull the victim card and try to bitch and moan to DH to get him to leave me. Although, I'm very secure in knowing that DH won't choose that insane bitch over me, I would still rather not experience the drama. SD was an SM in her last relationship and is again now and I've wondered if she'd start searching for support on being an SM. Hence, I delete my blogs. Since I write totally unfiltered blogs, there are often details that would make it obvious to people who know me that it's me.

Oh my!

Evil4, you are gutsy! It is fascinating to me that you saw changed behavior...and no backlash...as a result! I love that!

I feel the need to go read your blogs....

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