Having a rough day
SD had a sport event yesterday. SO coaches and BM was there with her family. I had to sit in the same bleachers as them. As you may understand, the bleachers for t-ball are not very big. BM's family all speaks to me when she is not around. They also did yesterday until she got there. I would gladly have a working relationship with BM if she would allow but she unexplainably will not even look at me. It's just so hard. None of the kids spoke to me, but even if they did I would have been uncomfortable because I don't want to hurt BM by talking to them. I don't know whether or not to cheer for SD, with whom I have a good relationship. SS is very close to BM, SD to SO, so SS and I tolerate each other. It's just so uncomfortable sitting near people you know, but you don't speak. I don't know how to handle it. Also, BM will speak to SO in a civil manner when I am not around, but when I am around she is short and rude.
I'm left feeling very lonely and out of place today. And I don't know how to handle it.
You absolutely have a right
You absolutely have a right to speak to SS and to cheer for SD. Don't let BM dictate how YOU act. You don't have to be silenced just because she's a rude bitch. Nah... wouldn't happen in my world. NOBODY shuts me down.
Yes I remember those days of
Yes I remember those days of teeball, baseball, soccer games and being there with bm. It never bothered me too much. I found her annoying-but that's about it. She d cheer if ss did something well and yell out, "That's my boy"-of course noone there had a clue who she was as ss lived with us, I took him to all his practices and the only games she attended where if she were driving down here to pick him up for the weekend.
Mostly we were civil to one another. She acutally did try and speak to me occassionally about things with ss which I learned simply to defer her to dh-who was uusally out on the field helping out. I simply acted as if I didnt know her most of the time and did my own thing.
That does sound rough. BM
That does sound rough. BM and I don't speak, for various reasons. On the rare occassion she bothers to attend one of SS6's events it can be very awkward because of this, but I have come to the conclusion that I am not putting myself on hold for her. At sporting events I bring my own chair and sit away from where BM is sitting. At school events like SS6's up coming kindergarten graduation, I will attend but I make sure to sit away from BM. That way I can clap and cheer if I please and not have to have that aura of icy weirdness that decends when sitting around people you know but don't speak with. She ignores me, I ignore her, and the world goes round and round.
Don't let her decide how you will behave at these things. It gets old fast.
You sure do have a right to
You sure do have a right to cheer for every one of the kids on that team. Go for it. I am certain no judge would slap your SO on the hand for having someone there cheering on his child.
BM and I don't talk at games. She sits on one end of the stands, I on the other. Which is REALLY awkward because we used to speak. I will occassionally say hi, but no conversations are had anymore. I just go on as though she isn't even there.
Thanks everyone. I am just
Thanks everyone. I am just trying to find my way in this whole step situation. I just want to do the right thing. The coaches do talk to me and asked me to sign up to bring snack, which I deferred to SO. I take SD to practices on Saturdays and SO wants me to come to every practice, but I don't feel I need to be at practices. My family would come and that would probably make me feel a lot better. Even if SO's family came it would make me feel better. It's just hard to feel like you are not the problem when things like this occur even though I know that I am not. It's still a nagging feeling that comes up.
I understand. BM and I don't
I understand. BM and I don't talk. She brings her whole family to SD10's events. Then there's me, DH usually works in the Saturday games. SD wants me there, so I go for her. DH's whole family lives 10 hours away. My family would attend if I asked them to go, but frankly, it's a little game, not a major event. I would bring a comfy chair and position yourself wherever you want to be, preferably out of earshot and eyeshot of BM.
DS has been playing ball for
DS has been playing ball for 7 years. After the 1st year of t-ball, I learned how to keep the score book. There were a few other mom's on his team that drove me batty! I was able to sit in my own camp chair behind home plate. If someone was irritating me, I could politely say, "I'm sorry, I need to focus on this!" and they would leave me alone.