my answer: yes, only because he was my high school sweetheart and i have been in love with him for the past 12 years even though we have only been back together for the past 2 years. If it were anyone else, I would say no

Yes...I truly love DH and the skids aren't the real problem...it's BM. Also, the youngest is 13, so they're not little kids.

I love him more than I can say, so yes I would meet him and have the relationship. However, I would NOT have met the kids and made a commitment to him. I would have kept it as dating only until they were out of high school. Trying to make it work with the kids being so hostile was the biggest mistake of my life and is taking a huge toll on the relationship.

Well I got my youngest dd out of the marriage so I cant honestly say no I wouldnt still do it-as I wouldnt trade her for the world. But maybe I would have just done a booty call vs the whole marriage, blended family thing

I'd say yes, as I love DH and SDs. It's the BM who is the problem. She is a bully, and a horrible excuse of a parent.

Yes-I love my DH with all my heart-our relationship still has it's ups and downs, mostly due to (hell, all due to!) SD 24-I feel pretty lucky-she isn't around too much-but enough to cause havoc-DH sees this and is getting way better about dealing with her!

I love my husband very much, and even though it has been tuff with my ss... I would do it all over again!It's the bm I can't stand!!!

no.

Yes, I would do it again. I'd like to do it with the hindsight I have gained though! It really is never too late to learn, I learned a couple of lessons the hard way but common sense prevails and, as long as I am happy within myself, things keep moving along nicely. The SKids are almost of age now, it's going to be DH and I doing the things we talked a bout and dreamed about doing. The nightmares that we had with kids will be a distant memory and I have, stored away in memory, the moments that I just know we'll laugh about in years to come.

NO! I would not make the same choice if I had known better. I wish I had found this site earlier and had done extensive research. I did not have these feelings prior to marriage, and they are just getting worse. Reading most others' entries, it seems like it never really gets better. I don't dislike my skid, but I don't want to be a sm either. Heck, I don't even know if I want my own kids.

NO - NO - No....

I love my husband, but there is no way I would put myself through this kind of turmoil again. So many other men out there that don't have bitchy ex-wives and difficult children.

Hell no, I would run screaming. But, here's the kicker for me...when we met, he thought I had a lot of baggage over my over-protective family, grief of the loss of my husband and my son three years earlier. Now, we are in another court battle with BM and trying to get full custody of SS. The loss of my SD15 because of PAS with BM. His family that knows no boundaries and can't keep interfering in the issues with SD.

Now fast forward 5 years and my family is not a problem. I still grieve my son and my husband, but it is not a problem, since most of it is kept to myself. His baggage is expensive and has taken an emotional toll. Yet he is in denial that he still has any...

I often wish that I'd found the bf BEFORE he made his clingy helpless suck of a 13.5yo son with the BM. The smothering behemoth lives with us full time. Bf and I are presently at the junction of "won't make a move to stop being the enabling 'only friend in the whole wide world' to his son and stand up to be a REAL parent." I can't bear that any longer.

Would I do it all again under the conditions described above? Probably not, even though I do love and have enjoyed my man for the most part. However, living with his son full time puts my life and the enjoyment of it on hold while those two enjoy the benefits I provide without having to make even the least discomforting concessions or give anything challenging in return. Sure, they'll fix things around the house and help with chores, but neither father or son are willing to move beyond their dysfunctional mutually enmeshed relationship that was well established before they got here. That means the boy will NEVER grow up and get a life or interests of his own. I'd marry my man in a heartbeat, but I'm not going to play maid and activity director to Baby Huey for the rest of his life. I'd avoid any interaction with him were he just a random individual I'd met out in the world.

Yes, I would marry my husband and again. We have had fights angry fights and the only that kept us together was love and commitment. I truly love him, he loves me. My ss, 13 was a constant thorn in our sides, but he has been withheld by bm for over a year. Thank God for the break! My husband and I have three other happy children, my bio daughter,13, and a 2yo and newborn together. It is worth it. We will grow old together and in another twenty years it will be just us and the kids will have their own families.

I'm new here and so happy I found this place. I felt like I was the only one going through this kind of stuff and always being considered the bad guy.

To answer the question, my answer is a firm "no". The situation has sucked so much life out of me over the years, that my best friend says "I can't wait until I can say welcome back to you" because I'm no where near the same person she used to know. I'm looking forward to getting to know people here

I was only taking about this with my friend today! In one respect I have my son and without my husband he wouldn't be here. I do love him but if I could do it over again I would have walked away from the relationship when I didn't and had children/married someone without children already.

Yes. I would completely repeat my decision to be my husband. Other decisions - like raising SD like my own, I might re-think.

I really don't know. This weekend we are SD free so it is easy for me to say yes. But when she is here next weekend, I am sure I will be thinking nooooooo.

No, I would not. I was misled from the beginning, and my relationship with my exbf has negatively impacted my life in so many ways I'll never date a man with kids younger than mine. No way. Glad I didn't get married.

No, I wouldn't repeat these decisions! I love my DH but have never been able to deal with the jealousy towards my SD. She has always had an overindulgent family (BM side) who hve probably spent their whole life savings buying her love and making her feel better about her mother abandoning her. Holiday and birthdays were a ridiculous nightmare and my husband had no intenetion to discuss this with her mothers family. Didn't care what I thought about this or alot of other things. Just didn't want to be in the middle of it...well honey you have been since we started dating! Why so surprised! I have enjoyed the freedom of her BM not being around but there was also lots of resentment towards SD as she was growing up. I just honestly don't think I have it in my personality to deal with it. }:) I am surprised I have survived 20 years of knowing DH! SD is now 22, unmarried, pregnant and with a job totally beneath her IQ and potential! Disappointing! :?

No. We don't have kids together. One reason I don't jump to call it quits (besides the fact that I just plain love him) is because I'm sure most men in their 30s have kid/ex baggage anyway. Ugh...

No I think it has made me a worse parent to my bios for them being treated they way, they have been horribly treated by his daughters and the in-laws, the stress, the trauma of it all, the fights, the chaos, the financial insecurity, HELLLLLLLL NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I would. I would do some things differently though. But I have found my mate and we have been through so, so much together.
I was lucky that my skids mom was not bad at all and that DH made it clear rom the start that there was no way anyone could or would push me away. He never budged on that and he felt very secure in his love toward his kids that he did not try and make up by doing any of the things I have read here. My own daughter did suffer from a lot that we went through, and that hurts me too.
But yeah, I have been hurt, learned a lot about me and others and love in general. It's been quite a ride, never a boring moment.

yes! i love him more than i thought i could love anyone... and really, i love sd too... its not her thats the issue... its the bm.

This is a tough one for me..yes and no! I love my DH and I love my bios I got from him......Do I enjoy SD14 living with us........no - not one bit. Do I enjoy her voice, her attitude, the way she tries to put herself between DH and I, the way she talks to my daughter, or lies, cheats, steal, has sex in my home...........NO - I hate every bit of that... but I have been w/ my DH for nearly 12 years. I already have her 18th birthday present picked out. A UHAUL full of boxes.......bye bye

I honestly don't know. I am on the fence. I love him but I don't love his kids like he thinks I should. Guess thats why we have been engaged for almost a year without picking a date.

Cant say...........I wish I could say yes with all my heart but i cant. I love him and we get a long great but the choices I made in my life were the right ones for me and I feel like I am taking care of his mistakes. I know the kids are great and I do love them and care for them but it would be nice to just be us two.

If I had met him before he had kids, absolutely. If I had to do it again? No way. I was only 22 when we first met and if I had known that these skids were such a clingy pain in the ass and time and money suckers I would have run far far away.

In a heart beat. DH and SS are amazing. I deal with BM, because I love them... AND more importantly because BOTH DH and SS recognize the effort I put in to SS because BM is such an idiot. I am appreciated, and loved. Otherwise I would be out. But they make it worth it all.

Yes, because I love my husband and I can tolerate my stepsons and the ex.

But if I could go back in time, I would warn myself to tell my husband HELL NO to allowing his daughter from a stupid relationship he had as a teenager to live with us. It was one of those things that both of us knew was not going to work out, but he did it anyways and I felt like I couldn't say no. But if I had to do it over again, I would have told him to find someplace else for her to live, even foster care.

noooo

I definately would not have married my husband had I truly known what I was getting myself into. Either way I dont regret meeting him I got a beautiful son out of him but I dont think I would have married him.

Yes and No Yes because we have a beatiful daughter together and no because I can feel myself die a little more each time his ex controlls our life or his son treats him like !!!! and he just allows all of it to happen. I am really close to ending it and trying only because of our daughter,

A resounding YES here too. What? Life has to be a bed of roses, no thorns, all the time?

I would do it all over again if I could use the hindsight I have gained.

I love my husband, but today, I would say no. We are barely speaking b/c SD23 and her family have once again overstayed their welcome. She was married when I met him 3 years ago; it never ocurred to me that she'd be so high maintenance!!!

I would have kept him when I was 19 instead of letting go. That was when he met his ex and had his kids. It didn't take long for us both to figure out we were meant for each other. However he kept trying to make it work with her b/c of his kid at the time. Then he left her and was going to leave for good when they found out about ss14. He went back and he left again but then found out ss12 was on the way. I swear I think she did that on purpose. But my point is he is such a wonderful person and he tried to be a good dad, tried to make it work but he just couldn't.

It wasn't til ss12 was about 3 that he left for good. We met after he left and was in the middle of his divorce for the I think it was 3rd time. But the other times he just told me he left her but this time he had filed and in the middle of it and living with his mom> the other times he wasn't. I knew that time was for real.

Let me make it clear that we were not together during those times he left before he just sought me out to tell me. I think he really wanted me but was quilted back to her b/c of the kids. I wouldn't have anything to do with him unless he filed and moved out for good.

I did see other people I did not put my life on hold but none of them worked out for some reason or another.

I love my wife and stepdaughter so much that I would do it all over again, anytime. I do sometimes wish I could go back to the relationship I had with my now in-laws before I had met there daughter (She was still married when I first met them) but even then I still like and love them.

I can honestly say "I don't know". I love DH but this is for the birds. We are newlyweds and we don't have any time to enjoy us due to court and bm and ss. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! definitely a coin toss some days.

I'd chose him again, but I would say NO to his kids living with us.

I honestly don't know. It seems like the amount of love I have for DH (immense... THE love of my life) is inversely proportionate to how much I HATE HATE HATE being a step mom to his kids.

I want to say hell no I wouldn't do this to myself over again. But if I think about not being with DH.. not acceptable. How's that for conflicted??!

My answer is a FIRM no! We don't have any kids together but his kids make me and my child absolutely miserable any chance they get!! I was already in love with him by the time they started to show their true colors...

honestly....probably not. I love my husband but I hate that the BM will be a part of MY life forever. She is horrible!!!

Would I do it all over again with my husband? As much as my head is screaming "Hell No!" right now (thanks to his rotten ex and equally rotten kids), he is the love of my life, and despite the crap I deal with daily, HE (and our child together) is worth it....

But if I had access to a time machine, I'd go back in time to his first wedding day, to that moment he told me about where he sat on the church steps having second thoughts about what he was about to do.....I'd be the sweet young woman just passing by who stops to lend a patient listening ear, and advises him to 'listen to his gut.'

If only.....

I can't change the past, but I can decide my future. Should - God forbid - something ever happen to my DH, I would never, never, NEVER get involved with another man with children and an ex-wife!

Nope...But I couldn't see it then, and now I'm hopelessly in love. Does he make me happier than I could ever have imagined? Is he the man every woman hopes for? Yes and yes. And now I can't give that up, he's marvelous.

But one decision in his past made a huge difference. If I had known how hard this would be, what a wretch BM would be, and if I had the same chance with a man without children? NO, No, no a thousand times no, I would NOT do this again.

I have often wondered if given the chance, would I have not married my DH... I think if I knew back then what I know now, my answer would be... I would have run away when I met him. But I too feel a bit misled and such like some others. I don't have any kids and didn't want any, but the problem was most of the men in their 30's had ex-wives and kids or if they didn't have kids, they didn't have jobs or futures either... I was dating online like so many other people and stayed open to dating someone with kids... 2 was the limited though and preferably not young kids.

However, this guy was so charming and so handsome and there was just something about him... yeah, he sent me a pic of him with his 2 young kids. And my mom said, "Give him a chance." So I did and I went out with him then slowly the truth started to reveal itself and its ugly head. He had not 2 kids, but 4! And not with 1 or 2 women but 3 total! Quite frankly, he knew that if he told me all this on our first date or even on the phone before our first date that I would have rejected him and yes, I would have. But he cleverly waited until I was smitten with him.

All the BM's weren't bad, at first... but as we became more serious, they got worse. Now that we are married... they are horrible bitches! Always wanting more money. Funny... they never asked for any more money until I came into the picture and they found out how much money I make. What part about "I didn't screw these womena and get them pregnant" don't they understand? They act like my money is theirs too simply because I married the dad.

I gave up furthering my career for this situation and now I'm stuck in a job I hate... dealing with 3 ex-wives and 4 kids that I didn't want. Yeah, I'd do it all over again... NOT!!!! My fault though and now I just have to deal with it.

No. I love freedom and independence and a life with kids is suffocating and all consuming.

I would, if my dh wouldn't have come to his senses I'd probably say different but my husband learned he wasn't helping his kid he was actually hurting him by not expecting or helping him grow up. Besides, there is a good chance the evil step son may not even by my husbands but we won't go down that road.

HEll to the Naw!!!
I love my husband dearly, but this is definitly something I did not intentially sign up for. The ex wife is horrific!

Well I would never give up my beautiful daughter for anything in the world so it's complicated because if I could go back I wouldn't put myself through this emotional turmoil even though I do love my husband. I guess you can't have one without the other though!

NOT A CHANCE