help NEED Input?? BM invites us to her Oldest Son's Engament party & we are considering going. Would like to know what u think??
She sent the invitations to everyone, especially my husband's entire family.
She told my husband that everyone in our family is invited to the party in HER home.
BM doesn't have custody of SS, and it just so happens the party falls on our weekend.
Every time we associate with Bm, she ignore me, my children & our children.
SS (14) says she trying to live in peace with us, and that is why she invited all of us.
I don't think so, especially since we saw her this past week and as usual she ignored everyone.
Another thing she befriended my husband family on FB and regular puts BF & Ur the best comments all over their page. His family wasn't on speaking term with her before, but now they think she is the best.
she also buys SS affection with expensive cell phones, game systems & allowing him to do whatever he wants.
If it was up to me, no-one would go to the party, but in doing so I feel we are setting a bad example for our children.
However, I really feel the she doesn't ant me there and the invite wasn't real
Perhaps make an appearance
Perhaps make an appearance for dh's sake, keep your distance and make a graceful exit. This is IF you HAVE to go. It can't be good, she may be trying to be a good person, but it can be super uncomfortable. Hopefully it will be a grown up situation. Watch your back and keep your distance from her and her people.
I agree with ddakan......
I agree with ddakan...... make an appearance....hopefully everyone will be grown up abt it
NO it just Bm's son. DH was
NO it just Bm's son. DH was in his live for 3 yrs.
There was a time that I would
There was a time that I would have gone. But 12 years later...I would not- I think I feel a headache coming, or better I would probably call my mom and ask her to invite us to dinner.....or say she needs me.
The plan is to go for 1hr or
The plan is to go for 1hr or less, as we have somewhere to go after(not really but that's our excuess).
If there is any nonsense like ignoring or mean words it will be in and out.
Already know it is going to be Super Uncomfortable, and the only way to avoid that is not to go.
But I feel that the expectation that we am trying to show to all our kids is Love your neighbors, as yourself (still learning this). We don't consider BM a rivial(she consider us one), but despite BM's unmatuer behavior, DH & I can still behave towards her like adults.
of course this is all easier said then done. :/
I wouldnt go. You want to
I wouldnt go. You want to teach your kids to love your neighbor-I get that-but dont u also want to teach them not to tolerate rude behaviors and drama?
You said she ignores you, your kids etc everytime you see her. Isnt that going to make you and your children feel very uncomfortable? Why expose your kids to someone who has been rude to you in the past (it sounds as if she has been repeatedly rude)?
I do want my kids to learn about love for others, compassion, etc-but I also want them to learn to how to weed out negativity in their lives, learn how to think more of themselves than to allow someone to be rude to them (even passively rude by ignoring them). I do not want them to witness someone being repeatedly rude to ME and watch me continue to take it and allow it to happen. I feel like it sets up a bad example and could led them into abusive relationships.
That's just my opinion. Unless you are really dying to go or something.
I would let SS go. I would
I would let SS go. I would probably even try to trade weekends with her. But I would not want to go.
Have you talked to DH's family? If you don't want to trade weekends, if one of them is going maybe SS could go with them.
I agree, she invited everyone
I agree, she invited everyone in the world because it's all about the gift.
What's a foster?
Ah, hehe that make's much
Ah, hehe that make's much more sense. Even better, here's a link where you can make some pretty awesome looking personalized coasters for next to nothing. http://www.homemademamas.net/2010/09/cutie-coasters.html
wait soo... this step son
wait soo... this step son whose party it is is nto even your husband's child? does he have any biological kids with this lady (like reason to keep the peace and havign to continuously deal with her?) sorry i am confused
What I got from the post is
What I got from the post is SS is DH's and BM's kid together. BM has an older son that is SS's half-brother who is having the party. So the kid having the party is no relation to DH, but is related to his kid.
It can be hard to keep it all straight.
I don't have these situations
I don't have these situations with BM, but I am expected to show up and praise and honor SD24/holy uterus/baby maker every time she comes to town. For many reasons, his adult children are not invited to my house, so these events are at either DH's sister's house or his mother's house. I do my best to get out of it, but sometimes I can't. We go in separate vehicles, I stay about an hour (or less if I'm so inclined),and then I leave. I used to feel compelled to make an excuse to leave. But, now I just say my "goodbyes" to everyone and head out the door. I no longer "fake it 'til I make it" with this group. Being as DH and I go separately, he can stay for the drama as long as he wants. Personally, I have a life and do not need any of SD's crap.
So we Went to the Party. BM &
So we Went to the Party.
BM & her Oldest Son's greeted all of us with hugs, which I didn't expect & kind of backed away from...lol.
We arrived close to the end of the party, so the time went by fast. Most of DH's family was there, so we easily found a place next to them, although the guests remained very nice to us.
My SS was so happy to see everyone in his family playing so nicely with each other.