WTF? What would your compromise be? Let him have exactly what he wants, and put the hamper in his room? That doesn't sound like a compromise to me!! It sounds like you are already compromising!! The kid is 12, he could do his own damn laundry!! Geeze. I can't believe your DH would say that to you. Especially in front of SS!

We have that problem in our house. The hamper is right in front of them, and they throw it on the floor in front of the hamper -- apparently it's too difficult to make it INTO the hamper. Our skids do their own laundry. They used to just throw it into the laundry room and I would come home to a mountain every day and I thought that was ridiculous --- so I taught them all how to do their own laundry. They now all do their own. If they put it in the laundry room and leave their laundry there -- it gets thrown back in their room, or in the garage. I don't do their laundry anymore! Enough is enough! I'd teach the boy how to do his own laundry. I'd stop doing his laundry -- that'd be my compromise.

Unbelieveable! Lazy little ingrate!! He'd be doing his own laundry at my house! Ours do their own, I just do laundry for DH and I and the linens.
SD would, however, sneak a couple of items in the machine when I was doing laundry. There's a button to push to pause it and open the lid...cheeky or what?
One of my pet gripes was putting the machine on a full cycle for ONE ITEM!
Once they all have their own places to run they'll see how it goes with paying bills etc...LOL

Why do the biological fathers always want you to compromise? Please if that laundry basket was right beside him it would end up on the floor. My SS16 has two laundry baskets and there is not one piece of landry in them. All his nasty clothes pile up in the closet. His room smells horrible. If my husband tells me one more time to compromise he won't like just how far I got..lol

I would say something like, "Compromise is necessary when two people are sharing a task. However, I am doing SS a FAVOR. Therefore, he will do it my way, or he will do his own damn laundry. For that matter, DH, you get to do your own laundry too."

I have the skids put their dirty laundry in the bathroom linen closet in the bathroom CONNECTED TO THEIR ROOM. Which makes sense since they only ever change when we force them to take a shower. This weekend they asked me if they could please have a hamper for their room because their clothes are never clean. Um excuse me? I didn't realize we were your maids and you didn't know where the laundry room was. Sorry Princess!

I'm a slob, so the hamper issue does not exist for me.

HOWEVER, what your DH did was INEXCUSABLE. Making you look like a bad guy in front of SS? Not backing you up in a perfectly reasonable request? Defending SS in his ridiculous excuse? Bad.news.

We have hampers in each bedroom, shared by a BS and a SS. My rules for laundry are: 1. I don't wash anything not in the hamper. 2. I don't check pockets or remove belts. 3. I briefly fold and put in a stack, I don't put away anyone's clothing but my own. I do laundry every day anyway, adding in the little bit from FSS's on the weekend hasn't changed how much I do. In fact, since BM only does laundry every few weeks, we've offered to have the boys bring their dirty clothes here on the weekends. BM refused, said sending clothes was like putting them into a black hole, but it did get her starting to do laundry more frequently .

Definitely make DH be a slave to his spawn since he wants his brat to have room service.

It's that or get a harness fitted to SS so you can literally strap a laundry basket to him.

In other news, GG (biodad I live with) simply throws his dirty clothes on the floor. Yeah I pick them up but I will not wash his jeans until he presents them to me for washing.