How much would you spend(total) on a 7 year olds birthday?
Price including throwing a gathering with friends (taking them to eat pizza, to trampoline place, getting a cake, etc), gifts and also taking him to dinner to his favorite restaurant with family. If I add up what my SO spent on my SS's birthday (including festivities and gifts) we are talking hundreds of dollars (taking his friends out + going out to eat multiple times where he wants with different people+ buying him a brnd new video game set+ buying him new shoes and new clothes = approx over $500) This isn't including the 150 watch his ex bought the 7 year old or the 100 a tickets MLB baseball game he is attending with him. Is this a little excessive for a 7 year old? He acts entitled and spoiled and isn't the best behaved kid. He throws tanturms regularly if he doesnt get his way and tries to control adults by interferring with their conversaitons and decisions. He doesnt pick up after himself when he eats, doesnt listen when told to do something the first time and makes a mess for his mom or dad to clean up. He is rude and controlling regularly and throws tantrums suitable for a 3 year old.
Since he acts like a 3yo,
Since he acts like a 3yo, probably $50, clothes and small toy. That's being generous.
I guess the way to address it
I guess the way to address it is, "SS, what do you want to do for your birthday this year? A family dinner? Dinner with your two best friends? Or do you want to go to a baseball game with your dad?" Set the limit when you ask the question. If he says he wants to do it all, tell him to pick one this year and he can do another activity next year. Kids need limits. They need to understand there is a limit.
If it's your husband driving the excessive spending, say, "Husband, what do you want to do for SS's birthday this year: a family dinner? Or do you want to let him take two friends to Chuck E CHeese? Or do you two want to go to a baseball game? I'll arrange it. Just let me know what to plan." PERIOD.
Add in a $50 gift and that's more than enough.
My husband used to get SD's gift list for every occasion. Sometimes the gifts for ridiculousy expensive. I told him I thought it was a little much for her to request a $500 gift. Since then we agreed nothing more than $200. I don't know what he gets her now because I have nothing to do with her, but I think he sticks to that because I don't think he knew "how" to set a reasonable limit with her.
When SS is older and asks for a $500 gift, suggest your husband give him a check for $200 toward what SS wants. It's important for kids to know there is a limit to funds and a limit to what you'll give them. If you don't stop it now, it will only get more costly down the pike.
$25 plus a few pizzas and a
$25 plus a few pizzas and a cake.
For his daughter's 6th
For his daughter's 6th birthday, my SO spent a fortune (and, I'll admit it, I was all in). We had a party for her friends and our and BM's families as well as some adult friends. He rented a bounce house and we had cake, snacks, beverages and pizza. We bought party games for the kids and decorations. She got a token gift from us, as we were paying for a big party and we knew she'd get plenty of gifts from others. All in we probably spent close to $500, and it was more than we should have spent. At least the birthday girl was grateful - she thanked us profusely and told us over and over what a wonderful time she had and that it was her best birthday ever. I guess that makes me feel a little better about dropping so much money on a party for a 6 year old.
For me it isn't about how
For me it isn't about how much. It is about what is appropriate for the Skid's behavior. Some times we rolled out the red carpet for SS, other times he got little to nothing. It was all dependent on his behavior.
As for a 7yo getting a watch... that watch won't be around long. 7yo's will lose a watch nearly instantly.
I'm with Rags. Entirely
I'm with Rags. Entirely dependent on their behaviour. Last year, SD turned 6 and we took her and a few friends out for pizza/cake, and gave her about $100 worth of presents. This year, she'll get dinner/cake at home, no friends, and a gift worth maybe $20-$30. Unfortunately for the past year, she's been refusing to do ANY chores including cleaning her room. We've tried various consequences and even a couple rewards were offered but nothing gets through to her so she's getting the minimum.
Less than 100( we set a budget!)
Going out to eat( or favorite food at home)+ a sweet treat of choice. Some presents. family activities he enjoys free or paid ( ss12 and ss7 only see eachother eowe so we prefer having family time).
He is 7 no lavish parties required.
This year we went out to all u can eat pizza followed by 30 dollars spent on candy of choice at a giant bulk candy store. Then we went on a hike with the dogs(dh very outdoorsy so this is a fave activity for both Ss) in a favorite park. Ss7 loves ducks and there is a pond there where you can feed the ducks! We watched the new puppy chase the ducks! At home we had a present( ss7 loves army men -a large bucket filled with army men!) Dinner of fave food And Ice cream+cake+movies with mil. Ss7 got a dessert treat he'd been eyeing for awhile( $7 dollar cupcake with gummi bears and fudge filled lol). Mil bought him new pjs and bedsheets.( also in favorite color with favorite characters on them)
He had a great time! Went to bed happily playing with his army men!
We are activity heavy instead of getting the ss a bunch of stuff! We think that him having us lovingly focus on him and his fave things to do trumps anything material we could give( exclusive of needs of course)
Note: The first year I was dating DH the birthday for SS12(then 8 i think) happened on payday. DH spent his entire paycheck on whatever SS wanted. These festivities lasted a whole weekend! Ss would point DH would buy!(It was scarier than the twilight zone!). When DH moved in with me we set budgets for various things including birthdays , holidays and special occasions to make sure we have enough. Both SSs have had separate parties with the BMs. Ss7s Bm does not invite us to hers we don't mention ours. Ss13s BM has invited us to hers and she has been to ours(alternate years).