I at times really miss being part of a first family. I hate the division and secretcy that my DH maintains with his kid. When we first got together I had high hopes to be a happy family, I know now that was so delusional. I am so seeing that it is my DH that is most of the problem with the situation, his way of handling things or most of the time lack of handling things. Don't get me wrong it does not excuse 21 yo skid completely, but he cannot take total blame, his Dad never does anything to make the situation better. He actually makes it worse with his lies, secrets and defensiveness.

Latley I have taken the odd extra day off from work since I am owed 91 hours of overtime. DH said he would only work partial day and then we would go out on the motorcycles since it is record breaking weather in our area. Last night he told me not to make him a lunch, he said something about him leaving early enough that he will just have something when he comes home. This morning I take him to the dealership to pick up his new company car before I had to meet a buyer for my mother's condo. He told me that he has a conference call and will need to be a work later than planned. Ok no problem. 10:30 am I text him and ask him if he wants to go for lunch together, or if he is too busy I would could bring lunch to him. Took him over an hour to get back to me. This is a man that carries his phone everywhere and checks it non stop. I figured he read the pre-view and saw I asked him to lunch but never opened it to show it was read until he figured out what to do. He finally texted back and said he was going to lunch with skid and told me where and if I wanted to meet there in 15 minutes I could join them. I was able to make it, at first I thought I would pass (I am sure he was hoping that I would) and I said ok. I find out these plans were made days ago. Skid was way nicer than usual to me so I was just as pleasant back. But DH felt awkward the whole time. I did find out that by skid's conversation that the lunch date was set up days ago.

It bugs me the stupid lies and deception from my DH. There is a bunch of little things and some bigger things when it comes to his son that he lies or keeps secret and it just pisses me off. Approaching DH on this is pointless, he does not own his shit, more lies and excuses. Since being in a blended family I never feel like I am truly part of a team. I know I could not stay married to a psychopath, but I never felt like an outsider within my own home and family.

If I knew that I know now I would have saved myself the heartbreak and grief.