The last few weeks I thought hard about my rs with SO. He indicated last valentines day that he would like to "put a ring on my finger" next year, so I suppose I know he thinks about marriage, engagement etc .
It started me thinking- I didn't really say a lot back then when it came up.
I feel so bad when his daughter SD 8 is here- half of my life is not the same- I suffer some anxiety, tummy problems and frequent migraines.He tried to treat her less than a mini wife but when it comes to the "crunch" eg if someone even the slightest has to criticize his offspring he freaks out and gets super defensive- often on my cost. By now I can't stand the situation anymore and long for someone who treats me always like his first and only wife , not only 50% and if I am "well behaved" and keep my mouth closed.Am I selfish? I think I actually am- I am 43 and have three beloved kids on my own- the negativity that I experience about SD is something I am not used to and don't want to get used to.
She is not really a naughty child but has a huge mouth, a princess attitude and is totally depended on Dadaaa.
Dadda is not coming across very sexy in general when he behaves like a overprotective chicken mother around SD.If he would behave like a normal father and man, I doubt I would feel threatened by SD.
Now we will have SD 3 weeks in a row this month and the thought about that is making me so upset.I really don't know what to do. To tell you the truth- when my kids are here (I have them thanks god 70% off the time)I feel ok , but having only her here for a few days , hanging all over daddddaaaa and every minute trying to get his attention, makes me feel like a prisoner.
The worst is that I can't speak to SO about anything or he will be insulted or give me the shits about me feeling like that and daring to say something.
I am aware it is not good .I maybe face a break up with SO in the future.
SO intends to get loud when we have conflicts and he suggested a while ago to find a councellor which I wanted him to do.I also told him that this time I really needed him to do that step for us.Guess what , he never even followed it up.