I think theres a mini wife forming- eeek!
So I have read numerous posts of mini wives and to say the least it frustrated me reading it on the posters behalf...however it did give me the signs to watch out for, and sadly I am seeing them now. SD6 since Christmas has been following DH around the house like his shadow, she has to sit next to him at dinner, moving her sister SD3 out of the way for his attention, she has to show daddeeeeee everything she does, even finishing her cereal, she has started hovering outside the bathroom when he goes toilet, when in the shower all you can hear is daddeeee, if we are in our bedroom talking same thing and then walks straight in plus when she talks over our conversation, DH responds to her and forgets we were even having a conversation. What gets me the most is that DH and SD6 sit on the sofa in our seat, under MY blanket all cuddled up together, I cant even hide my disgust anymore :sick: . And to make it worse, SD3 is left out ALL the time until I come to spend time with her.
The older SD6 is getting, the more I am noticing her manipulative side. She loves the fact her younger sister can’t speak as load/clear as her, so when DH says ‘who wants to choose a dvd’ (example) shes like ME! And then he allows it ALL the time!what she wants she gets, as SD3 was a difficult baby/toddler SD6 was praised to be the golden child and its stuck, which is not right.
Ive spoken to him about it in regards to ignoring SD3, but hes like ‘she doesn’t want to come cuddle’ and I explain that you make it impossible for her to come into the ‘love nest’ and it makes me uncomfortable so imagine how she feels. So he said he will try, that was weeks ago.
I just find it weird how I just get completely dropped when SD6 is around. I find that she has a lot of adult status in MY house with DH and I don’t want to end up how some of the posters SD’s have ended up.He's very vocal if I do something with them he feels left out of my attention, so he can ignore and replace me but I cant not give him my full attention for half a day, even though the only reason I am doing anything with them is to keep them quiet! Any advice??
She's only 6. Put your foot
She's only 6. Put your foot down NOW. I've read about posters who have their DH and teenage daughters acting this way!!! GROSS!
^^^THIS. But it has to come
^^^THIS. But it has to come from her daddddeeeeeee. He needs to give both of them equal attention and affection, all while putting you first.
SD14 was 12 when I came into hers and her dad's life. She was babied, coddled, given way too much control and power and thought her dad was HERS and HERS forever. It was bad. They only get worse until dad steps in and puts them back down to CHILD status.
Besides, he's not treating the two of them fairly at all!
Sounds just like my
Sounds just like my SD13...rude, mean, and socially unacceptable and thinks she is perfectly fine in doing so because she has been treated as a golden child by her family.
Oh no!! but how do I raise
Oh no!! but how do I raise this again with DH without sounding like a crazy insecure person?
Unfortunately society has put
Unfortunately society has put into people's heads that SM's are jealous devil monsters and that the stepkid is always the victim so anything coming from you is going to make you sound bad...this is the case in my situation. Anytime I have brought up anything about DH and SD13 being inappropriate physically or how she acts is immature or unacceptable...I am told I am jealous or/and that she is "just a little girl" or that BM left and that is why she acts and that makes it acceptable....she gets and does whatever she wants because she OWNS the adults in her life...plain and simple.
thank you for all your
thank you for all your stories and advice. I really hope he can sort it out once and for all. It makes me just not want to be around them at all and have an even shorter fuse with DH when they visit. I hate their visits as it is. They are not bad kids but I just cant stand all the drama, politics and general bull sh*t that comes with them.its going to be hilarious seeing SD6 when me and DH start our own family in the future!
Make rules that forces
Make rules that forces fairness
a) one kid picks the movie, the other sits with dad. switch the next time
b) no one is allowed to stand outside the restroom - unless you only have
1 bathroom and a line is formed.
c) you sit by DH at all meals - period. SD's may rotate sitting on the
other side.
I love the idea of kids not being allowed in master bedroom!!
As much as it may irk you, try taking SD6 away from DH when you have to do a boring errand - like grocery shopping. This would force DH to spend some quality time with SD3. Plus, it gives SD6 time around just you where she can learn to model your behavior.
And on the evil side - it will drive her nuts that SD3 gets some special time that she doesn't.