"I wish you were my mom"
Hi I'm new to this site. My bf and I have been together for almost 2 years. We got together a couple of months after his ex filed for divorce. I was with him throughout the divorce and his whole family loves me for him. The ex was the typical psycho b*#!ch. They have 2 adult children who are very civil with me and are both happy for their dad. They have a 7yr old daughter who is so attached to their dad. He gets to see her every other weekend and thues and thurs for 3hrs after school. She's a bit bratty but my bf has her under control when she's with him. We get along real well. His daughter likes me. She likes me too much she calls me almost everyday behind her mom's back, she makes me cards, she tells me she loves me and told me she wishes I were her mom. As young as she is, she knows the situation between her mom and dad. She knows her mom hates me and even tells me everytime her mom asks her about me she just tells her mom she doesnt know and not to talk to her about me.
I've read a lot of posts about stepkids from hell and I'm wondering if my bf's daughter is for real or too good to be true? Ive been married once but no kids. I'm a lawyer and I'm not so worried about the legal issues as I am about the emotional baggage this little girl could bring.
My Skids are loyal to their
My Skids are loyal to their BM, but they'll both tell you I'm their Mommy. Her putting her in the middle by asking questions makes it hard, when you give her a break from that and she loves you for it.
that little 7-YO gal sounds
that little 7-YO gal sounds VERY smart, intuitive, aware, and independent-thinking. Strong-willed maybe? She doesn't seem to have sucked into TMs opinions of things with you and keeps her own opinions. If you've known her for 2 years - she's probably for real hehe! Count your blessings, you are lucky in many ways. Unlesssss, she is for some reasons just telling you what you wanted to hear, lying, vying you on her side, being something of a manipulator? Either way, she sounds VERY smart - caution there.
The one thing that comes to mind in what you write (and this is what my counselor told me) is that every chance you get, edify TM, or praise her, support her, make sure she has gifts/cards for her at appropriate occasions, etc every chance you get. Just to support the love she does have for her mom equally as she does for you.
Thats why I was thinking if
Thats why I was thinking if she's too good to be true. I dont think she's saying those things to manipulate me. She sounds so candid like most kids are. But it surprises me and my bf why the kid opens up to me about her BM and not to him. Is it like what Smomof3 said, i give her a break from the tug of war between her parents? I never mention her BM to her unless she does. In fact, when she tells me not so good stuff about her BM, I try to make an excuse for her. Once i was putting on make up, and she tells me why am i taking so long her mom never purs on make up. I told her your mom doesnt need make up. I was being sarcastic when i said that. The kid said I was being mean to her mom. I told her I meant she doesnt need one because pretty girls dont need make up. She made a face and said my mom's not pretty. I wanted to laugh!
Well actually, thats her good
Well actually, thats her good side. Like I said she's a bit bratty too, clings to her dad, and sometimes acts too much like a grown up. Typical for kids I guess. Or maybe not. Maybe its BM's genes coming out...
Btw, if BM knew her little girl told me she wishes I were her mom, she'd flip over. That would be the best pay back ever!