Hello I am new to this site and let me tell you I am glad I found it. I have needed something like this for years. It has been a struggle for years being a SM amd dealing with the whole "baby mam drama" issue. I have a issue that I don't really know how to handle and I was hoping that some of the vets in this whole SM skids BM situation could help me. I just want to begin by giving a little bit of a back ground on my situation and then I will get to the point. My DH and I have known each other for 14 years but have been together for going on 13 years and we have seven children (we have 3 that we had together I have 1 from a previuos relationship and he has three from a previous relationship). I have been though it all the issues from DH respecting BM and skids feelings over mine and our children. The inapporiate convos with BM and longs hours coming back from picking up the children . The fights with BM to see the children. Seeing and hearing BM telling skids to disregarding what I say and basically just her telling my skids to disrespect me. Fighting to get my DH to see that he must respect me and our marriage over anything and stand up for himself, his and his kids rights to have a relationship without interference. Well the issue that is going on now and I guess it has been going on for years now is the inconsistency of the my skids feelings for me. Sometimes it seems true and other times it seems fake. I just thought by now we were better than that. I have taken them in my heart and treat them as my own children. I don't look at them any differently. I don't want to take the place of their BM but I just thought by now our relationship had reached a point that we were better than that. I know it is probabky their BM's interference and I know how hard it must be for them but I guess I was hoping that out of this whole crazy mess that our relationship (skids and mine) had gotten better. I have known them since and been in their lives since they were in dispers so I justt thought we had a bond. Now that I see differently and I know that it is probably not going to change how do I let go. When I love someone especially my family it is hard for me to just love them from a distance not talk to them check on them see them. It is either all or nothing. When I say I am going love you from a distance its not like I still love you say with all of me but it is I wish you well and you be cool no hard feelings but the real love I had for you is no longer there and I wish you the best but it is not love. I hope I explaining myself right. I guess what I am saying is over my life time I have not developed a middle ground its I either love you or I don't. Wish is fine if you don't want or except my love for whatever reason your loss not mine. They are children and they are just being loyal to their mom and I except that but I just can't do it anymore. But I don't know how to let go it hurts. I am just clueless on this one......