If you could have seen into the future.
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If you could have seen into the future when you first met your significant other, would you have run a mile? If I had seen how things were going to be I would certainly ran as fast as my little legs could carry me. I put up with Guilt parenting from Daddy, an evil Bm and many other things, my relationship is hanging by a thread, so what would you have done?
To be fair my DH was really
To be fair my DH was really upfront about his life straight away.... It was almost like... Hi, I'm X , I'm divorced with 2 kids, etc..... Lol !!
I think if I had known the years ahead, I would not have continued on, also, I WISH like HELL, I could have found ST years ago !! I spent too many times silent, or trying to be !! AND questioning myself, as if it was all MY fault !!!
I knew DH's parenting was lacking, all the signs were there and my instincts WERE always right..... Should have nipped it all in the bud, as now I have disengaged, but DH still hangs onto the hope and wears a blindfold !!! We will be entering a whole new ball game this time next year, which could make or break this marriage, if DH is not careful.....
First reaction: RUN! But I do
First reaction: RUN! But I do realize that the harder I work at something, I more I value it. And I've worked very hard at being a stepmom & 2nd wife. But its not for the weak or those thinking: Getting married w/skids is easy.
I wouldn't change it. Things
I wouldn't change it. Things get challenging, and I get upset and frustrated often. But I love that man with all of my heart. I know he really does try and he knows I do the same. We do the best we can for each other and all of our kids combined. We chose this family and I love it.
I would have run...I'd
I would have run...I'd actually be a f%#$%ing millionaire and retired by now!!! sigh
With that said, at least my DH has finally got it. On our visit to his crappy family last weekend, his sister told him about some guy she liked...he has a 5yr old daughter...she asked my husband what he thought...my HUSBAND's advice to her? "RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN...he has a kid and an ex-wife and they WILL make your life a living hell! I wouldn't wish what my wife has been through on my worst enemy." She was SHOCKED! lol I just smiled. He finally gets it.
I would have married him.
I would have married him. I'm crazy about him but these are the things I would have done different:
I would not have married him until SS16 was out of the house.
I would not have married him until he had more closier with BM. (He was still talking to her EVERYday and they would talk about things unrelated to SS. He would also have family dinners with her).
I would not have moved into the house that him, BM and SS shared. I also would have made DH box up everything that him and BM owned and get it OUT of the house.
I would not have moved to the neighborhood/community that he shared with BM. I would have insisted that we buy a house 30 minutes or more away.
Now, that I have settled on these things DH won't budge an inch. Well, except for him talking to her everyday. That is where I draw the line.
honestly since sd was only
honestly since sd was only 12, i would not have stayed if i had known the shitstorm that was in my future. 6 years would have seemed way too long to put up with her garbage, that still continues past 18, but on a somewhat lesser level. at least i don't have to see her every day.
i'm glad i did stay, though. her stupid ass is out on her own and i have a beautiful 4 year old son to show for what i put up with for this relationship.
If I could have seen the
If I could have seen the future, I think I would have been way more verbal early on about the goings on when it came to treatment of me, my kids vs his kids (and the rules/expectations for my kids and lack thereof for his), and boundaries with the BM. I made the mistake of keeping quiet, hoping things would change for the better. Silly, silly me.
Having said that, then it probably would have been a question of whether DH would have still wanted to marry ME or RUN the other way.
I love him now, I loved him
I love him now, I loved him then. But if anyone had shown me a vision of the future, I would have run away screaming in horror. No man is worth the hassle I have had over the last decade.
Holy christ on a cracker, I
Holy christ on a cracker, I would have run like hell if I had known how bad things were really going to get. Well, thats not true, I would have taken my dad's advice and "just used DH for sex", lol - disturbing I know. My dad doesn't have a filter - he says whatever he thinks and didn't think DH was marraige material. Sex is the only thing DH and I really have that continued to be good. Once in a while, when he wasn't traveling for work, drunk, or fighting with BM, we had a great time just hanging around the house together, walking the dogs, playing with DD3, and we had a blast on the vacations we went on together. I think if I could have kept things much more separate - our little family with just DH and DD3 - we might have made it. Well, no we wouldn't have. DH's drinking and his "separate decisions" with BM would never have been okay. It took a full year to get him to understand that she has no right to ask for private financial and other decisions with him that affect me. Nor is it okay to have him remodel the home she still lives in, fix things for her, or babysit. We are not in a polygamous marriage.
I would have run from now DW,
I would have run from now DW, if I knew then what I know now. Love her dearly, but what a struggle.
I'd be on easy street and living pretty much care-free, except for worrying about what lazy-ass BM pulls with my bios.
I love my dh dearly, but I
I love my dh dearly, but I would have waited until the kids were all grown. Dunno if we could have stuck it out for that long, but after nights like last night, I really wish that I had hit the brakes.
I would have married DH, but
I would have married DH, but I would have said "NO" to the skid living with us. Also, I would have kept my money separate from DH's money, until he was finished paying spawn support to the cow. Our bios would not have gone without or gotten less, just because their dad screwed his life up 10 years earlier. I hated that those effing skids always came first financially.
Thats how I feel, but we've
Thats how I feel, but we've just split up, more terrible behaviour from Sd6, he just dos'nt get it.
I probably would have still
I probably would have still married him, but I would have sued the pants of BM when she filed papers against me with CYS. False abuse allegations. It's too late to do anything now. I would never have let that just go. I think that may have changed the whole dynamic of the relationship.
I was about to say yes, I
I was about to say yes, I would still be with SO, just with implementing different tactics early on...but then my mind wandered and I could not conjure up in my wildest imagination a world in which SD was likeable. Hmmm. Put me down for a "maybe".