Im sick of hearing ``you`re such a good person for taking all this on`` about DH and skids......
Forums:
And don`t even get me started about the looks of pity. Like ``OMG is her life over or what!`` You can only imagine what people do when they find out DH and I arent having our own kids!!! Is anyone else going through this...anyone else with a DH and skids and NOT having biological kids. Am I weird....I start to think I`m crazy after all the comments from other people. Its bad enough that people learn im 32 and dont want kids and they start saying why and what`s wrong with you. HELP!
They're certainly crossing a
They're certainly crossing a line as someone said above. I think you're best answer is to ignore the question or comment by changing the subject - back to the step kids for instance.
Everyone has given such
Everyone has given such amazing feedback..I am so glad to have found this site! I don't feel alone anymore! COncubine your comment hit home because this is exactly how I feel right now. People are starting to just view us as a family and BM is a total trainwreck and I really hope with all my heart that the kids wont follow in her footsteps in that regard! I care very much about them and want to be a positive role model in any way I can. Thank you so much
I had my only child as a teen
I had my only child as a teen and she is 22 now. I have been questioned for years about why I won't have ANOTHER child and I'm like "damn, is 1 not enough to contribute to the world? Someone is having 10 so they've done more than enough to take up my slack. Lol" I am married to a man with NO bio kids but is the Father to an 8 yr old boy -who's a different race and was born of an affair during his marriage. So imagine the "He's a Saint!" OR "why don't you give him a child so he can leave that one alone?" OR "you are crazy to be with him!" that I hear. LOL
I find it all rather funny vs offensive. People will always question anything that's not America's narrow idea of what a family or happiness means :Husband, Wife, 2 Kids, a dog, cat and goldfish and the SUV. Any choice outside that realm is subject to a question or undue praise or undue critique. Must choose what works for us (and what doesn't, hence this board, lol) and not worry about what others say. If you do, prepare to be pissed your whole life b/c after kid have passed, they'll start asking other things. Lol Smile and nod...smile and nod.
My best friend tried to tell
My best friend tried to tell me once she understood what I was going through as she had been a step-child. I advised her in no uncertain terms that being a step-child is completely different to being a step-parent (being both I reckon I have good knowledge). she quickly apologised and never raised the issue again.
Never ever ever wanted
Never ever ever wanted children. In the early days with DH I thought I could do all nice children stuff without any of the hassle (pick and choose what I did, so him having a child wouldn't be too bad.
Ah! In reality I get all of the horrible children stuff with ALL of the hassle. I'm trying to disengage.
Even I did want kids watching DH as a parent would put me off ever putting another child though that, we have such different ideas about kids stuff.
I hear that all the time,
I hear that all the time, espcially since my SS is terminally ill. It drives me crazy sometimes! I didn't get into a relationship for peoples pitty. I did it because I love DH.
As far as having bio kids, I never really thought about it before, and DH had a vasectomy before we even met so it was a very short discussion, I've known from the start it's not an option with him. My friends think I'm crazy for 'giving up' biokids for him, but don't get that I am fine with it, obviously I wouldn't have gotten serious with him otherwise. There is nothing wrong with us, not everyone wants to have babies.
MY DH HAS A VASECTOMY AS
MY DH HAS A VASECTOMY AS WELL! I know..its like..end of story people! lol...what do you want me to do..go out and have somebody elses baby? geez!~
There is nothing wrong with
There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. I knew at 17 that I did not want kids and I have never regretted not having any.
A few of my friends opted to
A few of my friends opted to not bring children into this world. Their choice....and no I don't think they're weird.
my skid is autistic. and a
my skid is autistic. and a royal pain in the fucking ass. husband is lazy when it comes to skids care. ignored autism up until I came into the picture. now i'm stuck cleaning up what he and his parents and whole family basically ignored for NINE FUCKING YEARS. i hear all the time how i'm a SAINT for taking this on. Maybe I am. BUT I love hubby, and wanted to be with him. I don't want the kid, never did, but i'm stuck with him so i make the best of it. Take the good with the bad. biomom is a drug addicted living-on-the-dole loser so i can't get him shipped off to her! there is no way in holy hell i'd take a chance having another bio child (with hubby) KNOWING how messed up and how many issues his bio kid has. they could have come from him, you never know. autism has a genetic link. couldn't deal with another kid like that. I am 40 and have 2 of my own neurotypical bio kids. they are a handful as well, i'm not saying skid is the only problem in the house, but he really is a heavy, heavy cross to bear!
Do what is right for YOU. heard a quote recently: "The more you like your choices, the less you need others to like them".....do what'd good for you my friend!