Ive been with my husband for 18 years now, married for 15.  I have 2 SD's, ages 22 and 25.  I heavily particated in their lives growing up and honestly put as much time or more in raising them than my DH and their selfish BM.  Things over the last 5 or so years have became strained between myself and SD's.  Typical Skid issues, and to think I thought it would get easier once they became adults, HA!  I've never been one to speak my mind to them or my DH about my feelings, the disrespect, etc.  My DH now knows how I feel but anytime I bring the situation up he gets defensive, there's never any resolution.  Yes, I know I have a DH problem!  He is the main problem, he's never had my back, he's never protected me from their crap behavior and I've had to learn to protect myself and disengage.  

I only see these two SD's now at Christmas, my DH's birthday and Father's Day.  My DH has been a very emottionally detached father to them and I spent their childhoods encouraging him to have a deeper relationship with them.  I've now stepped away from any of that.  Since they have both grown and moved out he rarely sees them even though they live minutes away.  I disengaged years ago and they are both adults now and whatever relationship the 3 of them choose to have is between them, I do not want to be involved.    

My DH and I have not children together. I have a bio daughter that is 29 and bio son 26.  Both of my SD's have always seemed to have a problem with my BD.  My BD has always treated them kindly, even when they are rude and blow her off.  However my SD's love my son.  All 4 of our children grew up together and in the same house so my SD's are not strangers to my BD and vice versa.

In April my BD and her husband had their first baby, a girl.  Of course neither SD's acknowledged her birth. My DH hounded my OSD25 (only because he talks to her the most) to go and see the baby.  So finally after 6 months she went to see her.  My BD said it was a decent visit but it turned into more of a vent session for OSD25 about the lack of relationship her and my DH have.  YSD22 has yet to see our granddaughter and she is now 9 months.

So come Christmas, both SD's came to our house to collect their Christmas money.  YSD22 comes in and doesn't even acknowledge me, would not look at me or speak, this has been how it's been now for a while.  I try and talk to her and she blows me off.  At Christmas when she did this, I just ignored her, what's the point.  She then proceeds to talk around me to her sister, OSD25 asking her if she's talked to my bio son and what he's been up to.  As if I'm not sitting there and as if he's not my son she's talking about!  At that point I should have spoken up but I didn't.  My DH sits there oblivious to her shananigans or chooses to ignore them.  Neither SD asked about our granddaughter which both my DH and I found odd, and the other thing we found odd was there was a calendar on our kitchen table that my BD gave my DH for Christmas with all of our granddaugthers pictures in it and neither SD said a word.  Had that calendar been pictures of our dogs or anything else, they would have picked it up and thumbed through it.  Finally YSD22 swings her head around and says to me "so is Morgan having another kid anytime soon"?  Her question was filled with so much ugliness I could have slapped her.  I just answered that she wasn't anytime soon.  

I think I'm honestly done done with both of them.  It's always bothered me how they've treated my BD but I've let it go, not even to mention their behavior towards me.  But I think how they are obvious in their contempt toward my granddaughter who is only a baby, I think that's been the straw that's broke the camel's back for me.  Neither of them have children, so it's not a competition.  They are both grown adults but honestly I think they see my granddaughter as a competition with their Dad.  They do not want him to love her, they do not want him to love my BD.  I'm just over it all.