Is it time to give up?
Forums:
DH has 2 boys, the oldest is 10. BM has manipulated them to hate their dad. When they are visiting for the summer, they are consistently rude and disrespectful. They told DH they hate it here and they don't want to come back. We are headed back to court because BM wants him to have very limited visitation (they live about 12 hours away from us). When is it time to give up fighting when the kids say they don't want to be here? Should he keep forcing summer visits? He loves his kids and wants to be with them but we are all getting tired of fighting BM and the kids who don't want to be here.
I have a complicated custody
I have a complicated custody situation from 2 marriages, set of kids from the first and one from the second. I'm dealing with PASing from my 2nd ex H. It's terrible, he tries to get my son to call me by my first name, claims his siblings are abusive, sends photos of a bruise saying he got this while he was with you. False reports to CPS where I had to be investigated and of course it was "unfounded."
The first couple of weeks of summer are always hard, it's like we are starting over. But I wouldn't give up summers and other visits. If summer is the only time they see their dad of course it'll be hard. They should have other holiday/break visitation as well. Do not let BM minimize their visits. It may be hard for everyone but it will be worse in the long run if they are nearly cut out of his life. The kids are too young to be anything but pawns at this point.
Hopefully your DH is the one who is doing the primary parenting, disciplining, taking them out to have fun, camping etc. If it is all falling on you and they spend most of the summer with you then of course they won't like it as much. If he can take off work, use his vacation time and really be there for his kids that would be the best scenario.