I need to vent, especially today.

BM moved 800 miles away and the CO says she and DH are to meet at a "mutually agreeable halfway point" by automobile whenever possible. She moved away back in late August. The new CO gives BM Thanksgiving holiday, Christmas holiday (alternate Christmas with us but BM will always get the bulk of the holiday), Easter holiday, and most of summer. She was also ordered to pay DH monthly CS.

We are currently on our way back from the "mutually agreeable halfway point" from the Christmas holiday. BM has not once been on time for these exchanges -- usually more than an hour and a half late. This time DH traveled even further just so we could get the kids sooner and head back. She was still late to the second meeting place by 20 minutes. I'm not too pleased that we won't be getting to bed tonight until after 11:00 p.m. -- we could've been home before 9:30 p.m. These trips are already around 13 hours round trip... it's more than crummy to have a few hours added on because she's not more thoughtful/responsible/whatever.

After she was ordered to pay CS, she told us that she won't be able to afford to live where she just moved. She also says that she's going to move back, take 50/50 custody (or more), take a lower paying job, and make DH pay her CS. She's making around $115,000.00 a year as a midwife right now and I've been led to believe that most, if not all, of her sizable student loans will be forgiven if she stays at this job for something like six years. Now she's talking about moving back, taking a job that pays more like $40,000.00 a year, and having DH pay her CS. (She'd be walking away from the loan forgiveness which I understand is something around $175,000.00.) Aside from the mixed feelings about her moving back (it was a contentious custody hearing, kids certainly miss her, and she's been acting more and more unstable), it seems sorta dumb to throw away what she has because DH is receiving CS. What did she expect? Before she decided to take DH to court for the right to relocate (and get primary custody) she offered to leave the twins behind because, as she said, this job was too good to let go. I suppose it's important to point out that BM is making $115K/year in an area where the average family lives on less than $40K/year. It's not like she's trying to survive in LA -- she moved to the middle of the Midwest.

BM also told us that she and her current husband are getting a divorce as soon as they can establish official residency where she moved. They haven't lived there long enough to file. BM asked us not to tell the kids after she broke the news to us. She also said that her husband is moving within eyesight of their new residence and she's paying him CS informally. Her husband (and their three year old toddler) have been at each of the custody exchanges since they moved, too. DH asked BM recently if they were still planning on separating and she says they are and he's even looking at getting his old job back where we live. (BM is hoping he can so she can move back here and not go through a custody battle for her toddler.) This seems nuts to me. Why would her husband accompany her on these long custody exchanges with their toddler if they were actively separating? Why is the separation still a secret?

So, here we are, making the many hour drive home, in the rain (of course), wondering if BM is going to move back, try to sabotage our family again, and drag everyone into the mud trying. All this while she's getting divorced AGAIN, quitting a super well paying job that she left her kids behind for, and she's going to have to figure out how to juggle three COs between the three dads to her four kids.

This seems insane and I'm totally thankful to have a chance to vent.