Kid Doesn't Understand Relationships
12 year old step son does not understand appropriateness of relationships. His dad and I never do anything inappropriate in front of him, maybe a quick kiss or hug, or I'll rest my leg on his, or maybe have an arm around each other, hold bands etc. Then 12 year old son will try to do the exact same things, like put his leg on dad's lap, kiss him, hold his hand, arm around him etc. It's as if the kid sees it as some sort of competition and the kid does not understand a romantic relationship is different than a parent/child relationship. At 12 years old it seems kind of akward that the 12 year old son is doing these things to his dad, or is that just me?
Does anyone have a link on the appropriateness of relationships. It's getting to the point where dad & I have to act like roommates.
He is competing. He doesn't
He is competing. He doesn't want his Dad to abandon him for you. After all he did leave his mother and who knows who is next?
At age 12 I had no problem putting my arm around my kid and walking down the street, we've done it for a short distance even today and he's 40. By a short distance I mean measured in feet not blocks and its when something emotional is going on like he lost a girl friend or I announced my heart problems.
Holding hands while walking strikes me as OK, but while watching a movie - sorry - that's too much like a girlfriend. My point being quite a lot of physical contact between a man and his son is appropriate - we're still too homophobic in the western world.
Listen - the kid is no competition to you, he just doesn't know the difference between romantic love and family love. Why not let him and Dad work it out even if it seems a little strange. Do you feel a need to voice an opinion to Dad, maybe already have? OK, once is enough. Dad belongs to you behind the bedroom door isn't that enough for now?
His official diagnosis is
His official diagnosis is ADHD, learning disability, anxiety, and separation anxiety. The learning disability though I'm not so sure because he can do everything when his dad's not around. With me, he can do it all and get ready on his own and with homework he will act as if he can't do it when I've seen him do it before.