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Last Question: Would Love Everyone's Opinion (Good or Bad)

cowchic's picture

Submitted by cowchic on Sun, 01/06/2013 - 8:49am

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General Discussion

I had posted my dilemma on 12/31, titled, "Help: Deciding My Next Move". (please review if you're bored). I got a lot of responses that really helped me think more about all of my concerns.

But all of this leads me to my last question: after reading many threads on many SM forum web sites, I can't help but wonder WHY do we all put ourselves in this situation. Is that too rude to say/ask? Am I just not cut out to have a ready-made family or will someone tell me just to suck it up? How the hell did I get in this situation! Smile

lostinbrazil's picture

Submitted by lostinbrazil on Sun, 01/06/2013 - 9:15am

I wish I knew why we put ourselves in these situations... I find I am better at giving advice than taking my own advice and its so hard to look at the situation from an objective perspective and really do what is in MY best interest. That being said, I am also in a crappy situation with my FDH and his stupid and ghetto and drama loving and harrasing and manipulative BM and it seems never ending and I question daily if it is worth it. How did I get into it? because my FDH is super nice and sweet and hot and sexy and loving and talented and great in bed and we shares common interests and life goals and he is just an all around great guy, my parents and friends agree. BUT I am FULLY capable of leaving if it gets to that point. I am currently doing everything in my power to make it work but I know I have it in me to walk away, no matter what because I have done it before in other relationships and I have NEVER regretted ending a relationship.

Once you leave you take back your life and get over it. It is possible and you are fully capable of it.

I say that if you feel that you have exhausted all other options, you have tried your best and it still isnt working, if you are honestly NOT HAPPY and the situation you are in is NOT going to change, then leave him. He doesnt even pull his own weight in the finance department so leave him now so you have time to find someone else while you are young, not in 5 or 10 years when you already have kids with him and are no spring chicken and have no money. My opinion.

mindfulmeows's picture

Submitted by mindfulmeows on Sun, 01/06/2013 - 2:45pm

I am seriously questioning my decision to join this blended family --- as I was typing that, FSS7 just pooped in his underwear while playing with Transformers. FDH is the best man on the planet. Is it worth it?

my.kids.mom's picture

Submitted by my.kids.mom on Sun, 01/06/2013 - 7:02pm

It is mostly ignorance. A good portion of us are attracted to certain people because we don't think we deserve better.

Those of you who think you have the "best man ever," I have to wonder...if they are so awesome, why are you here? They either married an idiot before you, or aren't parenting their children correctly. I used to think that, and then realized that "he" wasn't parenting his children correctly, which affected "me" more than him. That's not a great man.

I got into the situations I have been into because of ignorance. Not understanding people hide who they really are. Not understanding that most of us are grown wounded children, and don't understand why we do the things we do, or why other people do...