LET'S ALL VENT ABOUT MIL!!!
as some of u know i went to a mother's day event at my SD's school and my MIL went with me.well she got to talk with BM and her mom and exchanged phone numbers even though they hated each other when my H was very briefly married to BM. that happened at around 9:00 a.m. and at 11:00 a.m. when im at home taking a nap with my baby i get a call from MIL asking me where i got my hair cut because BM's mom wanted to know because she liked it (bull crap! how do i know it's bull crap? well cause i got a shity hair cut that i hate).im half asleep so i tell her that i will call her back which i didnt. i have no idea what was so important that they had to talk to each other so soon. i mean i don't care what they talk about and if they become friends again as long as they don't talk about me which is very likely... sometimes i feel like MIL gets on their side more than mine and that pisses me off cause both BM and her mom treated my H like shit and MIL knows even she would get in fights with both and now they are best buddies. all i can say is that they are a bunch of hypocrites...
does ur MIL prefer first
does ur MIL prefer first marriage kids over second marriage? i feel like mine does...she buys brand name clothing to SD9 all the time even when she does not need it and showers her with what she wants. but when it comes to my baby who will soon turn 4 months gets almost nothing since she was born.
this is what she has gotten for my baby:
1. 6 pairs of socks from wal-mart (have nothing against wal-mart i love it)
2. 3 used toys (very freaking used i think they are vintage)
3. 2 pairs of socks (from dollar store)
4. high chair (also used and with food from previous owner..nasty!)
5. walker (also used and also with food stains from previous owner..sick!)
6. mobile ( u guessed it also used but not food remains at least but does not work properly my baby got freaked out when she heard the worn out music coming out of that thing that sounded very distorted like when peoples identeties are being kept private on criminal tv shows.)
7. musical toy (guess what also used from the same garage sale no food on this one either but it's broken)
8. diaper bag (u should know by now USED..BINGO this one has food remains i was missing the food remains already...
she now thinks she made the deed of her day and helped me and my H by saving us tons of money...we might have a low income but this is my first baby and i want new things because she is my first and i get exited when she needs things and i know they won't go to waist cause we plan on having more children so they next will get to use them as well besides she is not paying for the new things my baby needs..
so my problem is why the heck does she buy SD9 brand name and her other granddaughters as well and not my baby not that she needs them but can she at least be equal with her..
i believe that MIL thinks that her son with the income should take anything that is given to him even if its meant for the trash and appreciate it and take it as big favor from her... the gifts she made for my baby are not even good to donate to the salvation army and im trying to understand why she would do something like that but i can't come up with something
oh and she is very happy that CS went up higher .... :O
Ya know what I would do...
Sell the stuff she got in YOUR OWN garage sale, go BUY the new stuff... that's pathetic.
I don't get that either.
“Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go.”
My MIL blatantly favors my
My MIL blatantly favors my sd over my bio children (also her bio children). I think it all goes back to her being upset about dh divorcing sd's mom. She thinks that people have to stay together for their kids. I'm not sure why that reflects poorly on my kids, but somehow, my MIL became obsessed with my sd and does just like your MIL. Buys stuff all the time for sd and not the other kids. She will even give stuff to sd without giving the other kids something right in front of them. She talks nonstop about sd and makes a huge to-do about her. Now that I have gotten through all the bm drama, I can honestly say that this is the biggest source of unhappiness in my life. I don't know how to ignore it. I light up on fire every time MIL says sd's name because the wounds are so raw there. My FIL doesn't show favoritism, but somehow he's either oblivious to what his wife does or he doesn't feel like he can say anything about it.
my FIL is very whipped by my
my FIL is very whipped by my MIL cause she is the one in control and tries to control other people as well. she wanted to try it with me but no way she found her match with cause i don't like being bossed around unless it is my MOM.
WTF is up with these women don't they know that kids are smart and will know when they are favoring others???? and why so mean to little ones after all they are their GRANDCHILDREN as well .....
Future in laws
I have to jump right in on this one - this week fiance was told that i have totally brainwashed him because he did not want to meet with them to discuss ongoing problems. We have met with them probably half a dozen times to "talk" and all they do is hurl insults at me and him, call him names, tell him he is stupid and that i am trash. They have constantly sided with bm over him and even hang out with her. THEY ARE GOING TO BM HOUSE FOR MOTHERS DAY, but they profess to have no idea why he might be tired of trying to talk to them and work things out. Absurd.
Hi everyone.
Hi everyone.
I have bio daughter 2 and SD6. My MIL did good for my baby's shower, bought the crib and changing table. It was big help for us - very appreciated. Since then, for Christmas my baby got 2 plush toys, for her 1st birthday $20 and a card, for her second Christmas toys on clearance from Walmart /I own a home daycare and am constantly following the toy sales at the store.../ and for her 2nd birthday NOTHING. Didn't even acknowledge it, didn't come to the party, tried to call my DH after all and he was pissed at her and never picked up the phone and she never mentioned it again.
My SD gets decent gifts from her. At least her birthdays get acknowledged. And on family get-togethers they are first friends - MIL sit next to SD and feeds her and jokes with her etc.
And I know WHY!!! As a blended family we have issues. I had issues with SD because of BM interference in our life, b/c of my DH feeling of guilt and so on. Everyone knows what I'm talking about here. Well, when we have issues, my DH calls his mommy and complains. Then we solve the issue and he forgets his mommy again. So for my MIL I'm the evil stepmom, my DH is unhappy with me, SD is mistreated and my D is the princess. So... MIL decides in a very smart way to bring justice in our family and for revenge she ignores my D, her youngest granddaughter, and only acknowledges my SD.
What my DH thinks about it - it's too late to fix it. He doesn't like to talk to his mom /unless to complain/ She has never been a family person anyways, so life goes on...
I guess it does, I surly can live without MIL, and my daughter doesn't even remember that she exists.
Mil
Mil was so worried that dh and I might have a child together she actually said to me that we had better not have any and still comments about it occasionally. I know she talked to dh about it. Dh had a vasectomy after ss so that is not an option anyway.
After a recent e-mail excahnge (see my blog) mil pointed out how unfair I am to poor sd, which is crap by the way, and how I only do things for bd, which is even more crap. I know tht I will never win with her. I am the evil sm no matter what.
In my home bm will ever remain on the freakin pedastal. Mil seems to enjoy letting me know how great and intelligent she is. WTF ever.
You think that the woman would be happy that I am a good and decent person and am fair to the skids.
~sigh~
Sometimes I wonder what the f*ck I was thinking getting into all of this.
Gosh I know how that feels.
Gosh I know how that feels. Sometimes I wonder how I endured the first couple of years. It was stupidity, I guess.
One time before dh and I had kids I said something about being "baby hungry" and MIL looked at me like I was an alien. I asked her, "don't you ever want another grandbaby to snuggle and hold?" She looked me dead in the eye and said, in a cold voice, "I've got my grandbaby, I don't need anymore." I remember that like it was yesterday. Talk about a punch in the gut. We were already trying to have a baby, so I was devastated. She was 'happy' when each of my 3 kids came along, but I know it never came close to rivaling her feelings of when sd came along.
She went out and bought everything for bm and dh for sd. And they didn't need any help whatsoever financially.
Us, on the other hand, could have used help. My in laws have a comfortable life, and yet, MIL offered to buy NOTHING for my kids when they were born. She off handedly gave me $40 one day to reimburse me for the crib I bought at a yard sale! But of course I know that she personally took bm to Babies R Us and let her pick out an entire nursery when sd was born.
I could literally write you pages of crap she's pulled over the years. But when I think about it I get so enraged I feel like filing for divorce.
It was pretty bad. I
It was pretty bad.
I don't want to be a drama queen, but this woman has caused me more tears than bm ever has.
Wow
That is awful. I am so sorry that you have to endure such stupid behavior. Does she favor the sd over your bd's now? At this point in my life I do not want to start over with a baby but it just pisses me off that she would even say that to me. And trust me she was VERY worried that I wanted a child with her son.
It is as if the mil's resent us for coming into their sons lives. I think mil partly resents me because I have children and she sees them as an added burden to her son. Although I make pretty decent money a contribute quite a bit to her grandchildren's well being. :sick: The funny thing is is that she is on her THIRD marriage.
Is your relationship with mil any better today?
Your mil sounds like mine.
Your mil sounds like mine. She is always worried about dh and his burdens. She acts like having to provide for a family is the worst thing that could have happened to him. She still favors my sd a great deal, to the point where the other kids notice and it is starting to rub them the wrong way. My relationship with my mil is weird. On the surface I don't think anyone would guess how we really feel. We are pretty adept at avoiding one another and keeping it very superficial. I wished desperately for more, but I gave up on that a long time ago.
mm mmm mmmmm...
that's just awful!!!
“Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go.”
future in laws
The only problem I have with the inlaws(including FH sister) anymore is that they CONSTANTLY throw guilt trips at him. Like when he announced we were planning on moving out of state.. It was all "well what about us? You can't leave us, and you can't leave FSS" FSS and BM are one of the reasons we're moving out of state. We can't just sit here and watch FSS go down the tubes when there is nothing we can do about it anyway, and we're BOTH sick of BM's crap. Everyone seems so selfish to their own needs and wants, and never think about FH's wants and needs. He's lived here his whole life and I've finally talked him into going somewhere where we can move on with our lives for the better
Oh yes... I remember!!!
The sister comment just takes the cake for me!
“Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go.”
Our MIL's sound a lot alike!
Our MIL's sound a lot alike! That sounds like something my MIl would say. Never once has she ever admitted that maybe things have been hard for ME. It is always about what is hard for bm and what is hard for sd. I am left to bear all the burdens. I hate it so bad. Your MIL sounds like a piece of work, too.
Boy, do I know what that's like.
MIL feels so terribly for sd and ss. It is sooo awful for them that bm decided to leave my dh. And now the poor dears have to deal with an evil sm (me) and my horrible children. Ya whatever. Forget the fact that my kids have to endure the blatant favoritism and the skids stupid crap.
UGH...
unfortunately i say my MIL
unfortunately i saw my MIL at the store today and when she saw my baby she said "her hair looks green" "why is it green?" i freaked out and took a look at my baby's hair and i did not see green at all...in my head i was WTF is wrong with her??? and then she looks at me and says "it looks like yours" and all this time she is laughing... so i turn around and tell my husband "oh so my hair also looks green?" and then i tell her "it's not us its your glasses that are dirty"
she is always coming up with stupid little things to piss me off and one of these days im going to blow up right on her face...
what a b*tch
What does dh say about this?
he says that she is crazy
he says that she is crazy and to not pay attention to her but it would help if he would say something to her when she makes those stupid remarks...
At last he can see what is going on
My dh chooses to look the other way. He hates confrontation. Sometims I really miss my old house and my simple life.
do any of ur MILs act like
do any of ur MILs act like nice lovely grandmas and MILs in front of others... and make them think that they are the loveliest MILs on earth? mine does and she just looks ridiculous trying to act nice...
by the way my MIL forced my H to marry ex because she got pregnant.. my H did not even love the psyco biatch but he had no support from his family at all ... year later he decided to go against his mommies will and had to sell his beloved Chevy Montecarlo to get a divorce not to mention that he suffered great stress while he was married to psyco queen..and all because MIL did not want to have a son that shamed the family like that... just for that reason i resent her very much.
well after my last comment
well after my last comment the FMIL and FIL accused me of brainwashing their son. I guess that just about says it all.
some of these in laws have
some of these in laws have the nerve to say what they want and don't hold back...we should do the same to them..
please don't get me started
My in-laws are certifiable! and I just can't deal with them at all any more. I refuse to visit them now, so far so good. They are probably relieved because I poke holes in all the unhealthy viewpoints they have anyway re. men's roles/women's roles, education, raising children, values, morals, crime, standing up for yourself - you name it!
My h. did say recently it is wearing on him though to stay away, and I told him he can go all he wants, I am not stopping him. He still isn't going. ?? Oh yeah, I am the problem!
"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus
i can assure u that they
i can assure u that they think that it's because of u that he doesnt go...im pretty sure my in laws think the same when my H gets tired of them and doesnt show up for a while... they think that they are always right and perfect...and no matter what we do it is always wrong
my fmil
when I first started dating FH his mom would go on and on about how much she hated the ex so much so that we would stand and listen to her talk about this ex for an hour..And not once did she ask about me or our family.
she is better now and we get along very well but in the beginning I had my doubts.
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
my MIL would tell me details
my MIL would tell me details of the forced wedding between my H and ex all the time when we started dating.... like where it took place and who played the music....
ugh
yeah I had to hear how bad of a mother the ex was and how mil felt abused and how mean she was to my FH and I mean just on and on.
I used to ask my FH why doesnt she ask about us??
He would just shake his head.. he didnt really know ..
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
my MIL also complained about
my MIL also complained about ex and her mother but then days or months later she will began a friendship with them that has become an on and off friendship...even though she says that when my H and ex were married they were both awful to my H and her...
I walk lightly
I dont confide much to FMIL, I just dont know how much to trust her, if she talks bad about all her ex dil why should I think it would be different for me EXCEPT that I AINT crazy...well sometimes and only after a couple of glasses of wine!!
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
i do the same about not
i do the same about not spilling my guts with MIL but im sure she makes things up about me cause the other day she brought her mom over to my house for a while and i gave her extra milk that i had and some plants from my garden. well the next day MIL calls me and says that her mom thought i had changed a lot that was being nice and that i smiled more...WTF? i was confused and i told her "what do u mean i have always been nice to people (even u evil witch) and im always smiling". she did not know what to say next cause she began to mumble and then she blamed it on her mother by saying " oh she doesnt know what she's saying". YEAH right im pretty sure she bad mouthed me with no reason..
first impressions
The first time I met my in-laws they were running down my now sister-in-law terribly, to me, a complete stranger! and right away I thought, that is what they will do to me too I bet. I really don't care though what they think and that is really sad because at one time they were like a second family to me (before the other son threatened us with physical violence, like he has done to all of them too, and I objected).
Mine has the problem of their own no good loser son (dh's brother). This guy needs to be locked up and every conversation centers on him and what he is doing or has done to them, the neighbors, anyone fool enough to deal with him. They also love to discuss DH's ex, to the point that I asked DH to ask them not to - who cares about hearing about these idiots when we have to drive 2 hours to see them?
"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus