Mother-in-law needy
So this isn't a step-parent issue exactly but I need to vent. My mother-in-law and I have been at odds with each other since my DW and I started dating. I think it is mostly jealosy since my DW spent a lot more time with her when she was single. The mother lives 3 and half hours away.
A little backstory, my DW had to have a kidney removed when we were dating. I was self employed and we planned on me staying with her for her whole recovery in the hospital. So I did. The mother came too and became irritatied that I would not leave my DW side. She said some thing like "don't you need to go to work?" and "I'm not sure why I am here," when I wouldn't leave.
She is always asking us to come down to visit, while she has only visited us a couple of time in out house. On top of that, she is always asking my DW40 to come visit her over weekends by herself. My wifes SD lives at home with the mother as well. Now we have 3 kids, my 13 DS, and my SD12 and SD15. We are extremely busy with them on the weekends since they are at the age where they have a lot of activities. We are also very involved in our church, SD12 is in the choir, and my DW and I teach the youth group. My DW has 50% custody alternating every Monday with her ex.
I get to the point where I think we are not even in our own house enough on the weekends, let alone having any adult time with my DW. When the mother asks her to come down by herself, that includes being with out her own grand kids.
I have several issues with this. One, my previous feelings that we never have anytime at home. Two, I never heard of a grandmother not wanting to see the grandkids. And three, if the mother's husband can be there, why can't I?
I am totally supportive of them going to lunch, getting their hair/nails done, going shopping, or whatever. But I don't get enough time with my DW as it is and I am not really ok with not seeing her on our few open weekends.
I am at the point where I am just going to support this so that we don't fight, I just need to vent and see what you guys think.
To be fair DW has never done
To be fair DW has never done this, but we have faught about it. Maybe its because I can't imagine my mom or my grandmother as such a thing. Once every 2 months would be too much as that is about how often we get time to ourselves.
Just another example of some of the mother's crap. When we first started dating we wanted to get out of town for a couple of days. DW said why don't we go to the mother's since she lives at the beach. I agreed but soon found out that the mother had planned a charity auction for her and my DW to go to. We had aggreed to tell her mom no but she pitched a fit and DW went along. Its a good thing I love her to pieces.
I had only met the in-laws once before. The husband had a function that night as well so I was on my own. No food was offered and the only thing I was given was the remote to the TV.
I was pretty livid. So I just went out to a movie on my own. I can't imgaine for the life of me doing that to a guest in my house.
yeah I think I will save
yeah I think I will save fighting if she asks to actually makes plans to do it.