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My DH's limited rights.

tinky winky's picture

Submitted by tinky winky on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 3:28am

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My dear husband had a child out of wedlock. His ex then later married. good for the cow. Her hubby is doing everything he can to make my DH's life difficult when it comes to visiting his daughter (my SD12). My DH pays child support and has been doing so since the baby was born. I don't understand why him seeing his daughter has to go through some guy who should have the same rights as I do, ZIP. I want to know if there's a law that my DH can excercise to gain visitation rights and have child support he's already paying on a legal document so there can be recourse if they refuse him access to his daughter.

milknosugar's picture

Submitted by milknosugar on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 4:08am

I may be wrong (I don't come from USA) but CS in my country has nothing to do with custody and visitation. You should probably ask for legal advice but be careful - you need to have deep pockets to force your rights and in my experience, it doesn't always work our fairly even then.

Hopefully, BM will step up and make sure,for the sake of her daughter, that her father stays in her daughter's life. Doing that is almost always in the child's best interest (except where there is real abuse - not made up). Sadly, not everyone puts the child first in these situations. Then, all your DH can do is somehow let his daughter know that it wasn't his choice to stay away from her. He could write to her, keep copies of what he writes and show them to her one day. He should document all he did to try to stay in touch. One day, that might give his daughter a really good chance to heal. You need to not fight it - not at all. Easier said than done I know but all you can do is support him and give him your love and understanding.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 6:06am

Tell him to go to court and have a judge order visition.

Once he does that, BM may decide to go for court ordered CS. He might end up paying more than he is now.

tinky winky's picture

Submitted by tinky winky on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 8:48am

He has been seeing his daughter for all those years. Maybe not as much as he'd like to because they play a dodgy game when he has to collet her. He has bank statements of payments made to SD's account for transport fees and he has always paid school fees directly to the school 100%. we buy her clothes whenever she visits. I respect the positon of the SF coz I'm sure he's playing a role in her life, however, Hes the step at the end of the day. no one wants to take his position as BM's hubby. He should know his place. In our culture, you have to respect another man's household hence DH would humble himself in front of SF to arrange for visitations, he just flat ignores him and or promise that he can collect her and then turn on the last minute to say he's changed his mind. DH is so angry about the whole thing now, I'm scared he's gonna do something stupid, like walk in and take her. They will obviously retaliate and I think that's wht he wants so that a legal battle can begin and the battle lines can be drawn once and for all. Why can't bio and step parents just work together. what's the power trip for?