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My former stepdaughter from 11 years ago is causing issues-it just never ends does it?

hismineandours's picture

So today my dh gets a text from MY former sd-she's not been my sd for over 11 years-she was 21 when her dad died and I was 28. My dh (now) knew my first dh. I am not even sure how she got my dh's phone number. But the text came thru and said she wanted one of my first dh's guitars (he was a musician) and said to "name the price". GAG. There was no, hi, hello, how r you doing? Sadly, this is my two oldest kids half sister. My 13 year old dd was standing there and my dh said, "I just got a text from _________" and I said, "no way, what did it say?" and he paused and then blurted it out. My dd went out of the room for a few minutes and then came back and said, "I thought she was going to be asking to spend time with me and my brother". They have never spent any time with her. She always hated me when her dad and I were married and after he died she just full on hated me. We did keep contact for a short while, but it became apparent to me after a few months that she only wanted to keep tabs on what I was doing, what was going on with her dad's stuff, and to see the kids in a proprietary manner (not because she had a bond with them or anything-they were only 2 and 9 months). So one day after about a 4 month absence she tried to stop in, we live in a gated community and I just didnt let her in. I have never heard another word from her in almost 11 years. But she moved back to our area a few years ago-had a son-who coincidentally ended up in MY son's class. Once the kids found out who she was and where she was-they were very interested of course. My dd wrote her a letter basically asking her to act as a sister, my son got along well with her son and wanted to do sleepovers and such, they sent her an xmas card-but she never replied to any of their efforts. Then she moved away and they lost contact until about a year ago when they became her facebook friend. My dd has tried to talk to her on facebook and leave messages several times, but she blows her off.

I am trying not to think about it as it makes my blood boil. Why are people so stupid? She is so stupid because if she had just been nice to me and my kids I probably would have given her the guitar. She just finished nursing school about a year ago-up until this point never really had any sort of career-I guess she feels like she can tell us to "name our price" since she actually has a real job now. GAG! Dh wanted to text back and say like 20,000-and then if she actually paid it put it in a bank acct for the kids. She would never actually be able to come up with that so its immaterial. I just cant believe the nerve of her-that she feels like its ok to blow my children off but then turn around and want their belongings. What a biatch! Should I respond?

Disneyfan's picture

Let her have the guitar. Maybe she wants her son to have something of importance that belonged to his grandfather. I would not try to build a relationship with her. Tell the kids to stop reaching out to her, she isn't interested.

hismineandours's picture

Wow-you all really think she should have it? Why would it be more important for his grandson to have it than for our children together to have it? And just so its clear-I gave this woman huge tubs full of stuff when my dh died-pictures,clothes, watches, jewelry, copies of his music-just not his guitars as I was saving them for my children. The guitars have huge sentimental value but they also have decent monetary value as well. Perhaps it does not matter, but he was not close with his daughter-she was a victim of PAS back in the day before they knew what PAS was and was pretty horrible to her dad.

Just out of curiousity-what would be your reasoning to let her have it?

RaeRae's picture

I was thinking to let her have it too. But, in this case, if your children have interest in the guitars (your late husband is the biodad, correct?), or if you had plans for them to have them, then don't just ignore her, tell her no.

hismineandours's picture

I have no clue why this has come up now-she asked for alot of his stuff when he died-I gave her every single thing she asked for with the exception of the guitars and a handmade clock. Those were some of the things I set aside for my kiddos-I also gave one of his guitars to his nephew-who was more like a son to him-as he had taught him how to play on that guitar. I also gave her one guitar-it was a cheap starter acoustic from Sears-but it is what he bought to teach her when she was a child but she never took an interest in it-she is wanting some of the electric guitars.

alwaysanxious's picture

Ignore ignore ignore. Nope. Done. That was a long time ago. She needs to leave you alone. I wonder if she wants money or something and wants to sell them. doesn't matter. Just don't talk to her.

overit2's picture

Hell no I wouldn't. I would answer, sorry these guitars are used by your brother/sister as your dad would have wanted.

Pffttt..