My SS Hates Me
Hi All, I'm new and have found alot of people in some similar situations to me. It is somehow peaceful to finally see I am not the only one. My SS has never showed any interest in having a relationship with me but after 2 years just last week confirmed my suspisions. He told his Dad he didn't want to come over anymore. I went to speak to him and he told me he doesn't like me. After I asked him about some fun times we had had he tells me he was faking it and has no intetion of changing the way he feels. I was shattered and I got him to tell his dad how he felt about me. My Husband is backing me 100% and now see's that a 10 year old has the ability to manipulate as I had quietly suspected he always had. I have a teenage son from an ex and we have a 1 year old together. My husband is devestated and I am shocked at how real this is. SS wants BD all to himself, but BD has refused to see SS all alone and stands strong that if SS wants to see him he must come and be a part of our family. What do we do if SS refuses and never wants to come to our house and BD refuses to be manipulated by him? I couldn't imagine never seeing my sons again!! I don't want them to be apart forever but also don't want SS to get his own way all the time, which he has always demanded. Please help us!!!!
Whoa. This is a toughie. Has
Whoa. This is a toughie. Has your SS said why he does not like you? Are they valid reasons or possibly something his mom has put in his head? Do you get along with BM? Maybe you guys can come up with something together and hopefully remedy the problem. I know I struggled for years to make nice with my SD and come to find out 7 years later that she never had any intention of having a relationship with me and always faked it. She said her mom told her that the reason her daddy left her is because I was a witch and did a voo doo ritual to make him love me!! Sounds silly but she was 4 at the time and very gullable. She is now 11 and has pretty much made up her mind that she will never be close to me. My hubby is also on my side and told her if she can't respect me and be with us a family than she cannot come over at all. 2 months later we are still not seeing her but I have a feeling she will eventually grow out of this. When BMs brainwash their kids they make them feel guilty for ever speaking to the stepparent much less form a relationship with them. It sucks but thats the sad truth. Hang in there.
More info....
It is hard to tell the whole story, as you would know as there is so much to tell!! I treat him as I do the other 2 boys, everyone has to do their share and has the same rules, we spend time with them all together and play or do something everyone wants in turn. SS is an only child at home and BM is an upperclass snob and couldn't care less what happens. Hubby told her he was bringing him home when all this happened she angrily asks why?, hubby tells her it's because he doesn't like my wife and she sweetly says 'ok then bring him home' on an occasion earlier in the week hubby tried to talk to her about SS and his moodiness and inability to get along with our family she told him to get over himself and hung up!! She is impossible to talk to. My hubby never had a relationship for 8 years before he met me due to his son being grumpy and demanding at thought of anyone else stepping in but now that it's happened SS has no want to get active with our family or me. When asked why he didn't like me he said I don't know I just don't! But on further prompting it was clear that it was about me taking dad and bringing 2 new brothers that take even more time from him and Dad. If we go out he sits by himself to get dad to go over and see whats wrong. If we are at home (which is my house by the way) he ignores my exsistance and has done for 2 years. I am angry, confused and sad for the situation this puts hubby in. Thankyou for your reply.
Sorry!
I was so wrapped up in my own troubles that I had to read your post again!! Voodoo!! OMG and I thought BM was a freak...yours is just evil. Isn't it amazing what they will tell kids to get the upper hand!! When SS was taken home after all the drama at our house, BM says to SS "I told you you would have to share your dad with SM and 2 other kids now" his immediate response was "you never told me that" and they argued it for a while. So I ma sure BM had a bit to do with it. She bags BD all the time and won't speak to me. She thinks she should parent her way at her house and we do what we want at our house and neither is any of the others business. Good parenting hey??..Voodoo witch..LOL. Thanks for your reply but I really do't know where to turn.