Hi, I just signed up here. Was actually looking for chat. How can I shorten this story... Well, I am not an official step-mom. Been living with sig other for just over 10 years. Why aren't we married yet? Well... we've been engaged for about 8 years, but feel rude not inviting certain people (like his parents and siblings), yet knowing there will be drama and fights if certain people come. That's mostly what the hold-up is. Nothing can be normal. Lots of problems here. Sig other was divorced when I met him, my 2 boys were 14 and 9 at the time. Now mine are grown but younger one about to move back home after graduation from 2-year tech school. Sig other's son was 5 and has just turned 16. I live with sig other in his house and it is on his parents' property. They live next door and sig other's bro (an alcoholic) lives on the other side of parents with his kids and his g/f.Sig other has a sister who lives across town also. We can't sell the house, since it's not on our property, obviously. Can't afford to buy another one, and incidentally, I've been off work sick for a few months without pay which has added to the difficulties.

Sig other allows me to discipline his boy. He used to let him off the hook a lot, but as the years have passed and he's noticed some poor behavior from his son and toxic behavior from his parents, he is seeing the big picture better and the discipline gets followed through better. The problem stems from the in-laws. If they know that son's not allowed over there (there is a 15 year old cousin living on the other side of sig other's parents' home that likes to have secret meetings at the parents' home... this boy is always in trouble... loves fights, has smoked pot and about 3 weeks ago, took a neighbor's car and was driving around. It's all swept under the rug by the family and no one presses charges... therapist said she can't help him cause he's not honest and doesn't wanna change...) Ok well sig other and i don't want his son around this boy. Family claims that it's cause I'm a trouble-maker, trying to break up the family, and the kids are great kids... well, after a couple weeks of attitude, misbehaving, and hanging around with his cousin that he's not allowed around (the cousin conveniently got them jobs together working for a neighbor), step-son's behavior became intolerable and I came down on him, not caring what would happen with in-laws (they threaten to kick us off their property and force us to have the house moved, which is impossible. They also talk about me around town to the point where, after 10 years, people around town won't even talk to me or get to know me! I'm a good person... I'm an RN and like to help others... if people would give me a chance, some of them would surely like me... in-laws have told people I'm on drugs, I abuse the kids, etc.... not true...). Anyhow, this boy had all electronic equipment taken away and was given various punishments that didn't work. Finally I started making him sit in the hallway like a baby and he hates it!! He straightened up after the first day and on the second day he continued being so pleasant and helpful that he got his cell phone back and was allowed to go to a local softball game to see his g/f. (I think she's nice but her family and her don't talk to us much...incidentally they know the bad cousin also). Sig other's dad found out that SS was done being punished and today, I could not find ss. Looked inside and out.. he was up next door, without permission from his dad or I, with the grandparents, his cousin, and his cousin's dad... all people who feel the need to put me down and play a game of control with me. Sig other called up there from work and told his dad to knock it off, but... this exact scenario has happened I don't know how many times in 10 years... sig other's family make excuses and do what they want. Can any of you understand when I say 'AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH"!! SS came home mean and cocky, erased all his cell messages so I couldn't see them... and was argumentative with me. After an hour of coaching from the family, it ruined my entire week of discipline. I just feel like crying... I don't know what to do and we just can't afford to move. I just wanna vent and have someone to talk to. Very isolated here. And, I know I kinda just blurted out a bunch of stuff, I hope this isn't too confusing to understand...