So ive been married a few years and have 2 ss 8 and 14. I also have a bd that's 2. I have tried to be a parent to my ss as much as i can and this last 6 months ive had enough of the Bm bull crap. She works nights and we are only supposed to have ss one night a week and every other weekend. So after over 2 years of keeping the boys overnight while she works and into the next days after. I finally told dh that he needs to inform the bm that cs needs to be modified so things are fair. BM thru a fit and said if he cant afford to have his kids a few extra nughts then she will find somewhere for them to go. Dh gets first priority if bm isn't able to watch them. All the while ive been doing homework and trying to get them to understand good hygiene and nothing works. I get back talked and disrespected. Also bm calls dh all the tine and i told him thats unnessicary unless its for the boys. Ive been told many times..im not the mom. So ive decided to focus my time and love on my bd. How do i disengage when ive been involved so much and care for these boys cuz bm is selfish. Also dh makes me feel guilty plus has no balls to stand up to bm about stuff... ugh help! !!