My 5yr old will come in the bedroom in the morning and crawl in bed with his dad and I, but never sleeps with us all night. He has a room and that is where he sleeps.

Personally, I think your SS is too old for sleeping with GM and BM so much, once in a while with a bad dream or if he is ill is one thing, but all the time is very odd to me.

I would do some research online or at your local library about the longterm effects of this. I do not think it is healthy.

no, this is not healthy. A child of this age needs to sleep in his own bed and have his own space. this is poor boundaries. That being said-if this only happened every once in a while I dont think it would be a problem, but he is obviously fearful to sleep alone. I dont think cosleeping is what caused his emotional immaturity but rather the cosleeping is a result of him being immature and having poor boundaries. I am not sure there is away to approach this with bm-you may just want to do things to encourage ss to be more independent in general-make a big deal of all the things he can do since he is such a big boy and hopefully he will decide that sleeping with mom and grandma isnt such a cool thing to do.

in my opinion, this isnt normal. first, they are of diffrent genders, second, his age. sd11 slept in bed with her grandmother or her father till she was just about 7yrs old. and when we moved into a house together, she would climb in bed with bf and i in the middle of the night. it took me 5 yrs to get her to stop doing this.

i do beleive there is some emotional trauma from this. the child doesnt learn how to self-sooth and be by themselves for any length of time.

i wouldnt even bring it up to his mom. she wont listen. whenever u have him, make him sleep alone. let him pick out a really cool nightlight, get some soft classical music to play, and make a bedtime routine. let him sleep witht he door open if he likes, and keep yours open too (until he is accustomed to being alone). let him know that if he needs u, he can wake u up but NEVER come into your bed. if he does, u have to keep putting him in his bed, its basically like dealing with a toddler from the crib to the big-kid bed.

good luck, and control what u can, when u can.

Well....my SS slept with FH the 50% of the week he is with him until last spring. And he is 10. I think it isn't healthy, it doesn't allow kids to develop emotionally (e.g. kids at that age should have good self-soothing skills, be able to go to sleep and get back to sleep with minimal parental support), or allow adults to have good emotional/self boundaries with kids.
Once I realized it I told FH it had to stop- immediately. I found out he wasn't even changing his sheets between the nights of the week I was there and his son.
This, and he treats his son like an adult, unless I say "no," his son attends all adult functions with him, he goes on and on and on and on about his son's "wisdom about the world" and the like (yet this kid has not 1 single responsibility, does NOTHING in the house and is waited on by FH- until last June he did not know how to pour himself water from the filter in the fridge and only recently learned how to take the cap off the milk to make a bowl of cereal). FH still gets in bed with him each night he is here and reads until SS falls asleep. This is often after 2-5 reading sessions in a day, where SS is on his lap/lying with him while FH reads aloud to him (I am NOT against reading-- this kid reads/writes at a highly excelerated level).
I am the one who bought him an alarm clock for one of his Christmas presents- and the one that told him he couldn't have a pocket knife for camping until he learned how to safely use a knife in the kitchen.
So no-- I am not a fan of the all night, every night co-sleeping. I think it is absurd.

No, this is not healthy. He is too old for that.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Something else is going on to make him feel insecure sleeping by himself. Is he seeing a counselor?

If she already has you guys in court for full custody, chances are you won't be able to successfully approach her with this issue. She'll jump on defense and all chances of her hearing and receiving what you're trying to say will be lost in her defensive stance.

my son is 7(almost and if I caved to his requests he'd have me sleeping with him all the time. it's an attention thing for him. Only difference is I don't sleep with him ever, I just sit with him for a little while and that's usually enough to appease him so he can fall asleep. he just wants time from me.

I think it's ok to have a "sleepover" with mom or grandma every now and then...shouldn't be a habit though. It should be like a special treat just like any other sleepover.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

My FSS is 5 and he won't fall asleep without his BD or myself there at night. We can get up and leave once he is asleep, but if he wakes up at all in the night, he calls for one of us and will not go back to sleep until we come.
HELP!! The weeks that we have him (two full weeks a month) are becoming stressful and sleepless. Any suggestions?

His BM lets him sleep in her bed EVERY NIGHT!!