This... but not that.
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Pride in a kid.
Is hand picking things to be proud of a kid over when those things are extremely rare a positive or negative:
A kid who is predominanty refusing to perform, not incapable, just commited to not performing. Should they be praised on a piece meal basis? Particularly when they upon rare occassion do something they should be doing regularly.
I corelate this to a kid who lies and then plays the "But I am not lying this time!!!" card.
A kid who lies cannot be trusted to tell the truth. They do not get to pick and choose when they will be believed or not.
While I do not want to constantly be hard on kids, I also balk at piece meal praise and parenting.
Just wondering what the concensus is.
when poor behavior or habits
when poor behavior or habits are the norm I will offer light praise o a brief "thank you" when the pattern's broken but I don't get all gushy over someone doing what they should have been doing the whole damn time.
Same. I think some people
Same. I think some people treat raising kids like raising dogs, ie. Reward positive behavior with lots of "good boy!"s and treats in the hopes that the behavior will continue. The key is that the kid has to actually value your opinion of them more than they like doing whatever the inappropriate behavior was. Not all kids give a flying f- about what their parents think.
Personally I'm usually so irritated at the person that by the time that they actually do something good, it's difficult for me to even muster a "thank you".
When I was a child, if either
When I was a child, if either I or my brother sought barely deserved (or undeserved) praise, my mother would look at us and say that we weren't likely to strain ourselves. It wasn't something we did often lol
Yay you woke up today!
Nope, not even with my autistic son. These are expectations. Some things are more challenging. I remind my kids often, I WAS disabled as a child, I never considered myself that nor was I given any accommodations for it, it just was the way it was. In many ways I'm grateful for that. It just never occurred to me that I couldn't do the things other kids did, so I did them. I am at the age though that I think "yay you woke up today" About myself : p
While federally recognized, I have never considered myself to be
disabled.
My disability/disease is entirely treatable and survivable if managed diligently. It drives me nucking futz when I see parents watching their diabetic kids shoveling sweets/crap down their throats while pounding on the buttons of their insulin pumps thinking that it's fine.
Those same parents and kids will be the ones crying about how unfair and expensive it is when they are losing body parts/etc....