Oh Nooooo
MY KIDS.... MY BIO KIDS.... are pulling crap with my bf. This weekend both my daugher (8) and my son (12) told me that bf was being mean or said "no" to them and both seperatly stated that it was 'because we're not his kids'.... My daughter had her melt down over ice cream.... it was a fight to get her to eat dinner last night and then directly after dinner she wanted yougart.... then when bf was getting ice cream she asked for some and he said "didn't you just have yougart?" BD ran from the kitchen right to me crying and saying bf wouldn't let her have ice cream and he was being mean to her..... With my son it was a snorkel set.... bf bought one for his daugter (7), a set that includes a snorkel, flippers and goggles. My son wanted a set too but they didn't have a boy set that was for the same price ($16.00) and the set my son wanted was $27.00 so bf said no but STILL bought him pair of $16.00 goggles.... BS told me that bf told him he wasn't going to buy a snorkel set because and that he said "you're not my son so I'm not getting it for you".....
I was really hurt and spent the next day or so trying to figure out how to bring this up to bf.... because in reality he doesn't need to buy my kids anything and my kids are not entitlted as they seem to think they are.
I'm really hurt that my kids are doing this and I don't understand it.
I was married once before in a blended family (not my kid's father) and this is the first serious relationship since that marriage ended. My bf has 3 kids and I have two.
Any advice on how to handle/nip this would be appreciated. FYI, bf and I confronted both kids about what was said and called them on it.
Agree w/ OBT...
Stick together and make sure that ALL the kids know that any form of disrespect toward the other parent will never be tolerated.
BD14 has pulled the old "You're not my dad" card on FH before. The thing is, FH is more of a dad to her than my XH (her bio-dad) who she only talks to every few weeks. And FH cares about her and wants the best for her, but she just sees it as an intrusion. When BD14 said this, I made sure she understood that he may not be her father and she doesn't have to like all his rules, but she must ABSOLUTELY respect him. She is old enough to understand (as are your biokids) that he and I are on a team now...we are raising a family together and like it or not, she is part of that family and there will be no putting one parent against the other.
That's not to say that there are times when I feel that FH has acted unfairly to BD14. He worships SD8 and often, BD14 gets an unfair hand in things. But I will immediately talk privately to FH until we come to an agreement. If he was wrong, he will go apologize to BD14. If I am wrong, I will explain to her that what he says goes.
Based on what you wrote about your BF on your other post....
Is it possible the kids are telling the truth? OR perhaps he's treating them differently so much that they are reading into that "you're not my kid" thing?
Just asking, since the post about FB has me thinking your BF has demonstrated he's controlling and sarcastic to you already.