Okay...What Is REALLY Pissing Me Off In This Situation~
*I'm not the damn maid here- wash your shit yourself.If you don't like my food, starve.
*I'm not your nightly whore that you never please, ever.
*I'm not going to sit around looking "pretty" and smiling while I watch you let your son get away with rudeness and complete disrespect.
*I am not washing your pile of dirty clothes that YOU throw on the floor in a nasty pile.
***I pay 75% of NEEDED bills while you pay for a car I never drive and I drive a paid off P.O.S.
*I NEED new clothes.* I NEED to see a doctor myself you a-hole. YOU go crying like a baby (poor baby) while I haven't had a normal "cycle" since the 1st month of the year. (please)
*YOU dear DH have the nerve to "watch" me drink a few and of course say, "Oh, I see you have had a few glasses of wine today." Please. You dear DH have like 10 bottles of pills to calm you? WTF?
*YOU expect me to get your kid up and ready on YOUR morning with him while YOU go spend 20 mins. in the bathroom on your hair and ever- graying beard. ugh- get over the midlife crisis!
*YOU wonder why you need lube now during sex? It is only to satisfy you and god knows what is going through that gray head of yours.
*YOU are just in general, a completely different man than when we first married. You went from helping out to doing squat.
*I am sick of not getting enough peace and just plain old rest.
*I am sick of not being able to see my friends on the weekend because you don't feel so good or have to watch your own kid.
If anyone on here tells me to give my "poor" DH a break, I'll scream like never before.
I'm not too happy, (obviously) and nobody seems to understand why this is? Get real.
I feel constantly used, stepped on, unappreciated, taken advantage of and no matter what attitude I get, it does not seem to work.
I don't need critical comments right now, please. I understand that this is my choice but as of now, I am stuck in this crap.
I'm tired of feeling like a flower garden constantly stepped on by big boots here.
That felt good. Thanks for "allowing" me to VENT.
I like how it was to the
I like how it was to the point. Easy to understand, even for the dumbest of men and thickest of women. Does your H have a copy of this list? If he doesn't, he probably should.
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
LMAO I think he would break
LMAO
I think he would break down and cry like a 2 year old saying, "I don't understand, MWC!!!" I mean, get real dude you know?
Did by chance you do the same and what came out of it?
*This isn't the entire list either *
I made a list...it was
I made a list...it was softer but packed a hard punch still. H made a list too...we both ended up crying like little babies about each other's lists bc we were like, "I didn't know!! Why didn't you tell me before everything blew up??? How am I supposed to fix it if you are passive aggressive and don't tell me straight up???"
Yeah...it was a good talk. a necessary talk and we're both better for it.
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
So, soften it down a bit and
So, soften it down a bit and do it?
DH (not defending him) is a tad bit "clueless." Honestly.
My husband wears the
My husband wears the clueless dunce cap often especially when it comes to his emotional IQ. Soften it...share it and have him do the same.
. Clear,precise and no room for misunderstanding or miscommunication. It won't work unless you both do the list. Otherwise, he'll feel attacked. He'll be put on the defense then he'll shut down and just lash out and you will get nothing resolved.
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
--->***I pay 75% of NEEDED
--->***I pay 75% of NEEDED bills while you pay for a car I never drive and I drive a paid off P.O.S. <---
OMG..totally me...I hear you there girl...man o' man I hear you.
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... why would you feel worthless and weak? You gave everything, your entire heart.. giving it to him. To truly give your heart, your trust, is taking the bravest of all risks--C.Young
{{{MWC}}} I think you need a
{{{MWC}}} I think you need a hug.
Luv ya girl, it probably felt good to get that out.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
Hugs for you MWC - I can
Hugs for you MWC - I can relate. And I'm sure most people here can too. Whether they want to admit it or now...
"Marriage is a partnership of two people... One who is always right and a husband." - Anonymous
(standing clapping) like BBB
(standing clapping) like BBB said..make him a list..staple it to his shirt every morning!
Yeah it felt reallly good to
Yeah it felt reallly good to bang this out.
I'm soooooooooo tired of the attitudes that we are supposed to "take it with a grain of salt." BS!!!
I'm stupid for letting it get this bad. I have held in guilty feelings over all of this "rage."
I'm a big girl wearing her big girl shoes. This is NOT like me either to let a MAN treat me this way. Not to brag, (honest), but I can still walk out and make most guys heads turn, if not trip.
The thing is, I think I personally jumped in way too early after my late, loving hubby's death two years ago. (I admit it.) He was also 16 years older than me.That's what happens when you trade in a man that worked with NASA for a store manager...
We ALL deserve better than this.
Standing
Standing Ovation......!!!
Good Job.......
I won't tell you to give a break......well maybe his neck......
Every town has an Elm Street
Bows down to MWC....hat in
Bows down to MWC....hat in my hand. We hear you girl....We hear you!
Thanks guys! I'll try to
Thanks guys!
I'll try to work on it and 'soften' it up for my soft husband...(I don't want him to cry like a baby.)
I'm sure when I ask him for his list he will look at me like, "Huh? What list? For what, MWC?"
Oh boya...
I am making my list.. not
I am making my list.. not sure if I am gonna soften it before I give it to him.. ugh.. not sure at this point if I care that he might feel attacked, after all I have been used as a babysitter for HIS kids, a housekeeper, cook, and all around maid..here for his kids and his ex to use at their every whim.. do I care if he is attacked or course not.. at least this time it will be in black and white and I wont have to try to remember a speech, I will just print it and give it to him when needed!
You know epgr...I thought
You know epgr...I thought that also. Why be so kind to creatures who seem to care less for us?
I could die today and they would all just find another replacement.
my opinion, mostly since I
my opinion, mostly since I have read just about every single effing post on here in the past month.. screw him put on your big boy panties and deal with it.. I am not here to be run over, used and pushed aside when it suits his needs. I have tried to babystep him thru everything and look where thats got me.. even his kids use me.. well they did, that is coming to a screeeeechhhinnnnng halt!!! him and his kids have a tough road ahead.. I know they are not taking it seriously right now..but they will soon learn that I am not effing kidding..I will kick them all out.. yep even DH out of his house!! hey if I would have been paid for busting my ass for him and his kids I could have bought 2 houses, and a car!! lol
so no.. I really dont care if I hurt his ego..he has not cared about mine for how long now??...
Excerpt from MWC "Why be so
Excerpt from MWC "Why be so kind to creatures who seem to care less for us?"
That is definately food for thought....perhaps because we are the bigger persons...we were brought up to know the difference between right and wrong...we were brought up to have values...and even those of us who may have had a rough childhood...you became the person you knew you wanted to be all on your own because you knew you could be more. We have hearts filled with forgiveness and anticipation of better things to come.
MWC I love this post!! I
MWC I love this post!! I admire you so much for your honesty and for not "editing" your feelings when you wrote this - not too many people have the guts to do it.
We're all standing up clapping for you (and giggling over some of the bolder comments you made). AMEN to you, sister!!
Can I get an AMEN from the crowd???
I am so sick and tired of
I am so sick and tired of hearing the phrase "you knew he had kids when you married him... you knew what you were getting into"...
Yeah, and I have married how many men with kids before? And I knew that he didn't know how to discipline them. And I knew that his ex-wife was a crazy troll bitch.
Nope... I think you are right!!! We didn't know!!! I think that we would have thought twice before accepting that first date.
There should be a rule that the ex-wife should call on the first date to tell the new prospect off, and that he should have to bring the kids with him. That way we can go running for the hills before we have a chanc eto fall in love!!!
Ditto Snowflake..
Ditto Snowflake..
I just have to say wow!!!! I
I just have to say wow!!!! I bet you feel better for that! I agree with every statement (except being able to pay all the bills on my own).
I have tried to have the conversation with DH about the same subjects - his response.....(throwing his hands in the air)"Why don't I just kill myself".
I feel guilty because sometimes my response to that is, "well, why don't you?" Not because I want HIM dead, but because the conversation was about how badly I'm treated and he turned it around to be a pity party for himself. At 46 are you supposed to be so pathetic?
So I end up feeling as though there was really no point in bringing up the subject of how horrible I feel because he's too obtuse to comprehend the subject matter. So I ended by telling him that this is the reason he's heading for divorce #3! The only good thing is that we don't have any children and I walk away with a clean slate and he walks away with the same problematic baggage he showed up with. Hmmm, a clean slate sounds so good right now!
As for the sex issue, well, we don't have that anymore because he's afraid that I will trick him into having a kid with him like his last ex - is he fucking kidding me? As well as the fact that since meeting him I've inflated like a Macy's day Parade float and my health has gone the opposite route.
Good for you to let that all out and hopefully your DH won't be as obtuse when you slap down a discertation of why you are unhappy. Good luck!
Update: I laid down many,
Update: I laid down many, many things last night and all that came of it was wild sex and DH saying, actually sobbing, "I would never want you to feel this way. I must be doing something wrong..." duh...
I think he is completely clueless.