Omg r u kidding me!!!!!!
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So SO gets a text from BM saying she is so worried about little sd4 princess because she seems so sad and angry lately and could that be because of Carah!!!!!!! R u kidding me after every thing I have do r for this skid now you want to pin the blame one for her emotional unhappiness!!!! Wow I am so over all of this nothing I do is enough or right and now tonite at dinner we are back to negotiating her meal again!!!! Somebody talk me off this ledge I am about to go postal!
This is what I call a time
This is what I call a time for an "out of body" experience where you actually visualize yourself laughing your ass off, having a great time shopping - perhaps spending $300 on a purse or better yet, a full body massage, pedi, mani, and then - oh yes, on those off-skid weekends or days, a lovely meal with your SO and no interference other than having to relight the candles on the dinner table because they burned all the way out - great conversation that had NO MENTION of BM or skids in it.
Look forward to your one on one time and make it a point to NEVER let OTHERS interfere with it. I call it my "Happy Place" and in the heat of it, it may help.
Now I am going to take my own advice and not think about my own Step-kid BM crazy issues interfere with my evening with DH. NOT WORTH IT.
So, don't jump. You are worth it and besides, you already know you can fly!
Thank you very much I might
Thank you very much I might be done with him too
And apparently saying no
And apparently saying no snacks cus u didn't eat all Ur dinner means u can have candy 2 hours after dinner uuugggghhh
She's FOUR. The very fact
She's FOUR. The very fact that you exist means to her that her daddy and mommy can't be together. It's not rational. It's not mature. Again, she's a preschooler. She doesn't have reasoning like that just yet.
Besides, it could all be a lie made by BM. who knows.
No it was the bm who said it
No it was the bm who said it not sd
Bm doesn't like my rules
Bm doesn't like my rules which consist of table manners, being polite and keeping her too
Clean... That's it but because bm has no rules thinks I am too strict with her and that's why she is unhappy all the time because I'm too strict she has the same rules as the bios and that's the way it is apparently daddy doesn't understand rules either
BM didn't like mine either -
BM didn't like mine either - same as yours (WEIRD - table manners - meaning we can't eat with our FACES?). But *sadly* she was told that she a) cannot control me and b) isn't the boss of MY house or ME. She eats a huge plate of crow anytime she tries to 'manage' MY HOUSEHOLD.
Oh my thank u u made me laugh
Oh my thank u u made me laugh eating with our faces lol
oh I know! So BM has really
oh I know! So BM has really bad table manners....get this....according to *her* skids - yes they talk!
- HAHAHA! It's SO karma, revisited twice over for her.
She:
- eats with her mouth open (*cue barfing noises here)
- reaches across the table for anything
- drops/leaves food on her clothing
- uses her face to eat? I really don't know but thought this was hysterical & ran with it. Their 'description' of her.
- uses her hands to eat....corn (not on the cob here)
- wipes her hands on her clothes
- sits in front of tv with bags of cookies eating nonstop until they are all gone, covered in crumbs and chocolate (mmmm yum)
So, being chips off the old block *AHEM thank GOD on DH's side and not BM's) - I felt the need to teach the skids to
a) use utensils
b) refrain from using one's FACE to eat
c) close one's mouth!
So YAY for ugly people, they help make us better step-parents!
Damn iPhone that was suppose
Damn iPhone that was suppose to say keeping her room clean
Read a book called "Try and
Read a book called "Try and make me". It's a book about dealing with kids who have Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It's not ONLY good for dealing with those kids, though. It's also a great tool for dealing with a child that has structure and boundaries at one place, and basically free ranges at the other place. I'm dealing with this issue with SD5 right now. Thankfully SD5 started Kindergarten this year and the teacher and principal noticed the exact same behavioral problems that I have to deal with all the time. BM tried to say that these were "all new" behaviors and she has not had any problems with kiddo, and was unaware that we were having problems. I sat right there and referenced other conversations where I had talked to her about problems, and DH had attempted to talk to her about problems. She then tried to make the excuse that the problem was probably the dynamic between both teachers, me, DH, and SD5. In other words, it's always someone else's fault.
Low and behold, turns out in our case SD5 is just a brat.
Stop negotiating about food. Fix the kid a plate. Fix her a plate of whatever everyone else is eating. Let her know what time dinner is (ours is 6-6:45, 7 at the latest). If she hasn't finished by 7, pick the plate up. Dinner is over. The next opportunity to eat will be at breakfast. At my house there is no dessert and no snacking later if dinner isn't finished. Some people say that if little precious wants to eat later because "she's hungry", you should get out dinner leftovers and feed her. I disagree. I think any child other than one with severe health problems should be able to wait til breakfast. I think every child should know what it's like to feel hungry as a result of their own choices. It DEFINATELY sticks with them for later.
Oh it's not me doing the
Oh it's not me doing the negotiating it's her father she never tries it with me when he's not here and I suspect she does the same with her mother and because they give in it continues. So I am done no reason for me to keep trying!
If you are not getting
If you are not getting support from your SO... then yes, take a step back!
If you don't get back up or support you are on your own and of course she doesn't try this stuff with you... because she clearly knows the rule with you is that she doesn't get to negotiate. Kids are really good at manipulating their parents, especially with guilt... and they at 4 it is a very innocent manipulation, but it is not her fault... she does it because they let her.
My skids are the same way - they know I don't take their shenanigans... but it is an uphill battle. Dad tries to be their friend and it is frustrating, and I laugh a little when he complains about them not listening or sassing him... when they don't do it to me. Also we hear about it from BM... she complains about how the kids are acting with her and it utterly disgusts me... grab a clue parents... the reason they treat you this way is because you accept it.
Good on you Carah for being the one she listens too, but also I can tell you it kind of sucks too because it is a double edged sword. While BD/BM are busy being her friend she is losing something important from them she needs and she is getting it from you if you want to give it, but it also means you get to be the bad guy more often than not. It is your call who to be in her life... but if dad isn't supporting you, it is going to be a long road.
Thank you that us exactly how
Thank you that us exactly how I feel and have said to him that I am always the bad guy so I always get the bad guy rep. And it's not fair to me or her and he needs to step up and deal with this more so I don't have to. Anyway that being said I'm pretty sure the relationship is done after last night and him getting up and leaving for work this morning without a single word so whatever I will be better off
I am ROLLING over here
I am ROLLING over here reading this..."Uses face to eat thing" hahahha!! WHAT does that even mean? Like a dog? WHO does that????????????
I agree and now he is all
I agree and now he is all pissy with me saying if this is too much for u to handle i will make other arrangements for her.....go ahead no sweat off my back. Then he says to me you always make a big issue put of everything and she gets the brunt of it!!! Well maybe I'd he would deal with it I wouldn't have to. I have 2 of my own and they all have the same rules my son last night was made to eat his dinner. She is told that if she doesn't hurry she will be eating alone then he continues to sit with her after we have all left the table and starts negotiating how many more bites she has to have then says to her no snacks tonite cus u didn't eat Ur dinner 2 hours later she's having Halloween candy....but it's my fault???
Tells me he didn't have time
Tells me he didn't have time to kiss me goodbye this morning us he was running late but made sure he went into the princesses room to kiss her goodbye!!! It's all bs!