Ok, I can come off as bitchy I guess like anyone else but there were a few things that went down the step kid weekend that really really pissed me off. For one My DH's big kids, the two boys who are always together decided to bail on Friday, hey that is cool with us and we totally get it except that SD and SS were pissed over it, fine they were upset their big brothers were not here, but they just would not let it go! It was all weekend, "StepLady did YOU tell them to leave? Did YOU make them mad or what?" Not at all! They are teens they have a life and they did not want to hang with the little steps all weekend, don't blame them! But it was annoying that I got all the blame ofcourse! And SD kept saying they "really wanted" to see her. Who said that??

Here is the biggest concern, when I picked up SS and SD from school, they both stunk. And I do not mean, they smelled not fresh or were sweaty from phys ed class, I mean they both smelled like stinky dogs and dog poop. They both had greasy hair and arm pit stains in their school shirts. I washed their school stuff and bagged it for them right away, was that right? According to BM2 nope! She hates that! But they smelled! I told each one to shower after school and I seriously sprayed down my car interior when we got home. They did not know I did that or why etc.

Then these off the wall comments regarding Columbus Day. I am not from the USA. BM2 knows this. I have different culture. I do not care about Columbus Day at all. I get it there are people here that were raised thinking he was a hero etc. My background does not find his deeds to be heroic and I have been well versed on the cruel and inhumane deeds he enjoyed. Ss and sd would not get off his nuts all weekend. "We have no school Monday, our mom says he killed lots of bad people, he took land he wanted from people that were not living right, he has same background as we do!" She knows where I am from and about my various ethnicity etc. leave the kids out of it and tell me to my face what you want to say, ooops I forgot you are not allowed to talk to me stupid! If DH and I had an "ours" baby that he wanted that baby would have half my various cultures and DNA and would be their half sibling, its so insulting, in our own home!

Bought light jackets for both kids last visit they were wearing them as it was cool out at pick up. When I washed them they each had two small but obvious burn marks! One on each. I know she wants to trash the items we buy and I know we are foolish to send kids back with new jackets. Clothes stay here! But it is chilly and they are never dressed for the climate. We wanted them to have nicer fall outerwear for school purposes and to keep them warm and healthy. She put cigarette burns on each one! Why? To be a crazy bitch I guess.

Kids each had boxes of trash food in their book bags from school. BM2 sent them to school with junk food in their packs for our home, crackers, gum, candy, chips, chocolate bars. Get that shit out of here! We dont want it and the kids do not need it! They knew it was in the bags and protested it was "theirs!" Well the home is ours and we do not want it here. There was a note on the bags to "share with the little girl!" You mean my dd? She doesn't want or need shitty food thanks! We dont need that influence here!

SS told tales about how his mom sends him to his room all the time so she can hang out with sd and her husband all the time, it makes me very mad and sad. It makes me want to spend more time with ss so he will know how funny and smart and interesting he is and that we like to be around him. It also honestly makes me sick for him and It makes me kind of mad at SD to be honest. She gets all the love and care at her moms and ss is odd man out. I think maybe BM2 was so glad to have her "mini me" dd that she pushed ss away and I do wonder if her stupid husband is jealous of ss or feels like he needs to be only guy in the home? I hate it!

SD was very fiery all weekend. "why? why? who said? no! no! no! i dont want to! i want mommy! i want mommy! mommmmmmmy mommmmmmmmmmy!" All the baby crap over cleaning up toys she took out or being told it was not time to eat! Both kids have said "My mom said I can be bad here. My mom says do not listen to you! My mom hates you and if I be bad I can go home!" Sorry does not work like that over here! DH and I agree if kids are bad they do not go in public. Let BM2 text us and email about how we did not take kids out at all, well we will not be embarrassed sorry! But after kids were all washed up and relaxing Saturday DH and I did go in public! We had a date! It was an hour before bedtime so kids were not missing out on having us home. We had a babysitter that we use for dd come over and we went to a very late dinner and drinks and it was wonderful! Let BM2 cry over it! Too bad! Kids were more than well taken care of! Absolutely better than what they do at home anyways! But skids had me so annoyed I did NOT even want to come back home to be honest. I was just so done with it all.

I do love my DH and I do love all the skids! I really do. I just know that if they stayed with us full time, it would not be this way. We are not perfect but we are a good team and we do things that are consistent and DH and I have no boundaries about who says what to what kid, they are all in OUR home. We ALL deserve respect. We do not fight in front of kids, we do not degrade or even mention negative comments about any parents, we just do our thing. "You are here to have fun and be with your dad but because you are acting out, there will be work before reward sorry, get your room done and then come join us etc". We believe in praising the good and taking an emotional but firm stance on the bad. "when we do the wrong things we have to suffer the consequences, it was not accident there for you are not doing xyz while the other kids do that." We just agree on a lot of things and balance each other nicely. We have never physically or mentally or sexually hurt any of the kids. We have money and a good lawyer and we do things on the high road, yet we just get hearing after hearing after hearing its getting old and the kids are getting older and missing out on normal happy lives. It is really sad and it makes me very mad and sad.

Kids have already both been tardy and missed school! So soon? Yes and more than once. Why? Their mom is lazy. And her husband is unemployed and uninvolved, he is busy playing with the dog and watching tv from what I hear. SD gets heavier it seems every week, SS gets sadder and bigger and lonelier. We talk to our lawyer and the GAL and the GAL is a know nothing lazy man. He does not care what DH says, it is all about mom having rights and mom is the mother, no shit really she is?? Wow, you are amazing! It is a nightmare for everyone! Everyone tells us the GAL is in charge of judge and is he eyes and ears and that is the way it really seems to be playing out.

I guess I am not asking for adgvice as so much as feeling sorry for kids, DH, myself and dd. It is just sad. I did not stay with my partner I am divorved. But I did choose someone carefully and that guy is a good dad and a nice man and normal with good parents that help him and he is on track. I get mad at DH for marrying such a gross, crazy, terrible, selfish immature, rotten woman and making two kids with her. I do tell him how disapointed I am with him when it comes to her. He does not give in to her, he barely says a word to her and if so its on email and just "ok" "got it" or the hated answer "no way BM I am not giving in no way!" This is very hard on all of us.