I thought of this board when I heard about this. A girl I work with (she is pretty nice, been there a while) got engaged for the New Year. How exciting! We are happy for her in a way, they have lived together for years.

She has three kids by three different men, has never been married. She gets a lot of CS, but enjoys tending bar for extra money and stay out late. Her BF stays home with the kids at night and has been out of work for months. When he does work, he can not seem to keep a job for any long amount of time. Both are in their mid/late thirties. He just got a divorce from an ex in his homestate finalized, ex did all the work. He paid for nothing and they had no children together.

He is in the hole with CS to a child that lives far away in another state. She has never met this child, he has no contact with the child. He is in the hole tons of thousands. They have both reached out to child and the BM and been turned away numerous times. I don't care for this man and my DH does not really want him around or trust him and refused to take a chance giving him a job as well.

Here is where it really got to me, getting engaged, getting a huge ring, he owes tons of money. Is it fake? We wonder! Did she buy it herself? Hmmm maybe. Did he steal it from someone? Steal from her to buy it? Why get engaged now? He wants have access to his kid now, she is going to "help" him with the courts. Help pay a lawyer, look like a family unit for the courts, give advice to him. We all told her it was a crazy thing to try to finance. What court would force a teen to contact a father they do not want to see? I don't think this will work out the way they assume it will and I don't think she realizes how expensive it is going to get. They say they do not want any kids together but neither has been sterilized so that makes me wonder as well. She keeps going on and on about the wedding they will have with all their kids etc. She is planning to invite his kid, I doubt the kid wants to come and I doubt the BM would be willing to pay for the travel etc. Who would do that? He sounds like a shit dad to me, but after being on this board and experiencing BM2 drama and lies I now see there are many women who do the lying and game playing with their ex etc.

While she enjoys the free babysitting and help around her home from him, he will be using her for money and crying the blues about how he misses his kid he has not seen or supported in years. They are both using each other as help in their lives and that is not always the best quality is a partner. I would rather have a good lover that is self sufficient and friend to me than someone "helping" me out. What a mess this is going to turn into! She quit school to take on more hours at the bar to help with bills at their home. The entire scenario is just sad. :jawdrop: