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over analyzing

startingover2010's picture

while i am very busy during the day with sd11 and bd2, i do have some downtime, which gives me lots of time to think.

i have come to the realization that my relationship has not been a relationship at all, it has been all about sd and how to 'fix her'.

bf and i have not had many oppurtunities to be a 'couple'. he has full custody, as bm is a real dirtball. his mother was the only one willing to look after the kid when we wanted to go out. but once we moved in together, that started to dissipate.

i realize i have wasted 5 yrs of my life. the only good thing out of this relationship is my daughter. everything else has been so dysfunctional.

question is, now that i have seen the light, where do i go from here?