Only you know how important it is to you. But the fact that you posted about it here seems to indicate this is a pretty big deal to you. Is it a deal breaker? It is for some people. I have an old friend who was in a similar situation. His fiance actually waited until they were engaged before telling him she never wanted kids. He agonized over it, and eventually decided to marry her and forgo having children. They ended up divorced, and he's in his 40's now - tough to find a new relationship where kids are still a possibility, at least with a woman his own age. He still regrets marrying his ex-wife.

But everyone is different, and you have to make the best call you can with the situation as it exists NOW. There are no guarantees either way, but the way I see it there are 4 possible scenarios. You might marry this woman and end up divorced with no kids. You could leave her and never find another "Miss Right" and end up single with no kids. You could marry her and live happily ever after with no kids. OR, you could leave her, find the perfect woman and live happily ever after with a new wife and a house full of kids.

Your job is to figure out which one of those would make you the most happy, or conversely, which one you couldn't live with. Somewhere in there you'll find you've made your decision.

I think you're the only one who can gauge how bad the ache is to have a child. Also, I give your GF credit for admitting she doesn't want more children. There are plenty of women who will say/do anything to keep the man in their lives, and do something underhanded to serve their own agendas.

If you want a child of your own, convincing yourself that it's okay not to is most likely going to lead to a lot of resentment.

I never seriously dated anybody who thought for a minute that they wanted kids because I never did. I was not willing to be talked into it and I was not willing to talk somebody else out of it.

Child

Thank your GF for being honest with you. Many people keep that vital piece of information to themselves until after they are married

well, i see what people are saying. leave if its important enough to you.

But that said, if you leave, there is no guarantee you will have a child. even if you find someone that you love and want to have a child with, its no guarantee particularly depending upon her age.

Find a woman without children and start your own family.

A big part of relationships is the question of what future do both partners want?

People leave relationships all the time based on this:

"I left him because he never wanted to get married."

"I left her because she wanted to raise any kids we might have as believers of her church"

"We broke up because he wanted to move to New York and I didn't want to leave my career/family."

Not wanting the same things out of life is one of the biggest causes of marriage failures. Your GF has just announced she does not want the same future that you do. You do the math.

As Disney said, thank her for her honesty and start packing.

I would probably end the relationship if I were in your shoes. You would forever resent your GF and possibly her child.

I think it's time you moved on.

After three years though, please take some time for yourself and don't jump into something new.

kurlos, my first wife didn't want to have children. Actually she said she was "open" to the idea of having children but I swear, the moment the church bells rang and the rice was being tossed she said she didn't want children. I thought that maybe, given time, she would change her tune. She didn't. I wanted children, but I loved her and thought that would sustain our marriage.

When friends and family would ask "So? Are you going to have any kids?" my (ex)wife would become quite vocal about not having children. It was extremelly embarrassing because people who know me knew how much I adored kids and wanted some of my own one day. Embarassment became bitterness and biterness became resentment. I shouldn't have allowed it to get to that point but it happened. I am not saying that this will happen to you, but every. single. time. we went out to a restaurant, family gathering, or even just the grocery store and I saw a father with his children, it pulled on my heart strings. My ex saw it in my face and she would actually purposely kick and spit on stranger's kids just to get the point across to me that she hated children and wanted nothing to do with them. (Yeah, my ex had a few screws loose).

Anyways, I wrote all this to simply state that if you have doubts now, it WON'T get any better with time. Not being able to father children of your own will have an affect on you. Maybe you could learn to deal with it, but don't delude yourself into thinking that your love for GF will overshadow your wish to have children of your own because, sadly, it won't.

Child. You two could split up one day god forbid and you'd be without a child of your own. You're a man and could always have one, but you probably have a certain age in mind you'd like to have one.

this is very important for some people. but for perspective children grow up and move away and start their own families. dont expect them to care for you in old age. how many children abandon their parents to nursing homes? lots. a good spouse (a good one, that is) is a lifelong companion.

ask yourself the reason you want children. for some reason people need to reproduce when many children thru no fault of their own await adoption. i know of a woman who adopted a refugee toddler in her 40s when her own children were teens. a large heart with love to share.

only you can decide what is important to you.