So it's summer time and pick ups and drop offs get trickier. I saw a bunch of texts between FDH and BM, and very few of them were actually about FSD7. Most of them were personal jabs at each other (both ways), bitching about child support (mostly her), and even a few about BM's dying grandfather, who FDH was apparently a fan of while they were together. The last one really upset me, to the point where I made it clear I was not comfortable with them talking about anything but scheduling of their daughter, and the health of their daughter. Everything else needs to be discussed through the court. Questions about past-due child support (which doesn't exist) need to be directed toward the child support office. Any complaining about how FDH parents need to be handled in court mediation, etc. because the rude text messages will never change anything. Threats of increases in child support are also annoying, she's "not working" so FDH should expect to pay more child support soon. 

BM also likes to say nasty things about FDH mother, who watches FSD7 often. Like nasty things about FMIL's estranged husband who cheated on her with the bookkeeper, and she'll tell FSD7 things like FMIL wishes her dog was her husband, since her husband left her for another woman. None of it is needed, it has nothing to do with the child's health or safety, and it's just her way of maintaining as much control over everyone as she possibly can. 

In addition, BM's car supposedly has no A/C or windows that roll down, and the weather here has gotten quite warm. On Sunday, she insisted he drive all the way out to her new home (about 30-45 mins away in traffic), and drop off his daughter there. I told him that I'm uncomfortable with him going to her house, and that the court order says they are to do pick up/drop off at the Starbucks close to where we live. She also likes to pull the "I had to drive all the way out here and now I have no gas," card, and my FDH will put some gas in her car. I'm defintely not okay with that either. She chose to move far away from the court appointed drop off, which was very close to where she was living at the time, so if she can't afford to pick up her child, then she needs to make other arrangements. Well, yesterday he texted her that he'd pick up FSD7 at her house this morning. I confronted him about it, and he said he just said that so she doesn't say anything when his mom picks her up. Not surprisingly, I find out he's in her neighborhood picking her up (Facebook is a dead giveaway, haha). He flat out lied to me about it. 

This comes from a man who freaked out on me for trying to remain friends with my ex, who I no longer had interest in, but who suffers from extreme depression. I was trying to be a friend to him, and was upfront about it with FDH and my ex. He didn't like that and insisted I ceast contact with him. I don't understand why it makes it okay for him to keep constant contact with his ex, just because they have a kid together. He certainly doesn't need to be going to her house, when seemingly she keeps wanting to keep the lines of communication open, although mostly hostile communication. I think it's her way of controlling the situation. She keeps bringing up how things were while they were together, and calling him names. It's really not healthy for anyone. 

I told him he needs to send the following message: "Moving forward, please only text or call me with things pertaining to SD7. I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa but I'm sure I would have heard about it from FSD7. The personal talk is not necessary and will no longer continue...that includes questions or comments about my mother and myself. Questions regarding child support need to be directed toward the child support office. If you do not have a safe, working vehicle, then please resolve that situation yourself before picking up our daughter. This includes ensuring you have gas. Pick ups and drop offs will only occur at the Starbucks in [our city], per court order. I will wait 20 minutes on my drop off days, per court order, and if you are not there FSD7 will be spending the night with me. Here is my schedule for the summer [summer schedule, vacations, camp, etc.], please abide by it, and i will be sure to abide by your request for time for art camp and vacations. I request that all discussions regarding additional child support only occur in court. I will be sure to document this request for any future court dates." 

Basically, I'm feeling like my FDH is more concerned with keeping BM happy and off his case, than keeping me happy. Should I suffer just because she's a terrible human being? It's certainly not okay that he lies to me about it. I get it, he's trying to keep the peace, but it doesn't make it okay. 

I'm sure many of you have been in a simliar situation. What did you do? What do you suggest I do? Do I demand to be at every pick up/drop off?