please help me
ok so im 32 and have'nt had child yet ive been in a relationship for 4 years now and my man dont want me to have a baby because he thinks ill love my biological child more than his daughter.ok so thats my problem and heres the story... he has 3 children all girls, ages 16(dont even call him dad)7(hes never seen)and 5(lives with us and bio mom has nothing to do with her).i feel that i cant love her like a bio mom because i dont even have any of my own.common sense tells me that yes i probly would love my bio more than her because my child would be a part of me.i find that natural,but i dont think i would treat them differently if anything i think i might be more affectionate and authoritive to her she loves her dad unconditionally not me she loves me i know this but not the same depth of love for her daddy ,i want that unconditional love from a child. but when i do start trying to be a"mom" or what i think is a mom i get dont tell me how to talkto 'MY' child then i just pull all my love back inside myself and about a year or so goes by and i start being more open and he pulled that crap again and i jus close back up and ignore her most the time i feel bad about this and sorry for her cause im the only mother figure she has does any one have advice? the story is more detailed than that but those are the basics of my problem.
you will love your Birth
you will love your Birth child more, it depends on the actions of the step kids that will make you love them.
his reasoning does not make
his reasoning does not make sense..he doesnt want you to have a baby cuz you will love your baby more than his kid, but when you try to love his kid he yells at you and suddenly its HIS kid.. cant have your cake and eat it too pal!
Let me guess, most of the responsibilty is up to you, doing hair, buying clothes, getting her ready and cute for school, cooking, cleaning up after her, sitting withher when she is sick.. etc..but you are not ALLOWED to have a baby because he wants to be an ass and toss out double standards??
I would not bow down to him, if your biological clock is ticking and he isnt listening to how you feel and he can not see how you feel about his daughter then you should def. reconsider who you want to father your child.
shoving her down your throat will eventually make you resent her.. and I am sure you dont want to do that...
Based on the way you feel
Based on the way you feel now, you will most definitely regret not having a child of your own. This is something you and your guy seriously need to discuss. To me, this would be a deal breaker.