Pregnant and honestly, not too excited.
I'm not going to lie here, that's what this forum is for. I am pregnant. :O
I know what I am "in for" also but have nobody to talk with. My DH is very excited. I am not so much. I can tell you that this baby will not have what his SD6 had, the IL's will say, "OMG" nice, eh? I am quite sure that the BM or X-whatever will flip a wig. She is already a full blown nut to begin with on her P.A.S. campaign with SD6. We have only 2 bedrooms here too. WTH are we going to put a baby? The 1st bedroom has a bunkbed in it for whomever's kid comes to sleep or visit. I do NOT want my baby alone in there with SD6. If she hits animals behind DH's back, why should I think she might not hurt the baby out of jealousy? ;Let me not forget DH's nasty dog too that pees and shits on the floor...lovely, eh?
On top of everything, how in the world can DH help support this baby with the C/S and debt collectors showing up on behalf of the ex-wife's debts? I don't think he is thinking straight.
So, I have the following thoughts running through my head and do not judge me please. I just don't see this working out for what would be best for an innocent baby, I'm sorry, but it is true. This was an "oopsie" pregnancy. (I missed 2 nights of B/C. :O ) and here it is...
Am I wrong for wanting only the best for a baby? Now is not the time but obviously "someone" else thinks so. Any advice? What can I do? My husband will not listen to my concerns.
Please help? Any others out there that have been through this? How does it go? I'm honestly afraid of him leaving me too after a baby because DH's other "pregnancy" / child ruined his previous marriage. If he can go EOWe without seeing one kid, why could he not do it again? See? I am terrified!
I REFUSE to tell anyone about this pregnancy yet for obvious reasons. Even nicer, eh? NOT the way a pregnancy should be...
Added: We both have a child.
Added: We both have a child.
SD6 AND BD19 :O (yeah)
Oh, my. I'd be freaking out,
Oh, my. I'd be freaking out, too. I'm sorry, I wish I knew what to say to help you ease your mind, but I truly don't. Sorry.
Thanks for responding! There
Thanks for responding!
There is zero way we can afford to move right now or even in the near future. I wish but finances and C/S, debts, etc. make it impossible. I only want what every baby should have and deserve.
As far as the ruined marriage pre SD6, I think my hormones are kicking into overdrive. }:)
I was swinging from sad to now quite "angry" for no reason. I've just got a ton on my mind.
Our bedroom has no room in it either. The doggy bed and his CD racks do not help in this equation. :O
You're right to only want the
You're right to only want the best for the baby. Let me ask you something - do *you* want a baby?
The best a baby could have is a loving mom who wants him. The rest is details. They can be handled, if this is what you want.
Listen to your heart.
L
Get a bigger house. File for
Get a bigger house. File for cs for this baby too, does that reduce what he pays for first kids? Idk. The dog must go asap. No if ands or buts.
First- you guys are cracking
First- you guys are cracking me up!
Secondly, I *did* want another baby but had given up on the idea. It has been 19 years since I gave birth. :O
I'm beyond shocked. I need to pray on all of this.
I'm sure God will agree on the doggy bed and cd racks though.
If you want the baby, you can
If you want the baby, you can make it work. I am not saying it is going to be easy but it is doable. And if you don't want the baby, that is ok too. Just think about what YOU want and make your decision, if other people don't agree with you they can suck it up! We are here for you! And congrats by the way!! Whatever you decide, congrats
And PLEASE let us know what you decide!!!
I too am pregnant which was
I too am pregnant which was also not so planned and not great timing being I just started a new job and we also have small house with no means to move. I'm freaking about daycare being more than what I make with also a two-year old and no other options for care. I will be not working unless something changes in 3 months. It's scary!! My Dh also pays CS and has a 15 year old who lives with us. So I know what u are going through. Trust me it could be worse..my SD is pregnant too due 4 months after me. Isn't it sad to think you'd be better off being a single mom?? The drama of blended families can be chaotic! I got rid of a dog when I was pregnant last time b/c I refuse to let my baby crawl around with poop and pee! U just gotta hang in there and know that baby will make it worthwhile. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. It will all work out, u got time to get ready and make changes to the house. My daughter had her crib in my room for first year because we had sd11 at that time so no extra rooms, but she moved back with BM so it worked out ok and now 2 year old has a room. As a mom you will do whatever u have to do for that baby to have a good life and be taken care of.
I don't have any advice to
I don't have any advice to offer you, just my (((HUGS))) and prayers.
I have a friend in Utah who
I have a friend in Utah who had 5 children. She is in her 40s and remarried late last year. About a year ago. And wouldn't you know it, she got pregnant. And with twins. She is 100lbs soaking wet and 5' nothing. She carried those babies though and delivered them at 39 weeks a couple of days ago.
Nothing cannot be overcome. All a child needs is loving parents and parents who love each other. The other stuff like co-ordinated nursery and every new item ever invented is purely glittery stuff. Children need love. You can get support form the state. There is nothing wrong with that because I am sure you and your DH have oontributed enough in state taxes over the years to get some back.
Who knows when the 'right time' for a baby is? Sandra Bullock is a highly successful actress and was married. She had it all. She was in the last few months of planning her adoption and her wolrd fell apart. Women lose their active duty husbands while they are pregnant. All the money in the world doesn't share the load of sleepless nights and wonder at your childs first smile. Will a co-ordinated nursery straight out of a Lifetime movie make your childs first smile brighter?
As for the SD6. You have enough time to put the fear of God into the young one.
I am sorry for the delay in
I am sorry for the delay in my response. You guys are wonderful and have given such great advice! I needed "privacy" to respond and I just got it for a few hours today.
I prayed and meditated on all of this last night. I have one very excited DH at my side telling me that this is " A blessing" to him and that he " could not imagine" having a child with "such a smart, beautiful, and funny woman ,who is the love of his life." :O (insert hormones) }:)
I can't explain this but it feels odd having a baby with someone who already had one before? Does anybody get that? That too may be more hormonal stuff.
SD6? What a lil devil. Yet she is a "cherub" to all in her realm. (another story)
It has been a long time since I gave birth. It almost feels like the first again. BD19 is thrilled!!! She thinks that it is the "most awesome thing." She always wanted a sibling...So, no problem there.
As far as the benefits, I'm going to lay this out in truth. DH makes too much money with mine included. They will NOT count C/S as a "burden"!!!
So...Butterfly has had to apply as a SINGLE MOM to qualify for state aid with insurance for my pregnancy. We can't pay out almost 500.00 a mth. for me to be added on his lame plan so I have no other choice. I am sick of the way insurance and medical care are run in this country! Hello? There is that "middle" bracket out there, Mr. Prez that can't afford to pay, one way or the other? This is my strong opinion here...if this country can take medical care of felons, rapists, you name it, why in the hell do they not care for that "mid" group out "there" who are smart, productive US citizens, and help them at least bring a baby into the world?! Hello? Where are the morals and intellect in that? I have to be "single" on paper to get medical care while pregnant because we make, I mean give out too much money? Whatever! Anyways.... }:)
A mom will do what she has to do!!!
I asked DH a question this morning; " Are you going to feel guilty having a baby here all the time while your daughter is barely here because she wants "mommy"?" He thought about it and said, "No. This is our baby." I think his heart is in the right place.